the calm.
I sat here sobbing till I could hardly breathe this morning.
But now I feel much better then I did , I had some food and the sun came out a bit and I read everyones wonderful sweet replies and I felt better.
its amazing the way my bloodsugar levels can mess with my emotions.
I still feel unsure of my life, it comes from being sure (at age 12) that by the time I was 25 I'd have THE career, be married and be giving birth to my first child (lol) and here I am at 24 and I'm back living with my parents and I feel like a failure, and then I start doubting everything in my life... especially those I care about most because one of my worst fears is having everyone just decide they hate me.
I dont know if I'll ever feel 100% sure of myself, I mean I am 1/2 Irish and 1/2 English so I'm always fighting myself ;P lol.
but seriously I hope that one day I'll feel totally sure of the decisions I make.
But I do know that I fucking rock! I'm smart (in my own way) and I'm funny and I'm really fucking cute! I can sing, I can do art and I can be a good and loving friend.
(I can even balance a spoon on my nose)
well I'm off to visit with miss Jess to have some dinner and watch some crap tv!!
thank you to you all for caring about me and being here to remind me that even tho I might be having a nervous breakdown, there are people who love me.
But now I feel much better then I did , I had some food and the sun came out a bit and I read everyones wonderful sweet replies and I felt better.
its amazing the way my bloodsugar levels can mess with my emotions.
I still feel unsure of my life, it comes from being sure (at age 12) that by the time I was 25 I'd have THE career, be married and be giving birth to my first child (lol) and here I am at 24 and I'm back living with my parents and I feel like a failure, and then I start doubting everything in my life... especially those I care about most because one of my worst fears is having everyone just decide they hate me.
I dont know if I'll ever feel 100% sure of myself, I mean I am 1/2 Irish and 1/2 English so I'm always fighting myself ;P lol.
but seriously I hope that one day I'll feel totally sure of the decisions I make.
But I do know that I fucking rock! I'm smart (in my own way) and I'm funny and I'm really fucking cute! I can sing, I can do art and I can be a good and loving friend.
(I can even balance a spoon on my nose)
well I'm off to visit with miss Jess to have some dinner and watch some crap tv!!
thank you to you all for caring about me and being here to remind me that even tho I might be having a nervous breakdown, there are people who love me.