ugly Swedes picspam
A couple of you pointed out that while my Swedes of colour picspam dealt with the stereotype that all Swedes are blond, it reinforced the stereotype that all Swedes are gorgeous. So I promised a picspam of ugly Swedes, and here it is. I've had lots of help from axa and additional help from C, though the discussion with C. derailed because she has no taste and thinks I'm the only one in the world who could possibly be in love with Megan Follows as Anne of Green Gables, which we all know is untrue. :-)
Anyway. Picspam. This is in no way a judgement on the people included. Some of them are perfectly lovely in all other respects. They may even be among my favourite people in the world. They're just not that pretty. *g* (Others, admittedly, are spawns of Satan.)
The fact that a lot of them are old men may be considered cheating, since most old men are ugly, unless they're Sean Connery instead. OTOH, I only set out to prove that all Swedes aren't gorgeous. I in no way set out to prove that young and famous Swedes aren't gorgeous.
Lasse Brandeby
Actor/entertainer. Got his breakthrough as the character "Kurt Olsson", who was an amateur TV host.
Johannes Brost
Actor. Well-liked, though not known for playing romantic leads, due to his face being... uh... well... Also, if you put "röd" in his name you get Brödrost = toaster. (This from the Club of Randomness.) Brost as Joker in the TV soap Rederiet.
Claes Eriksson
Comedian/actor/musician. Totally awesome, but not much of a looker. Member of the comedy double-group Galenskaparna/After Shave. Video of Claes being awesome. His colleagues aren't that hot either. In fact...
Knut Agnred
I'm abandoning the alphabet to make my strongest case concerning Galenskaparna/After Shave by pointing out that the brilliant Knut isn't very pretty either. Video of various Knut awesome-moments to the song Tvättställ by Knut.
More Galenskaparna/After Shave colleagues
Galenskaparna/After Shave may be unique in that they would make the top list of both "Sweden's best comedians" and "Sweden's ugliest comedians." Video of four of them being awesome.
Nanne Grönwall
Singer. Nobody's sure which planet Nanne is from. Evidence suggests that she might be Vulcan.
Jan Guillou
Sweden's most renowned/notorious macho man, though I have heard rumours that he used to wear velour when the cameras were off. ;-) Gets a youth picture since his ugliness was more apparent before it got mellowed by general aging.
Bert Karlsson
Music producer. Former politician of the populist-racist variety. Scum of the earth.
Lasse Kronér
Musician/entertainer/TV host. *giggling at picture* (am twelve)
Barbro "Babben" Larsson
Comedian. Has made a thing out of her size and dialect. So cool that she might be considered sexy-ugly. (Damn Kissing Jessica Stein for being such a crap movie and coining such a good compound word.) YouTube standup clip (in Swedish).. (Actual standup doesn't start until almost two minutes in.)
Rolf Lassgård
Actor. Too fond of acting in routine detective stories, but otherwise mostly ok. One of his first high-profile roles was as the title figure of the film "My Big Fat Father."
Martin Ljung
Comedian/actor. Positively brilliant. Has pretty much always looked as the picture below, except of course less white-haired and wrinkly. Since he's a comedian, his looks really really work for him. :-) (See Povel Ramel for video - he's the bass.)
Kristina Lugn
Author. Pretty good one sometimes. Clearly thinks hair-combing is against her artistic integrity.
Claes Malmberg
Comedian/actor. Usually plays laid-back characters who like a beer in front of the TV. Swedish magazines are very fond of shouting "Nude Shock!" but in this case their hyperbole may actually be warranted.
Sven Melander
Comedian/TV host. Looked marginally better with a moustache, though marginally worse as Rulle the Troll.
Leif "Loket" Olsson
TV host. As axa aptly put it, "he looks like a pedo bear."
Olof Palme
RIP. Politician, former leader of the Social Democrats, murdered in 1986. Dad loves quoting the following letter from a child to Olof Palme: "My father says you're a snake, but surely snakes don't have noses like yours?"
Marit Paulsen
Politician for the Liberal People's Party. Pro EU, against cruel animal transports.
Charlotte Perelli
Singer. Example that you can start with a young and pretty face and turn it into a monstrosity.
Göran Persson
Politician. Former leader of the social democrats. Merits a second picture since he really didn't look any better as a young man.
Povel Ramel
RIP. Comedian/musician/total genius. Wrote lots of really brilliant novelty songs, which (as with Martin Ljung, whom he worked with) means that his looks were completely beneficial to him. Four videos/songs of Ramel awesomeness.
Fredrik Reinfeldt
Politician. Former leader of the Moderates (conservative). Someone once compared him to Alfons Åberg/Alfie Atkins, and now that's all I see.
Gudrun Schyman and Birgitta Ohlsson
Two for the price of one! Both politicians. Schyman was originally leader of the Leftist party, and then moved on to Feminist Initiative. Birgitta Ohlsson is with the Liberal People's Party.
Göran Skytte
Journalist/author. Once a part of the radical left, now right-wing and high-church. Somehow missed that appealing thing called middle ground.
Stellan Sundahl
RIP. Comedian. Brilliant talent, skin like a warzone. Video from 1980s comedy program The Prize (in English, actually).
Alf Svensson
Politician. He looks like Alfred E. Neuman, and his party was created in protest against Christianity being replaced by World Religions as a school subject. Oh joy.
Barbro "Lill-Babs" Svensson
Singer. One of those people who'd look ever so much better if she just allowed herself to age.
Johan Wester & Anders Jansson
Comedians. Creators of the humour show Hipp Hipp. Anders is also known as, among others, Tiffany Persson and Johan as Itzhak Skenström (doing Sound of Music in this clip). This picture is as pretty as you'll ever see them.
Ann Westin
Comedian. Short, aggressive, and amazing. Her routine includes a bit about how she's "silver single" (single since 25 years) and managed to reach this point by being "really god-damned mean, I have nothing in commmon with anyone, and I hate long walks in the forest." YouTube stand-up clip (in Swedish).
As a bonus, I've also added the guys from comedy show Varan-TV's competition for "Sweden's ugliest sports team." The competition was between (actors portraying) handball coach Bengt Johansson and football coach Tommy Svensson. The things said are pretty close to sheer bullying, but it's so beautiful I just have to include the quotes for each player. Note that these are not necessarily my opinion (I'd be tempted to count Klas Ingesson as sexy-ugly, for one thing).
Klas Ingesson
"He used to come home from his vacations on sunny Mallorca with a horrible sunburn. He's completely cerise."
Mats Olsson
"He's got a face like a fox's den. He's horribly ugly. Nobody dares to come closer than nine yards, because he's so ugly. But good, really good."
Pierre Thorsson
"He looks a badger on steroids when he comes running. Tall with some hair on top, like this. Horribly ugly - but really good, really good."
Tommy Svensson
"I am myself very ugly. That's something I hear a lot whenever I travel. 'Damn, you're ugly,' is what they tell me."
Also, another step to getting the ugliest team: "And I've taken a guy like Henke Larsson off the team. He's really handsome, or, well, cute-handsome."
Both team leaders then decide to uglify their team members even more through art:
Photoshopped Jonas Thern:
Drawing of Staffan Olsson
And don't forget, you can only take three (III) steps before you have to drop the ball (O)! *g*
Anyway. Picspam. This is in no way a judgement on the people included. Some of them are perfectly lovely in all other respects. They may even be among my favourite people in the world. They're just not that pretty. *g* (Others, admittedly, are spawns of Satan.)
The fact that a lot of them are old men may be considered cheating, since most old men are ugly, unless they're Sean Connery instead. OTOH, I only set out to prove that all Swedes aren't gorgeous. I in no way set out to prove that young and famous Swedes aren't gorgeous.
Lasse Brandeby
Actor/entertainer. Got his breakthrough as the character "Kurt Olsson", who was an amateur TV host.
Johannes Brost
Actor. Well-liked, though not known for playing romantic leads, due to his face being... uh... well... Also, if you put "röd" in his name you get Brödrost = toaster. (This from the Club of Randomness.) Brost as Joker in the TV soap Rederiet.
Claes Eriksson
Comedian/actor/musician. Totally awesome, but not much of a looker. Member of the comedy double-group Galenskaparna/After Shave. Video of Claes being awesome. His colleagues aren't that hot either. In fact...
Knut Agnred
I'm abandoning the alphabet to make my strongest case concerning Galenskaparna/After Shave by pointing out that the brilliant Knut isn't very pretty either. Video of various Knut awesome-moments to the song Tvättställ by Knut.
More Galenskaparna/After Shave colleagues
Galenskaparna/After Shave may be unique in that they would make the top list of both "Sweden's best comedians" and "Sweden's ugliest comedians." Video of four of them being awesome.
Nanne Grönwall
Singer. Nobody's sure which planet Nanne is from. Evidence suggests that she might be Vulcan.
Jan Guillou
Sweden's most renowned/notorious macho man, though I have heard rumours that he used to wear velour when the cameras were off. ;-) Gets a youth picture since his ugliness was more apparent before it got mellowed by general aging.
Bert Karlsson
Music producer. Former politician of the populist-racist variety. Scum of the earth.
Lasse Kronér
Musician/entertainer/TV host. *giggling at picture* (am twelve)
Barbro "Babben" Larsson
Comedian. Has made a thing out of her size and dialect. So cool that she might be considered sexy-ugly. (Damn Kissing Jessica Stein for being such a crap movie and coining such a good compound word.) YouTube standup clip (in Swedish).. (Actual standup doesn't start until almost two minutes in.)
Rolf Lassgård
Actor. Too fond of acting in routine detective stories, but otherwise mostly ok. One of his first high-profile roles was as the title figure of the film "My Big Fat Father."
Martin Ljung
Comedian/actor. Positively brilliant. Has pretty much always looked as the picture below, except of course less white-haired and wrinkly. Since he's a comedian, his looks really really work for him. :-) (See Povel Ramel for video - he's the bass.)
Kristina Lugn
Author. Pretty good one sometimes. Clearly thinks hair-combing is against her artistic integrity.
Claes Malmberg
Comedian/actor. Usually plays laid-back characters who like a beer in front of the TV. Swedish magazines are very fond of shouting "Nude Shock!" but in this case their hyperbole may actually be warranted.
Sven Melander
Comedian/TV host. Looked marginally better with a moustache, though marginally worse as Rulle the Troll.
Leif "Loket" Olsson
TV host. As axa aptly put it, "he looks like a pedo bear."
Olof Palme
RIP. Politician, former leader of the Social Democrats, murdered in 1986. Dad loves quoting the following letter from a child to Olof Palme: "My father says you're a snake, but surely snakes don't have noses like yours?"
Marit Paulsen
Politician for the Liberal People's Party. Pro EU, against cruel animal transports.
Charlotte Perelli
Singer. Example that you can start with a young and pretty face and turn it into a monstrosity.
Göran Persson
Politician. Former leader of the social democrats. Merits a second picture since he really didn't look any better as a young man.
Povel Ramel
RIP. Comedian/musician/total genius. Wrote lots of really brilliant novelty songs, which (as with Martin Ljung, whom he worked with) means that his looks were completely beneficial to him. Four videos/songs of Ramel awesomeness.
Fredrik Reinfeldt
Politician. Former leader of the Moderates (conservative). Someone once compared him to Alfons Åberg/Alfie Atkins, and now that's all I see.
Gudrun Schyman and Birgitta Ohlsson
Two for the price of one! Both politicians. Schyman was originally leader of the Leftist party, and then moved on to Feminist Initiative. Birgitta Ohlsson is with the Liberal People's Party.
Göran Skytte
Journalist/author. Once a part of the radical left, now right-wing and high-church. Somehow missed that appealing thing called middle ground.
Stellan Sundahl
RIP. Comedian. Brilliant talent, skin like a warzone. Video from 1980s comedy program The Prize (in English, actually).
Alf Svensson
Politician. He looks like Alfred E. Neuman, and his party was created in protest against Christianity being replaced by World Religions as a school subject. Oh joy.
Barbro "Lill-Babs" Svensson
Singer. One of those people who'd look ever so much better if she just allowed herself to age.
Johan Wester & Anders Jansson
Comedians. Creators of the humour show Hipp Hipp. Anders is also known as, among others, Tiffany Persson and Johan as Itzhak Skenström (doing Sound of Music in this clip). This picture is as pretty as you'll ever see them.
Ann Westin
Comedian. Short, aggressive, and amazing. Her routine includes a bit about how she's "silver single" (single since 25 years) and managed to reach this point by being "really god-damned mean, I have nothing in commmon with anyone, and I hate long walks in the forest." YouTube stand-up clip (in Swedish).
As a bonus, I've also added the guys from comedy show Varan-TV's competition for "Sweden's ugliest sports team." The competition was between (actors portraying) handball coach Bengt Johansson and football coach Tommy Svensson. The things said are pretty close to sheer bullying, but it's so beautiful I just have to include the quotes for each player. Note that these are not necessarily my opinion (I'd be tempted to count Klas Ingesson as sexy-ugly, for one thing).
Klas Ingesson
"He used to come home from his vacations on sunny Mallorca with a horrible sunburn. He's completely cerise."
Mats Olsson
"He's got a face like a fox's den. He's horribly ugly. Nobody dares to come closer than nine yards, because he's so ugly. But good, really good."
Pierre Thorsson
"He looks a badger on steroids when he comes running. Tall with some hair on top, like this. Horribly ugly - but really good, really good."
Tommy Svensson
"I am myself very ugly. That's something I hear a lot whenever I travel. 'Damn, you're ugly,' is what they tell me."
Also, another step to getting the ugliest team: "And I've taken a guy like Henke Larsson off the team. He's really handsome, or, well, cute-handsome."
Both team leaders then decide to uglify their team members even more through art:
Photoshopped Jonas Thern:
Drawing of Staffan Olsson
And don't forget, you can only take three (III) steps before you have to drop the ball (O)! *g*