Maths
first of all ... and I know that this may anger some of the viewers of this post ... but I would like to curse the following gods:
- Yahweh: oh, come on, you know what you did ... and you have no good way to explain yourself ... much more than Dick Chaney, I hate you
- L. Ron Hubbard: in a world of idiots where the only chance of survival is to become more intelligent, you decided to make our people stupider ... I hope you get a thetin meter shoved up your ass
- Haphestus: come on ... ur a god ... with a limp ... and your wife cheated on you repeatedly. You are a horrible role-model
- and finally, Buddha: because I have yet to gain enlightenment, you selfish bastard
I try and try to fill the void in my life with work. I am now a week ahead of my math class by doing every homework problem in the book and still staying ahead of the class. While "Shaun of the Dead" was on, I wrote out a Cayley table for the Heisenberg Group in Z_2 space. I talked with my professor for 30 minutes trying to understand the third proof to how the lower pascal matrix, when postmultiplied by the upper pascal matrix equals the regular pascal matrix. Whenever I start to think about my lonliness, I pull out a pad of paper and start to do math ...
But its not working ... the stress is just building.
It is the stereotype that mathematicians go crazy ... yes, I am already so ... but I fear this may be making it worse. I just need to get through another 2.8 semesters of college ... then I can go to grad school ... and after that, I can get a job ... maybe then ... maybe after the prime of my life has passed by ... maybe then I can get a girlfriend.
... I dont want to end up lonely ... but at this rate, life is depressing.
- Yahweh: oh, come on, you know what you did ... and you have no good way to explain yourself ... much more than Dick Chaney, I hate you
- L. Ron Hubbard: in a world of idiots where the only chance of survival is to become more intelligent, you decided to make our people stupider ... I hope you get a thetin meter shoved up your ass
- Haphestus: come on ... ur a god ... with a limp ... and your wife cheated on you repeatedly. You are a horrible role-model
- and finally, Buddha: because I have yet to gain enlightenment, you selfish bastard
I try and try to fill the void in my life with work. I am now a week ahead of my math class by doing every homework problem in the book and still staying ahead of the class. While "Shaun of the Dead" was on, I wrote out a Cayley table for the Heisenberg Group in Z_2 space. I talked with my professor for 30 minutes trying to understand the third proof to how the lower pascal matrix, when postmultiplied by the upper pascal matrix equals the regular pascal matrix. Whenever I start to think about my lonliness, I pull out a pad of paper and start to do math ...
But its not working ... the stress is just building.
It is the stereotype that mathematicians go crazy ... yes, I am already so ... but I fear this may be making it worse. I just need to get through another 2.8 semesters of college ... then I can go to grad school ... and after that, I can get a job ... maybe then ... maybe after the prime of my life has passed by ... maybe then I can get a girlfriend.
... I dont want to end up lonely ... but at this rate, life is depressing.