a new chapter, a new book.
Goodbyes are never easy. Today was my last day working at Loyola School. The staff got together and signed a shirt for me, gave me flowers, and a bunch of cards. Oh and I got homemade cookies which I already gobbled up. :) The kindergarteners gave me lots of hugs and sang "I like you there's no doubt about it..." and the first, second, and third graders gave me sad faces when I said my goodbyes. I loved working there. I loved the staff, the parents, the joy and proudness when saying I worked at an elementary school. But mostly I loved seeing my little kinders get bigger as the years went by. Nothing made me happier than hearing "HI MISS BLUE!" shouted across the hallways. I loved being called Miss Blue!!
I know I will be missed, but I'll miss them even more. I've vowed to visit from time to time, I still consider myself a part of the Loyola community and nowadays community is a hard thing to find. So I said goodbye to a second family, a built in support system of friends and mentors who helped me figure out my path towards happiness.
I am forever gratefull for my 3 years spent learning everything possible about school aged children and the way they learn. I often told the kindergarten teacher I worked with that I felt like her personal apprentice, and it's true. Most of what I'm learning during my night classes are things I've already been doing over these years under the guidence of one of the best teachers I know.
And the worst part? The very worst part about the ending of this chapter of my life?
It means another chapter is closed...it looks like I won't be returning to my beloved Camp Galileo this summer.
I had been hoping to assume a Camp Director position, but after round 4 of the interview process I was DENIED! Heart breaking. I took the news well, realizing that what's meant to be will be, and although it makes me sad, at the same time this is clearly a whole new book in my life when I should be moving in a different direction.
And maybe this new book isn't so much about Working in the Educational Field.
Maybe the new genre is Parenting!
The money I recieved as compensation for donating my eggs has been sitting pretty in our very own "baby fund" and by the looks of things, we should be on our way into the world of trying to conceive very soon! We've crossed the first big hurdle, and decided that I will attempt to get pregnant first. Logically everyone agrees that Pam should go first, being older and all. Pam's often said she's ok with me going first, but then I worried about the guilt I would feel if later she couldn't conceive because we waited too long. But I have such a stronger desire, a real ache to carry a child, and knowing myself as well as I do, I know that watching Pam be pregnant would cause awful envy and even MORE guilt. And so with the help of a fertility therapist, she helped us figure out that it was clear that my emotional needs should come first. With that came my realization that Pam is truly OK with that, and by not trusting her feelings I was making the problem bigger than it had to be.
Me? Make something minor into a big issue?! When we left Pam jokingly asked, "So did we really need to spend money to figure that all out?" lol. And the answer is yes. I needed that professional validaton that I'm not being selfish.
So we've started charting our ovulation, waking up and taking our temperature each morning and lots of other fun stuff that I don't need to go into detail about! Soon I'll have a seperate blog up about our new journey.
And now what?
The ending of 2 different jobs that made me happy. The start of a new job at a nearby preschool that I assume I will to grow to love. And more importantly, the begining of something really exciting...the realization that my dreams might come true sooner than I ever imagined!
Not such a bad trade off in the grand scheme of things.
I know I will be missed, but I'll miss them even more. I've vowed to visit from time to time, I still consider myself a part of the Loyola community and nowadays community is a hard thing to find. So I said goodbye to a second family, a built in support system of friends and mentors who helped me figure out my path towards happiness.
I am forever gratefull for my 3 years spent learning everything possible about school aged children and the way they learn. I often told the kindergarten teacher I worked with that I felt like her personal apprentice, and it's true. Most of what I'm learning during my night classes are things I've already been doing over these years under the guidence of one of the best teachers I know.
And the worst part? The very worst part about the ending of this chapter of my life?
It means another chapter is closed...it looks like I won't be returning to my beloved Camp Galileo this summer.
I had been hoping to assume a Camp Director position, but after round 4 of the interview process I was DENIED! Heart breaking. I took the news well, realizing that what's meant to be will be, and although it makes me sad, at the same time this is clearly a whole new book in my life when I should be moving in a different direction.
And maybe this new book isn't so much about Working in the Educational Field.
Maybe the new genre is Parenting!
The money I recieved as compensation for donating my eggs has been sitting pretty in our very own "baby fund" and by the looks of things, we should be on our way into the world of trying to conceive very soon! We've crossed the first big hurdle, and decided that I will attempt to get pregnant first. Logically everyone agrees that Pam should go first, being older and all. Pam's often said she's ok with me going first, but then I worried about the guilt I would feel if later she couldn't conceive because we waited too long. But I have such a stronger desire, a real ache to carry a child, and knowing myself as well as I do, I know that watching Pam be pregnant would cause awful envy and even MORE guilt. And so with the help of a fertility therapist, she helped us figure out that it was clear that my emotional needs should come first. With that came my realization that Pam is truly OK with that, and by not trusting her feelings I was making the problem bigger than it had to be.
Me? Make something minor into a big issue?! When we left Pam jokingly asked, "So did we really need to spend money to figure that all out?" lol. And the answer is yes. I needed that professional validaton that I'm not being selfish.
So we've started charting our ovulation, waking up and taking our temperature each morning and lots of other fun stuff that I don't need to go into detail about! Soon I'll have a seperate blog up about our new journey.
And now what?
The ending of 2 different jobs that made me happy. The start of a new job at a nearby preschool that I assume I will to grow to love. And more importantly, the begining of something really exciting...the realization that my dreams might come true sooner than I ever imagined!
Not such a bad trade off in the grand scheme of things.