Writer's Block: Shops Gone By
Oh, God. Briley's Coffee. It was a local place, and it closed when my town got a friggen Starbucks. xP
I miss the adorable little ladybugs they put on top of the lids. My mom had one on her volume control in the station wagon; it's gone now, of course... I was really sad when she didn't salvage it when my parents went to take a look at the car after the wreck.
Now onto the regular post...
Jeremy called me earlier. He's actually still been calling every night since we broke up... I feel kinda weird talking to him every night. He's the only person that I've had a conversation with on consecutive nights for any length of time.
At school, he seems like he's fine. He's got a smile on his face. He's not just shutting himself away from everybody... But I know it's just an act. I know I hurt him really badly, and I know he desperately wishes we were still together. I think that it might be driving him to be super clingy like this, and I feel terrible about it... But on the other hand, I don't want to string him along and give him any ideas that I might change my mind anytime in the immediate future. Because I know I'm not going to change my mind, as much as it sucks being single again.. Especially after someone who was always so amazing to me.
I want to stay his friend... But I don't know how to cut him off just the /tiniest/ bit without pissing him off or making him feel worse. :/
...And while we're on the topic of boys, let me tell you about my weekend and the presence of Javed in it.
I've known Javed since middle school, but we never really talked to each other until recently. Christy and him have become really good friends, and we started talking to each other whenever the three of us (and often Travis and/or Kyle as well) hung out together. In the past couple of weeks, we've been talking a lot on MySpace. We've gotten to know each other better; Javed's a really interesting and fun guy to talk to. I enjoy talking to him because he's got such a different perspective on the world... And I think I can safely say we're pretty decent friends by now.
Well. I was talking to Kyle last week in tech theatre, and he said there's a good chance Javed likes me. He hasn't talked to either Travis or Javed about it, but Kyle's been one of his best friends for years. (Travis is, of course, the other one) And I trust his judgement on this: if Kyle thinks Javed probably likes me, then I think it's safe to give about a 95% chance that Javed likes me. And only to further suggest the validity of this point, Javed just about refused to let me pay for anything when we went out to lunch and to see Benjamin Button together yesterday. I had gotten twenty bucks from my parents to pay for my share of the day, even. And I didn't spend any of it.
Actual conversation we had while walking away from the ticket counter:
Me I could've bought my own ticket, y'know.
Javed I know. It's just easier to get both at once.
Me You really didn't have to, though.
Javed I don't have to do anything that I do. I just do what suits me.
I dunno what to do... Though seeing as Javed hasn't confessed his undying love for me or anything, it's quite possible that Kyle and I are just being completely paranoid and reading way too much into things... :P
And on a different, though related, note:
Since when am I so liked by guys? I honestly don't understand it.
I'm not always the nicest person to be around. I'm damn indecisive and often rather wishy-washy. I still don't think I'm all that attractive, though I do feel lots better about my looks these days than I used to. I just don't get why guys are into me.
If someone could explain it to me, I will be forever grateful.
OHHHH, and Bailey - you must go see Benjamin Button at some point. It was excellent; you will love it. :)
I miss the adorable little ladybugs they put on top of the lids. My mom had one on her volume control in the station wagon; it's gone now, of course... I was really sad when she didn't salvage it when my parents went to take a look at the car after the wreck.
Now onto the regular post...
Jeremy called me earlier. He's actually still been calling every night since we broke up... I feel kinda weird talking to him every night. He's the only person that I've had a conversation with on consecutive nights for any length of time.
At school, he seems like he's fine. He's got a smile on his face. He's not just shutting himself away from everybody... But I know it's just an act. I know I hurt him really badly, and I know he desperately wishes we were still together. I think that it might be driving him to be super clingy like this, and I feel terrible about it... But on the other hand, I don't want to string him along and give him any ideas that I might change my mind anytime in the immediate future. Because I know I'm not going to change my mind, as much as it sucks being single again.. Especially after someone who was always so amazing to me.
I want to stay his friend... But I don't know how to cut him off just the /tiniest/ bit without pissing him off or making him feel worse. :/
...And while we're on the topic of boys, let me tell you about my weekend and the presence of Javed in it.
I've known Javed since middle school, but we never really talked to each other until recently. Christy and him have become really good friends, and we started talking to each other whenever the three of us (and often Travis and/or Kyle as well) hung out together. In the past couple of weeks, we've been talking a lot on MySpace. We've gotten to know each other better; Javed's a really interesting and fun guy to talk to. I enjoy talking to him because he's got such a different perspective on the world... And I think I can safely say we're pretty decent friends by now.
Well. I was talking to Kyle last week in tech theatre, and he said there's a good chance Javed likes me. He hasn't talked to either Travis or Javed about it, but Kyle's been one of his best friends for years. (Travis is, of course, the other one) And I trust his judgement on this: if Kyle thinks Javed probably likes me, then I think it's safe to give about a 95% chance that Javed likes me. And only to further suggest the validity of this point, Javed just about refused to let me pay for anything when we went out to lunch and to see Benjamin Button together yesterday. I had gotten twenty bucks from my parents to pay for my share of the day, even. And I didn't spend any of it.
Actual conversation we had while walking away from the ticket counter:
Me I could've bought my own ticket, y'know.
Javed I know. It's just easier to get both at once.
Me You really didn't have to, though.
Javed I don't have to do anything that I do. I just do what suits me.
I dunno what to do... Though seeing as Javed hasn't confessed his undying love for me or anything, it's quite possible that Kyle and I are just being completely paranoid and reading way too much into things... :P
And on a different, though related, note:
Since when am I so liked by guys? I honestly don't understand it.
I'm not always the nicest person to be around. I'm damn indecisive and often rather wishy-washy. I still don't think I'm all that attractive, though I do feel lots better about my looks these days than I used to. I just don't get why guys are into me.
If someone could explain it to me, I will be forever grateful.
OHHHH, and Bailey - you must go see Benjamin Button at some point. It was excellent; you will love it. :)