(no subject)
Today has been one of those days...at least the last half of it has. It's one of those days where you feel particularly lonely yet you want to be by yourself. It's strange really. I desired the company yet when I get it I just want to be left alone. Maybe it's just the thought of knowing that it is there that is comforting. My dad keeps talking to me and I just want him to go do whatever it is that he does yet I still want him around. I don't know. I guess I'm not making much sense.
I'm going on a trip on Monday. I'm going to Panama with some seniors. I'm actually not too excited just because I'm the youngest and really the only person who wanted me to come was Austin. I'm a bit selfconcious sometimes. I guess this is one of those times. I'm afraid I'm really not going to fit in with them. I had these feelings when I was little. I use to go camping and the only kids that would go were older than me and I could tell they didn't want to hang out with me since I was younger. So I stayed out of their way really. I have a fear of making others unhappy with my presence. I never wanted to me that annoying kid that followed people around. And now once again that fear is popping up because I'm staying with the Senior Girls. Not that that is a bad thing because they are all sweet and wonderful. I'm just nervous because they didn't really invite me. Austin did. I guess I will just have to get over it won't I. I'm such a freakin' pansey.
SATs tomorrow. Nervous as hell. Yep Hell is very nervous. I'm gonna try to get a good night's sleep.
Something just feels off this evening. Not sure what it is. Oh well.
I'm going on a trip on Monday. I'm going to Panama with some seniors. I'm actually not too excited just because I'm the youngest and really the only person who wanted me to come was Austin. I'm a bit selfconcious sometimes. I guess this is one of those times. I'm afraid I'm really not going to fit in with them. I had these feelings when I was little. I use to go camping and the only kids that would go were older than me and I could tell they didn't want to hang out with me since I was younger. So I stayed out of their way really. I have a fear of making others unhappy with my presence. I never wanted to me that annoying kid that followed people around. And now once again that fear is popping up because I'm staying with the Senior Girls. Not that that is a bad thing because they are all sweet and wonderful. I'm just nervous because they didn't really invite me. Austin did. I guess I will just have to get over it won't I. I'm such a freakin' pansey.
SATs tomorrow. Nervous as hell. Yep Hell is very nervous. I'm gonna try to get a good night's sleep.
Something just feels off this evening. Not sure what it is. Oh well.