hmm
wala lang i dont know what to say.. but i feel like typing something.. i know i have something to let out.. but i dont know if i should because i dont want my life to be an open book anymore. i mean for other people to be reading about my life but ewan i need help eh.
i am the ultimate meantime girl.
seryoso. ewan they say im not but i know i am. meantime girl meaning, im the girl before and after a relationship. im the girl that is turned to and left for. im the one not taken seriously. im the girl who invests her feelings and in the end is heartbroken. so i made a rule for myself. i am not going to fall. no matter who the person is, no matter how much i've gone through with him, no matter how much the good times mean, i am not going to fall in love with another guy. not right now, not when there is no one serious enough for me. not when the guy is only sweet when drunk. but im contented with that right now. i mean, at least i dont have any hung ups right? no love problems nothing to worry about.
but what happens when you break the pattern and your relationship goes up a notch? when it goes beyond the drunken nights. when you actually start talking and you later realise that there could be something more to this. that's wrong right?
because i cant break the rules. i cant look beyond. i cant expect. i cant fall.
i'm just a meantime girl after all.