It's been a while.
It would be lovely to say I don't care about you any more, but I can never truthfully say that. It would be a blatant lie.
What have I been up to since I last updated? My teacher decided that it was time for a character building game. He had us make a list of how we see ourselves. You had to list as many qualities that described you as possible, like-nice, compassionate, weak, ditzy, creative. Then, in another paragraph you made a list of all of the things you had to be, like-neat, stronger, sympathetic. After a few minutes devoted to list-making, he called us up one by one and asked us to read our lists to everyone. After this he told the rest of the class to honestly write down what we thought of our classmate, but to, please, try not too be too harsh. Then, he allowed the students to share their opinions of this person. Then the teacher told you what he thought of you.
It usually tended to happen like this-the kid would get up, read their lists, and be modestly surprised of how everyone else perceived them, then the teacher would give them one nice opinion and usually one mean one, like, "Well, I think you're selfless, but weak."
When it was my turn everyone seemed to have the same opinion of me, smart, outgoing, funny, nice, happy. The teacher said that if he had to words to describe me they would be smart and insecure.
Well, that blew my mind. I've never considered myself to be insecure, but after that day I began to mull over what was said in that class. After a few hours, it all started to fit together, like pieces of a puzzle. Maybe that's why I'm so hesitant with other people touching me? Anyways, I've had a lot of major self-evaluations this week. Maybe this will cause a dramatic change in my character. We'll have to see.