Can you feel it? karada juu de kanjiru music
Okay, time to talk about my love feelings! It's been 4 years since the last time I fell in love with someone and it was an unrequited love. I am not good with guys so most of my crushes were one-sided. So, I'm scared of being in love because I don't want to be hurt or live a one-sided love again because I know I won't never be able to make someone fall in love with me: I'm too shy, I'm introverted, I have different tastes from the ones around me, I'm perverted and I'm different in general.
But lately something is happening and I don't know how to deal with it. I had a dream two nights ago: I met a guy and we, like, started dating or maybe we were almost dating. He took me at his place and there were just the two of us. He had a shower and I decided I wanted to cook, but he said he wanted to, so I let it be. He had his shower and I helped him putting on his tee (he had greaat abs, really!) and then I hugged him.
Suddenly his mum said lunch was ready (weren't we alone? My dreams are totally fucked up!) and I met his mum and brothers (or maybe sisters... I can't remember very well) and they liked me. Good to hear... usually elders love me... Why it's not like that with people around my age too?
But anyway, his mum baked a huuuuuuge cake (maybe this is because my sister and me talked about wanting a cake during the day ahah) and we ate it. Then I spent some time with my boyfriend or soon-to-be boyfriend doing cheesy things like hugging, holding hands of kissing (but just on the cheek.. That's why I don't know if we were actually dating). Then I woke up.
Last night, the dream coninued!
So, this guy turned into ONE OF MY CLASSMATES! To be exact my other class president (in my school we use to hve to class presidents. I'm one and this guy is the other). It was my birthday (it's approaching! Just two days left t the fifth of december!) and we were finally dating, we never kissed. I didn't want to kiss him first. I'm a girl after all, no? As one I want the guy to make the first move and kiss me. So kiss me already! Anyway I had a birthday party at my place with my bf and some of my friends. My boyfriend and me were on my bed and my friends sitting around my room and we were talking about the two of us dating and the fact we never kissed or things like that. At one time one of my friends asks if my bf gave me a present and he answered that he did and he handed it to me (I can't remember what was it sorry ahah). I hugged him and pecked on his lips, then he became a mass of cuteness going all shy about it and bragging that I kissed him. Then I can't remember anything more.
But since when I woke up I have this strange feeling inside of me and I feel something different for this guy, but I don't think it's love... Maybe I'm feeling closer to him, or I care more about him, I don't understand. Maybe it's because he's the only guy in the class who talks to me normally... Or even talks to me! (new class... Guys who either are too shy with me or don't give a fuck about me being in the class) I just hope I'll understand it asap before I go crazy! Surely I don't want to know if he has a girlfriend already because if I eventually fall in love with him I wouldn't stand even a chance!
I'll surely update you when I'll understand something more.
Meow! *licks*
But lately something is happening and I don't know how to deal with it. I had a dream two nights ago: I met a guy and we, like, started dating or maybe we were almost dating. He took me at his place and there were just the two of us. He had a shower and I decided I wanted to cook, but he said he wanted to, so I let it be. He had his shower and I helped him putting on his tee (he had greaat abs, really!) and then I hugged him.
Suddenly his mum said lunch was ready (weren't we alone? My dreams are totally fucked up!) and I met his mum and brothers (or maybe sisters... I can't remember very well) and they liked me. Good to hear... usually elders love me... Why it's not like that with people around my age too?
But anyway, his mum baked a huuuuuuge cake (maybe this is because my sister and me talked about wanting a cake during the day ahah) and we ate it. Then I spent some time with my boyfriend or soon-to-be boyfriend doing cheesy things like hugging, holding hands of kissing (but just on the cheek.. That's why I don't know if we were actually dating). Then I woke up.
Last night, the dream coninued!
So, this guy turned into ONE OF MY CLASSMATES! To be exact my other class president (in my school we use to hve to class presidents. I'm one and this guy is the other). It was my birthday (it's approaching! Just two days left t the fifth of december!) and we were finally dating, we never kissed. I didn't want to kiss him first. I'm a girl after all, no? As one I want the guy to make the first move and kiss me. So kiss me already! Anyway I had a birthday party at my place with my bf and some of my friends. My boyfriend and me were on my bed and my friends sitting around my room and we were talking about the two of us dating and the fact we never kissed or things like that. At one time one of my friends asks if my bf gave me a present and he answered that he did and he handed it to me (I can't remember what was it sorry ahah). I hugged him and pecked on his lips, then he became a mass of cuteness going all shy about it and bragging that I kissed him. Then I can't remember anything more.
But since when I woke up I have this strange feeling inside of me and I feel something different for this guy, but I don't think it's love... Maybe I'm feeling closer to him, or I care more about him, I don't understand. Maybe it's because he's the only guy in the class who talks to me normally... Or even talks to me! (new class... Guys who either are too shy with me or don't give a fuck about me being in the class) I just hope I'll understand it asap before I go crazy! Surely I don't want to know if he has a girlfriend already because if I eventually fall in love with him I wouldn't stand even a chance!
I'll surely update you when I'll understand something more.
Meow! *licks*