(no subject)

[katythestrange]

i have experienced far more than i would ever wish upon another person. and i am more aware than i ever hoped to be. there is a quote from a song i used to listen to with my dad that describes this perfectly. "choke me in the shallow waters before i get too deep." i think my voice has sang enough, my eyes have seen enough, and my hands are lonely and cold. i have a reason for living, now. but it isn't myself. i need to take care of someone else. the one person in this world who i truely understand. he reminds me of how i was and i would die to see him want to keep breathing.i remember when i wouldn't eat, and when drugs kept me alive and when i wouldn't say anything that desperately needed to be said. i don't remember him being there and i remember that making me punish myself. i didn't need to be alive if he wouldn't take care of me and love me. but long before that i vowed to love him unconditionally and to take care of him always. i will not break this. he means more to me than he will ever know.

"the walls around us will crumble and rise, crumble and rise, but we can stay together through all of that. i think we need to"