(no subject)
i feel alone. desperate, scared and alone. yesterday i spent time with Tim. i love him. i saw Andy. i love him. i'm so torn. so helpless and torn. i cannot stay with both of them. it hurts them. Karla wants Tim. i want her to be happy, but i need him too. i should die. everyone can figure out thier lives from there. i will never be happy. Andy and Tim are too much a part of me to let either one go. and i'm not the one to make that choice. i can't stand it when Tim isn't near me because he's the only one who understands me enough to calm me down and heal me. i hurt him so much by falling for Andy. i love and need Andy. he protects me and takes care of me. i'm not ready for this. having to choose. happy love, or forever love. and i know Tim will never be happy without Karla. but i will never be happy without Tim. i will never be happy again. screw all of this, if you people really loved me you would kill me and end this pain.