Not my type of anniversary... T_T
Geez. I really have to post a new picture with my kuya. It's just that I love this one... with his cap and glasses, the trademarks of his wardrobe =)) It has been seven years since Marc passed away. Wala pang digicam nung 2001. Kung meron, well, I guess we didn't have that yet. It's one of those things I wish he was around to have experienced--the endless vain moments with a digital camera. I would have taken so many pictures...
It's September 23rd again, and the feeling remains the same. I've been missing him for seven whole years now, and it only seems to get worse. Every new experience brings with it a sting of nostalgia. Every little thing--Friendster, Facebook, blogging (I still wonder what his blog would look like, if he would even have one)--to as big as careers, updated dreams and hopes for the future. I always wonder how he would have fared in 2008. I even go as far as wondering if he could still narrate the US Financial Crisis to me as well as he could the Erap phenomenon in 1998. Or maybe I'd be the one telling him about it this time ;) I even wonder if he'd have gone with me to church. But I guess, knowing his spiritual stance, he might have just made pa-kuwneto when I got home and waited for pasalubong @_@
Sigh. Sometimes I ask myself if I'll ever stop missing him. Then I check myself--I guess I don't want to stop. I dunno. Sometimes I think missing him makes him more real, and not just a dream I had. What's that line I read from Breaking Dawn, I think: "If you think hard enough about the memories, they'll never disappear"... something like that. Sometimes I even draw his standard caricature of himself, alongside mine, daddy's and Martin's, which he created years back. Wala lang... family picture
Ang cute kasi niya, he looks like a cartoon on his own, I mean, look at this picture:
Diba? Heehee. I'm sorry marc, pinagtri-tripan ko pictures mo. =)) Sigh. I miss laughing with him. I miss talking to him. I miss hugging him. I miss the silly faces he does just because. I miss him so much.
I know where he is right now, and I know he's watching over me, my dad, my brother, and everyone else in our family. I know he's having a grand time up there, and that he misses us too, but believes just as much as I do that we'll all be together someday.
I just wish I'd stop feeling sad. I don't even know how to end this entry. I just knew I had to write it.
I miss you Marckie.
I really, really do...