This one's good. It has like, four different fandoms in it, with a side of metafuck.
So, post apocalyptic dream, yeah? Everything's gone to le shit, human population took a nosedive. Wonder Woman and two other Amazons have a plan though. Hidden somewhere in this high-tech vault thing in stasis are three baby girls, each the daughter of a different Greek goddess. The babies are prophesied to fix all the shit that men broke, but raising one baby in a post apocalyptic wasteland is hard enough so they make the hard decision to only raise the daughter of Hera. The three Amazons go to this evil Amazon/ancient Greek witch/whatever, may have been Circe or Medusa, and try to trade what little they have for food to feed the baby. Let's call her Circe figures out what the Amazons are up to right away and turns out to actually be on their side, sort of. She has no love for mortal man and his fuckups, and figures that if this crazy plan works then women will be in charge. So she gives them a good deal and Diana sets out to fetch the baby. She climbs this mountain and sneaks into this sci-fi vault with security lasers and such, only to discover that the three babies have joined together into this sort of uber-female-Greek-Jesus.
And that's when Starfleet shows up. See, the men of Starfleet are one of the bigger groups of surviving humans, and somehow they've gotten wind of the Amazons' plan and for whatever reason don't like it. So Captain Pike shows up in this airship thing, and it's very like something out of a Ghibli movie, sort of cobbled-together high/low tech flying machines. And there's this fight, Diana trying to get the baby out and getting shot at and shooting back in return, and she's almost got out. But then Jim Kirk shows up on this flying windsurfer thing and she shoots him out of the air, but just before she does so he fires off a homing missile. Diana and the baby crash in the wasteland near a river and Diana dies, leaving the baby to perish.
BUT THEN TINTIN SHOWS UP. He's rafting down the river on his raft, surviving the apocalypse, when he hears the baby crying and investigates. And he's all hey, dead woman, baby, well then. He has no idea who the baby is, but that doesn't matter, he's going to try and raise this baby because it's the right thing to do. So he takes the baby and goes back rafting down the river, and somewhere along the line he realizes that this is a Very Special Feminist Greek Jesus baby.
But then he meets up with this other rafter rafting down the river, and he knows that this dude's no good. So he tries to hide who the baby is, but the guy figures it out pretty quickly. But it's like with Circe, this dream has a reoccurring motif of apocalypse turning black and white into grey areas, and the bad dude is like eh, whatever. So Tintin and this guy just raft down the river together for a bit jabbering about old times because apparently Tintin knows this guy because he's his older half brother who was a criminal pre-apocalypse and their mother was an actress. This is my new headcanon.
And then the dream goes into flashback mode of how Tintin ended up rafting down the river alone and I'm going yes I want to know what happened give me the angst, and then just as I'm getting to the good part I wake up enough for the dream to stop and I'm all "GOD DAMN IT SON OF A BITCH WHAT ABOUT SNOWY AND THE CAPTAIN??!!!"
Then I roll back over and fall back asleep, and next I know I'm dreaming that I'm in class and I'm watching my dream on my laptop and showing it to my classmates??? Only it's missing the part where Wonder Woman and Co. are trading with Circe so I explain that that happened, and then I get to the flashback and the video ends and one of my classmates is all, "But what happens next?" and I'm like, "I KNOW RIGHT??!!!"
That is the worst part about dreams. The fucking cliffhangers. I'm getting worked up just thinking about it.
And that's when Starfleet shows up. See, the men of Starfleet are one of the bigger groups of surviving humans, and somehow they've gotten wind of the Amazons' plan and for whatever reason don't like it. So Captain Pike shows up in this airship thing, and it's very like something out of a Ghibli movie, sort of cobbled-together high/low tech flying machines. And there's this fight, Diana trying to get the baby out and getting shot at and shooting back in return, and she's almost got out. But then Jim Kirk shows up on this flying windsurfer thing and she shoots him out of the air, but just before she does so he fires off a homing missile. Diana and the baby crash in the wasteland near a river and Diana dies, leaving the baby to perish.
BUT THEN TINTIN SHOWS UP. He's rafting down the river on his raft, surviving the apocalypse, when he hears the baby crying and investigates. And he's all hey, dead woman, baby, well then. He has no idea who the baby is, but that doesn't matter, he's going to try and raise this baby because it's the right thing to do. So he takes the baby and goes back rafting down the river, and somewhere along the line he realizes that this is a Very Special Feminist Greek Jesus baby.
But then he meets up with this other rafter rafting down the river, and he knows that this dude's no good. So he tries to hide who the baby is, but the guy figures it out pretty quickly. But it's like with Circe, this dream has a reoccurring motif of apocalypse turning black and white into grey areas, and the bad dude is like eh, whatever. So Tintin and this guy just raft down the river together for a bit jabbering about old times because apparently Tintin knows this guy because he's his older half brother who was a criminal pre-apocalypse and their mother was an actress. This is my new headcanon.
And then the dream goes into flashback mode of how Tintin ended up rafting down the river alone and I'm going yes I want to know what happened give me the angst, and then just as I'm getting to the good part I wake up enough for the dream to stop and I'm all "GOD DAMN IT SON OF A BITCH WHAT ABOUT SNOWY AND THE CAPTAIN??!!!"
Then I roll back over and fall back asleep, and next I know I'm dreaming that I'm in class and I'm watching my dream on my laptop and showing it to my classmates??? Only it's missing the part where Wonder Woman and Co. are trading with Circe so I explain that that happened, and then I get to the flashback and the video ends and one of my classmates is all, "But what happens next?" and I'm like, "I KNOW RIGHT??!!!"
That is the worst part about dreams. The fucking cliffhangers. I'm getting worked up just thinking about it.