Final Stretch....oh wait that's everyone else but me. Damn you quarter system.
These past two weeks have been eventual/non-eventful. I still find myself grappling with the student work guilt. Me feeling guilty to the part of me that is NOT resigned to staying home a Saturday night alone while working on whatever-it-is-I-have-due. I suppose the adult thing would be for me to admit to myself that I am no longer a student, that this is indeed my job. It is my job to read all of these double-sided pages, and to freakin' graduate with some sort of pithy piece of work.
But instead of doing this, I rebel as lamely as I can (as most of my friends are students, and equally bound by lameness) and participate in strange nesting behaviors such as making flour tortillas from scratch (it was a no-go, too much shortening DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!) or completely rearranging my room and viciously attacking the mutant dust bunnies under my bed.
Non-shut-in related behavior and weekly punctuations included but not limited to:
-My car still running although with the nifty side-effect of random people looking at me with scornful glances at my loud ass clunky car
-My Grandma's check to fix said car in the mail (WEEEEEE!)
-The friendly yet morbidly curious glances of strangers as they watched a 26 year old woman embarrass herself as she tries to re-learn how to ride a bike (YES, IT'S ME, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO RIDE A FRIGGIN BIKE ANYMORE, GET OFF MY CASE)
-Having Dottie try to push me like a five year old on the bike only to have me steer the thing into a parked car, fall and seriously cut myself on the spokes.
-Going to the Stranger Gong Show and watching two crazy dudes almost drown themselves in a fish tank/ eat cereal and milk out from their own congenital chest cavity. (OH MY GOD, IT'S NOT WORTH IT! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!)
-Hearing a drunk Lindy West (columnist for the Stranger) in all of her belligerent glory (see below)
-Having Mother's Day brunch with the Cap Hill Gays. (God I love these people, they are what I imagine women to be like, if we weren't all hung up on judging ourselves and others).
That's it. Seriously though, that Gong skit was the craziest shit I've seen in ages. It still gives me the heebie jeebies. Oh, and Star Trek rocked but I think most people have said that. And now some Lindy....
I Would Like to Apologize for My Behavior
Posted by Lindy West on Sat, May 9, 2009 at 7:05 PM
Hello. Um. Yes. Apparently, at some point during last night's Gong Show an evil sprite named "gin" whispered in my ear the following words: SOMEBODY HAS TO BE THE MEAN JUDGE.
I would like to apologize for being the mean judge. I would also like to apologize if I told you juggling was boring, said that your original song was "older than the time my grandma fell off her dinosaur and broke her wooden underwear," yelled at you until you cried, grabbed you by the face and shook your head back and forth in a frenzy, or otherwise emotionally destroyed you in any way. That was out of line.
But oh my GOD, it's fun to be the mean judge.
P.S. And to the Different Kinds of Jugglers that There Are, especially, your juggling was very lovely. E-mail me and I will give you a present.
P.P.S. If it makes anyone feel better, karma caused me to lose my phone somewhere in the melee. Has anyone seen my phone? I really need it.
But instead of doing this, I rebel as lamely as I can (as most of my friends are students, and equally bound by lameness) and participate in strange nesting behaviors such as making flour tortillas from scratch (it was a no-go, too much shortening DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!) or completely rearranging my room and viciously attacking the mutant dust bunnies under my bed.
Non-shut-in related behavior and weekly punctuations included but not limited to:
-My car still running although with the nifty side-effect of random people looking at me with scornful glances at my loud ass clunky car
-My Grandma's check to fix said car in the mail (WEEEEEE!)
-The friendly yet morbidly curious glances of strangers as they watched a 26 year old woman embarrass herself as she tries to re-learn how to ride a bike (YES, IT'S ME, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO RIDE A FRIGGIN BIKE ANYMORE, GET OFF MY CASE)
-Having Dottie try to push me like a five year old on the bike only to have me steer the thing into a parked car, fall and seriously cut myself on the spokes.
-Going to the Stranger Gong Show and watching two crazy dudes almost drown themselves in a fish tank/ eat cereal and milk out from their own congenital chest cavity. (OH MY GOD, IT'S NOT WORTH IT! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!)
-Hearing a drunk Lindy West (columnist for the Stranger) in all of her belligerent glory (see below)
-Having Mother's Day brunch with the Cap Hill Gays. (God I love these people, they are what I imagine women to be like, if we weren't all hung up on judging ourselves and others).
That's it. Seriously though, that Gong skit was the craziest shit I've seen in ages. It still gives me the heebie jeebies. Oh, and Star Trek rocked but I think most people have said that. And now some Lindy....
I Would Like to Apologize for My Behavior
Posted by Lindy West on Sat, May 9, 2009 at 7:05 PM
Hello. Um. Yes. Apparently, at some point during last night's Gong Show an evil sprite named "gin" whispered in my ear the following words: SOMEBODY HAS TO BE THE MEAN JUDGE.
I would like to apologize for being the mean judge. I would also like to apologize if I told you juggling was boring, said that your original song was "older than the time my grandma fell off her dinosaur and broke her wooden underwear," yelled at you until you cried, grabbed you by the face and shook your head back and forth in a frenzy, or otherwise emotionally destroyed you in any way. That was out of line.
But oh my GOD, it's fun to be the mean judge.
P.S. And to the Different Kinds of Jugglers that There Are, especially, your juggling was very lovely. E-mail me and I will give you a present.
P.P.S. If it makes anyone feel better, karma caused me to lose my phone somewhere in the melee. Has anyone seen my phone? I really need it.