Room Mate, Syro-Foam Attack, Love Theory
My room mate moved the majority of her things in today. Her and I had a little discussion about nonchalant things such as our fathers (her's is in prison...which, if you know my father, is not exactly great for me); how she wants to be an actress and how I want to be a director, executive producer, and an actress; and how she was shocked by everything that I have to do. She said that she could never live with my schedule. We are going to rearrange my side of the room so she can have more room on her side.
Don't think that I am going to open up more to her though. I did learn some really cool things though. She is into video games (she actually has a Nintendo system & plays Tetris when she is stressed and occasionally Mario Bros), she doesn't like chick-flics, she doesn't like reality shows, she doesn't like any of the cute white guys in the media (she prefers black men and doesn't like Justin Timberlake). She is working on a novel based off of her life. I heard thunder just now.
I feel sort of suffocated and a little depressed even though we had some fun talking to one another and she has been gone for a few hours. One of her friends came by at least twice trying to look for her, but I told her that I didn't know where she was. My room mate and her other friend told me that they were going to use some of my "Random Thoughts" as screen names! I was quite glad about that. We will see how long she can put up with me though. How long she can go without yelling at me. Maybe she will become famous and go on the road or something. She thinks that she will become famous before graduation.
I feel like I'm going nowhere in life. I haven't made a movie yet. I want to enter Sundance so badly! I want to show that I have talent! Not to mention that my daydreams have died down since she's moved in here. I feel as though I can not depend on my daydream love to give me satisfaction (don't be dirty now). Everytime I think about daydreaming of him, I become depressed and realize that he is not real. That it will never be real. He doesn't even know that I exist. He hasn't even wrote back to my fan letter.
I feel so trapped and suffocated. I really want to be part of the media and bring my ideas to life. I really want to represent a voice in the world that has been lost. I want to be the one who proves that sex isn't the only thing that sells. I want to be famous and bring joy to the world and inspire (not in that order necessarily. It's moments like these when I feel that I don't know what my purpose is. I feel that my fate may be failure even though I have seen myself succeed through the odds (with a lot of failures along the way). It's raining, I love the rain.
I feel so creative. I feel like writing songs and poetry and being philosophical. One theory that I have worked on is that a lot of people that fall in love romantically are not worthy of it. I know it sounds cold, but it could be my green eyes activating. "Am I too lost, to be saved"--Tourniquet Evanescence. I mean, my ex-boyfriend had another girlfriend to cheat on me with. My room mate ended up with a boyfriend (even though she said that she didn't want one). My new room mate, who seems awesome so far, talks about how she has a boyfriend and how she has a guy that she wants to date instead. My evil twin has a fiancee. I love the rain and thunder. It drives my creativity and I can become absorbed in the feelings of the rain and thunder. It would be cool to be out there and do a troubled, gothic superhero scene.
I guess that my theory does have some reasoning behind it. Think of it, the strong survive right? I guess their strength against me arouses others. "Don't say I'm out of touch, with this rapant chaos, your reality, I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge, the nightmare I built my own world to escape"--Imaginary Evanescence. You have to be strong to be aggressive. To build a strong race, you need strong people. I try to be strong, but sometimes I don't feel that people notice. I thank God that He assists me (depending if you believe in him or not, either way I'm not a zealous Christian nor will I tell you to worship him...worship however you want).
This emotion comes from the recent events that have stressed me out. It pushes up the idea of escape. I can't escape my life. There is one way, but I don't want to die. I must continue my battle and hope to make it worth living and remembering more than my daydreams. Man, I really could use a guy right now. I could use someone to love me and cherish me and tell me that life will be fine. Yeah, I'm a tomboy, but I am also female...and I can't really do too much to help that.
"I believe in you
I'll give up everything just to find you
I have to be with you to live to breathe
You're taking over me."--"Taking Over Me" Evanescence
To end on a positive note, I went to a building far from work to unload over 300 laptops. I held the bag while everyone threw syro-foam in it. A lot of it missed me and I had my boss and a few other people hit me with it. My boss, actually joking around, said that I was going to have nightmares about people throwing syro-foam at me. I told him that it should count as a proficiency. He told me that it would be an interesting proficiency. He said that he would fail it though. LOL.
Don't think that I am going to open up more to her though. I did learn some really cool things though. She is into video games (she actually has a Nintendo system & plays Tetris when she is stressed and occasionally Mario Bros), she doesn't like chick-flics, she doesn't like reality shows, she doesn't like any of the cute white guys in the media (she prefers black men and doesn't like Justin Timberlake). She is working on a novel based off of her life. I heard thunder just now.
I feel sort of suffocated and a little depressed even though we had some fun talking to one another and she has been gone for a few hours. One of her friends came by at least twice trying to look for her, but I told her that I didn't know where she was. My room mate and her other friend told me that they were going to use some of my "Random Thoughts" as screen names! I was quite glad about that. We will see how long she can put up with me though. How long she can go without yelling at me. Maybe she will become famous and go on the road or something. She thinks that she will become famous before graduation.
I feel like I'm going nowhere in life. I haven't made a movie yet. I want to enter Sundance so badly! I want to show that I have talent! Not to mention that my daydreams have died down since she's moved in here. I feel as though I can not depend on my daydream love to give me satisfaction (don't be dirty now). Everytime I think about daydreaming of him, I become depressed and realize that he is not real. That it will never be real. He doesn't even know that I exist. He hasn't even wrote back to my fan letter.
I feel so trapped and suffocated. I really want to be part of the media and bring my ideas to life. I really want to represent a voice in the world that has been lost. I want to be the one who proves that sex isn't the only thing that sells. I want to be famous and bring joy to the world and inspire (not in that order necessarily. It's moments like these when I feel that I don't know what my purpose is. I feel that my fate may be failure even though I have seen myself succeed through the odds (with a lot of failures along the way). It's raining, I love the rain.
I feel so creative. I feel like writing songs and poetry and being philosophical. One theory that I have worked on is that a lot of people that fall in love romantically are not worthy of it. I know it sounds cold, but it could be my green eyes activating. "Am I too lost, to be saved"--Tourniquet Evanescence. I mean, my ex-boyfriend had another girlfriend to cheat on me with. My room mate ended up with a boyfriend (even though she said that she didn't want one). My new room mate, who seems awesome so far, talks about how she has a boyfriend and how she has a guy that she wants to date instead. My evil twin has a fiancee. I love the rain and thunder. It drives my creativity and I can become absorbed in the feelings of the rain and thunder. It would be cool to be out there and do a troubled, gothic superhero scene.
I guess that my theory does have some reasoning behind it. Think of it, the strong survive right? I guess their strength against me arouses others. "Don't say I'm out of touch, with this rapant chaos, your reality, I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge, the nightmare I built my own world to escape"--Imaginary Evanescence. You have to be strong to be aggressive. To build a strong race, you need strong people. I try to be strong, but sometimes I don't feel that people notice. I thank God that He assists me (depending if you believe in him or not, either way I'm not a zealous Christian nor will I tell you to worship him...worship however you want).
This emotion comes from the recent events that have stressed me out. It pushes up the idea of escape. I can't escape my life. There is one way, but I don't want to die. I must continue my battle and hope to make it worth living and remembering more than my daydreams. Man, I really could use a guy right now. I could use someone to love me and cherish me and tell me that life will be fine. Yeah, I'm a tomboy, but I am also female...and I can't really do too much to help that.
"I believe in you
I'll give up everything just to find you
I have to be with you to live to breathe
You're taking over me."--"Taking Over Me" Evanescence
To end on a positive note, I went to a building far from work to unload over 300 laptops. I held the bag while everyone threw syro-foam in it. A lot of it missed me and I had my boss and a few other people hit me with it. My boss, actually joking around, said that I was going to have nightmares about people throwing syro-foam at me. I told him that it should count as a proficiency. He told me that it would be an interesting proficiency. He said that he would fail it though. LOL.