the ladies of Moff
Yet another post about female characters in a very short time. Yes, I'm sorry to harp on the same subject so much. Thing is, I've had this post lying around for a while about the women on Moffat's shows, and why I like them so much. Only my computer broke down. And then Blink aired. And then I started watching Jekyll and had to take that into account. But now, I think I have them pretty much rounded up - for the time being.
Starting from the end, with Jekyll. My statistics wand revealed that the show is pretty 50/50 genderwise. Interestingly enough, most of the minor characters are men, while most of the really important ones are women, and it's the women who survive. It can also be noted thattwo women are responsible for bringing Mr. Hyde into the world once again (though neither did it on purpose), and one of them beats him in the end.
Starting with Claire Jackman. A problem with Claire is that she's a role to die for, but I'm not entirely sold on Gina Bellman in the role. She has this theatrical way of delivering her lines that works well for Jane, but rings a little false for Claire. But even so, she was a joy to watch as she went from the duped wife to the strongest character on the show.
Choice quote: "Mrs. Hyde. For now. Just so you remember. Just so you keep in mind what's coming, I'm Mrs. Hyde. And honey - just you wait until my husband gets home."
Katherine Reimer got a really good start, but then sort of disappeared into the sidelines. I think it's a credit to the awesomeness of the cast that I loved her to pieces when she was on but didn't miss her when she wasn't.
Choice quote: "It's always the same tea." (This one needs context: she always gives Dr. Jackman the same kind of tea, but sometimes it's with ROOFIES.)
Miranda/ and Min get mentioned together, in part because they have the same quote and in part because they're usually seen together anyway. I've thought Meera Syal was fabulous ever since Goodness Gracious Me (I had her as the avatar for an OC once), and she's great in this part, as a smart and resourceful detective. Sure, she only sniffs the edges of the truth, but so does everyone else (with one exception, natch). Min works as a very good complement for the character, providing base for good lines as well as extra detective work, and of course it's lovely to see such a cool pair of lesbians left standing.
Choice quote:
Miranda: I'd say it's a pretty full-on abduction. Although maybe you just lock women up in your basement recreationally.
Min: Pot. Kettle.
And finally we get to the double part of Ms. Utterson and Sophia, and I'm so grateful I'm a stupid viewer sometimes, because I didn't see that one coming. I really liked Sophia, her subtle strength and the way she was the only one who knew everything. And that way she helped Claire - kick ass, people. Ms. Utterson was a more hammy part, though considering the end, that seems about right. (The American accent didn't help either. I know people have been slamming Dexter Fletcher's attempt in Press Gang, but dear God, the accents on this show!)
Choice quote (Sophia): "You're a direct descendant of Dr. Jekyll, yet Dr. Jekyll had no descendants. Right? Then how can anything be simple?"
Choice quote (Ms. Utterson): "What's wrong, sweetie, don't you have a kiss for mommy?"
And now for Doctor Who, where it shall be noted that while the Moff does very little with the companions (although he's responsible for the lovely image in my icon), all three of his storylines have very vital female OCs.
Sally Sparrow, of course, who is the protagonist of her story and makes a fine job of it. She takes a while to catch on to the supernatural - especially with the "duck!" thing (silly girl, just DUCK!) - but then, who wouldn't? Once she has caught on, she's sensible and resourceful. When the guy says "why doesn't anyone ever go to the police?" she goes to the police. It doesn't do her any good, but still, it shows a willingness to try different solutions to the problem. She comes up with the clues she needs to come up with and in general works very well as a ciceron through the world of creepiness.
Choice quote: "Started well, that sentence."
Then there's Reinette. I know a lot of people don't like her for various reasons. Personally, I really did, even if she's not among Moffat's absolute best. She's poised and reasonable and keeps her head in a crisis (sorry for the bad pun). Also, just consider the Doctor's fanboy squee where he ranks her merits: "Actress, artist, musician, dancer, courtesan? Fantastic gardener!" He's giddy not because a gorgeous woman just kissed him, but because he's impressed by the accomplishments of that woman. (And, okay, among her accomplishments she's good with the sexin'. I gotta say, though, props for not taking a moralistic approach to that.)
Is it a bit telling-not-showing? Sure, but they've only got 45 minutes to get the story out, and I do think Reinette's behaviour is admirable enough on its own, even if we didn't know who she was
Choice quote: "I have made a decision. And my decision is 'no' - I shall not be going with you today. I have seen your world, and I have no desire to set foot there again. [...] You think I fear you. But I do not fear you, even now. You are merely the nightmare of my childhood. The monster from under my bed. And if my nightmare can return to plague me, then rest assured - so will yours."
Moving on to less controversial territory; Nancy. Nancy is, IMO, among Moffat's absolute best. She's intelligent, resourceful, and occasionally witty. She's brave and caring, and technically the one who saves the day, even if she didn't know what would happen. She makes fun of the doctor in such a gentle way that it's barely even an insult. And through all this, she's well-rounded and believable and doesn't even remotely ping my Sue-o-meter.
Choice quote (well, exhange):
Nancy: How did you follow me here?
The Doctor: Good at following, me. Got the nose for it.
Nancy: People can't usually follow me if I don't want them to.
The Doctor: My nose has special powers.
Nancy: Really? Is that why it's so...
The Doctor: What?
Nancy: Nothing.
The Doctor: What?
Nancy: Nothing. Do your ears have special powers, too?
I simply have to mention The Curse of Fatal Death, despite it being a short one-time spoof, for two reasons: the last Doctor, and Emma. Not only did the Moff have Julia Sawalha as the Doctor's companion. Not only did he make perfectly clear that for the first time, the Doctor was having a full-on sexual affair with a companion. (And really, if you have to choose one companion for that, you should always choose Julia Sawalha.) He had the Doctor regenerate into Joanna Lumley and get involved with the Master. I want to see Joanna Lumley as a canonical Doctor, damn it. Or at the very least, I'd love to see a girl Doctor. That would really fuck with the heads of both shippers and old schoolers.
Choice quote:
Doctor (fondling her new breasts): I've always wanted to get my hands on a pair of these.
Emma: Unfortunately, I haven't.
Next, we have the ladies of Coupling, where Moffat has the advantage of actually getting more than one episode to flesh out the characters. Admittedly, they're on the sitcom-shallow side, but then, so are the gents of this show.
Susan, for starters, is the sanest, most composed of the bunch. Sure, that means she's not as funny as the others, but there's always the intentional wit that pops up sometimes. Take, for example, the scene where Patrick without consulting her pretends that she's his wife, and where his colleague's wife (after bragging about all the the things she's sacrificed for her husband), asks Susan what she's had to sacrifice for Patrick. "My penis. -- Kidding! I still have my penis. -- Kidding! I never had a penis, and that's what we have in common."
Susan has a tendency towards snippiness (apparently!) and sometimes finds Steve very difficult to live with. Still, it's fairly obvious that she's written with love, and it's hardly surprising that she's based on Moffat's wife Sue Vertue. Also, I think it's pretty neat that Susan is portrayed as such great girlfriend material, while she (just like the rest of the Coupling chicks) also gets to have a sexual appetite and a wide sexual experience.
Choice quote (apart from the penis one):
Jane: Do they really call me the one with the breast?
Susan: Yes.
Jane: Then what do they call you?
Susan: Susan.
Sally - pretty neurotic woman who's obsessed about her looks, yet so much more than a caricature. With all her insecurities, she's still sassy, strong, intelligent, and desirable. She considers bottoms at the top of the crisis scale, she'll go out with a man she loathes because he's well endowed... and I love her. Go figure.
Choice quote: "You’ve always got to send a man a book when you split up, to prove how you’re a caring, giving person, and how they’re going to die in a pit of their own filth."
(And as a bonus, because it's so lovely, even if it's not very typically Sally: "You know, I have never understood the male obsession with lesbianism - a whole area of sex with nothing for them to do. Just answered my own question, haven't I?")
As for Jane, the last of the Coupling girls, she was my first favourite on the show (before I became so entangled that I loved all of them), and she remains so refreshingly insane that I can't help but adore her. I mean, the truth snake alone, not to mention her impersonation of God. She simply doesn't have any censorship between her very strange brain and her mouth. And yet there are glimpses of her as more vulnerable, more aware of her surroundings, but desperate to stay in her own little bubble of the world.
Choice quote: "Vegetarianism for me is about saying 'yes' to things, even meat."
And now, we have reached Press Gang, my favourite of Steven Moffat's shows and his very first one, as well as the first one I saw.
Which obviously means we have to start with Lynda, because, hello, Lynda. Not only the main character, but my favourite main character of the history of television, and one of my favourite female characters of anything, ever. Actually, this is the point where I gave up the post originally, because how on earth could I do her justice in words?
Short version: Lynda is a bitch. She's the girl who's pleased to find out her team is referring to her as "Vampira".
Long version: oh where do I start... Yes, okay, Lynda's a bitch, but she's also what Göran Everdahl described as "an asshole you like for [her] inner qualities." I don't love to hate Lynda, I love Lynda. When she's snarky and smart, insulting incompetent reporters and solving mysteries to print in her newspaper, sure, but also when she's low-key and vulnerable. When she hugs Colin in "Something Terrible." When she doesn't know how to handle Spike's love for her in "Yesterday's News." When she blames herself for David's death in "Monday/Tuesday" and when she refuses to feel any sympathy for Gary in "There Are Crocodiles." And I love that everyone on the show acknowledges that no, you can't treat people the way she treats them, but that she's also brilliant at what she's doing, and her amoral attitude is part of the reason she can do it so well.
Choice quote: "One thing I've always wondered about you, Graham. When you wake up in the morning - how do you tell?"
Sarah I think is the weakest link, really, if I must choose one. She's such a Nice Girl. Smart and competent, yet without the guts to stand up for herself, and so people walk all over her. Even in her final episode, she chickens out of quitting and Lynda has to be the one to cut the strings. Still, the girl has her moments of quiet awesomeness.
Choice quote: "You got me so mad I forgot to be nervous. I think I aced it."
Julie starts out as a bit of a bimbo in season 1, but is much better when she returns for season 4. She gets to fill Kenny's shoes as "the one who calls Lynda on things," and she does it with more barbs and less patience. I think this is the first time in the series that Lynda has someone she calls a friend, yet can't walk all over.
Choice quote: "I don't find you particularly attractive. In fact, I find you particularly unattractive. In fact, Colin, of all the people I find particularly unattractive, you are my least favourite. And you're not looking your best tonight. Am I making myself clear? I just want to be friends."
"Friends?"
"Don't make me kill you."
Of course, Julie suffers a little from the inevitable comparison to Sam - the other blonde in the graphic's room. IMO, most of the improvements to Julie in later seasons was Steven lifting characterisation straight from Sam. (Which is okay, really, since Sam was only created because the actress playing Julie was leaving the show.) Sam is pretty, self-assured, and bitchy without going to the lengths Lynda does. She considers guys "the ultimate fashion accessory" and flirts shamelessly - but her main flirt object of choice is Kenny, the newsroom Nice Guy, and the girl she hangs the most with is Sarah. Sure, in part it may be because a the cast isn't big enough for people to have cliques, but even so, it shows a softer edge to her character that combined with the rest of it is quite intriguing.
Choice quote:
Sam: Some zap? Am I getting this right? You want me to liven up an
explosion?
Lynda: I want you to give me the best work you've done, Sam, and make
it stick! This is our big chance to show what we can do!
Sam: Well, that's a new angle.
Lynda: What?
Sam: Gas leak, bomb, or career opportunity. Lynda, there are people in
that building!
Lynda: I know!
Sam: Do you? We're talking about the dead and dying here, Lynda! And
I'm supposed to "put in some zap"! How about I just do the obituary
column in colour?
Tiddler, the last of the regular girls, got the name because she's small and popular. She's also ambitious enough to admit that in a few years she'll want Lynda's job - and she admits it in front of Lynda, which also shows she has chutzpah. Sometimes her insistence that junior pages should count too comes close to whining, but at other times she really shines with her unconventional ideas. (The football game!)
Choice quote (to Spike): "Stick to looking good in jeans."
Chrissie Stuart is the one adult woman of importance in the Press Gang world, and she kind of drifts away after a while, which is a pity, because she's a really good character. She helps the team out when they really need them without giving them too much slack, and she's clearly a good journalist as well.
Choice quote:
Chrissie: So. Why is everybody looking guilty just because you've had a phone put in? You haven't. Is it on our exchange? And do we know about it? -- I don't want to know about this.
Lynda: Chrissie, what are you going to do? If Mr. Kerr finds out...
Chrissie: The only way he's going to find out is if I tell him, and I'm not going to tell him, because I don't want to be there when he finds out.
Rounding off with Sophie and Laura, the two adolescent who spent half their time participating in Colin's weird schemes, and the other half making up even weirder schemes of their own. Though pretty one-note characters, they were usually a good source of amusement.
Choice quote (I can never remember which one is Sophie and which one is Laura, so I'll just go with it):
"Can you taste any disinfectant on them?"
"Carpet fluff?"
"Axel grease? Good. Told you they'd be all right."
And that's all, folks! I'm sure the Moff has made other lovely ladies, but unfortunately, I haven't seen them yet.
Starting from the end, with Jekyll. My statistics wand revealed that the show is pretty 50/50 genderwise. Interestingly enough, most of the minor characters are men, while most of the really important ones are women, and it's the women who survive. It can also be noted thattwo women are responsible for bringing Mr. Hyde into the world once again (though neither did it on purpose), and one of them beats him in the end.
Starting with Claire Jackman. A problem with Claire is that she's a role to die for, but I'm not entirely sold on Gina Bellman in the role. She has this theatrical way of delivering her lines that works well for Jane, but rings a little false for Claire. But even so, she was a joy to watch as she went from the duped wife to the strongest character on the show.
Choice quote: "Mrs. Hyde. For now. Just so you remember. Just so you keep in mind what's coming, I'm Mrs. Hyde. And honey - just you wait until my husband gets home."
Katherine Reimer got a really good start, but then sort of disappeared into the sidelines. I think it's a credit to the awesomeness of the cast that I loved her to pieces when she was on but didn't miss her when she wasn't.
Choice quote: "It's always the same tea." (This one needs context: she always gives Dr. Jackman the same kind of tea, but sometimes it's with ROOFIES.)
Miranda/ and Min get mentioned together, in part because they have the same quote and in part because they're usually seen together anyway. I've thought Meera Syal was fabulous ever since Goodness Gracious Me (I had her as the avatar for an OC once), and she's great in this part, as a smart and resourceful detective. Sure, she only sniffs the edges of the truth, but so does everyone else (with one exception, natch). Min works as a very good complement for the character, providing base for good lines as well as extra detective work, and of course it's lovely to see such a cool pair of lesbians left standing.
Choice quote:
Miranda: I'd say it's a pretty full-on abduction. Although maybe you just lock women up in your basement recreationally.
Min: Pot. Kettle.
And finally we get to the double part of Ms. Utterson and Sophia, and I'm so grateful I'm a stupid viewer sometimes, because I didn't see that one coming. I really liked Sophia, her subtle strength and the way she was the only one who knew everything. And that way she helped Claire - kick ass, people. Ms. Utterson was a more hammy part, though considering the end, that seems about right. (The American accent didn't help either. I know people have been slamming Dexter Fletcher's attempt in Press Gang, but dear God, the accents on this show!)
Choice quote (Sophia): "You're a direct descendant of Dr. Jekyll, yet Dr. Jekyll had no descendants. Right? Then how can anything be simple?"
Choice quote (Ms. Utterson): "What's wrong, sweetie, don't you have a kiss for mommy?"
And now for Doctor Who, where it shall be noted that while the Moff does very little with the companions (although he's responsible for the lovely image in my icon), all three of his storylines have very vital female OCs.
Sally Sparrow, of course, who is the protagonist of her story and makes a fine job of it. She takes a while to catch on to the supernatural - especially with the "duck!" thing (silly girl, just DUCK!) - but then, who wouldn't? Once she has caught on, she's sensible and resourceful. When the guy says "why doesn't anyone ever go to the police?" she goes to the police. It doesn't do her any good, but still, it shows a willingness to try different solutions to the problem. She comes up with the clues she needs to come up with and in general works very well as a ciceron through the world of creepiness.
Choice quote: "Started well, that sentence."
Then there's Reinette. I know a lot of people don't like her for various reasons. Personally, I really did, even if she's not among Moffat's absolute best. She's poised and reasonable and keeps her head in a crisis (sorry for the bad pun). Also, just consider the Doctor's fanboy squee where he ranks her merits: "Actress, artist, musician, dancer, courtesan? Fantastic gardener!" He's giddy not because a gorgeous woman just kissed him, but because he's impressed by the accomplishments of that woman. (And, okay, among her accomplishments she's good with the sexin'. I gotta say, though, props for not taking a moralistic approach to that.)
Is it a bit telling-not-showing? Sure, but they've only got 45 minutes to get the story out, and I do think Reinette's behaviour is admirable enough on its own, even if we didn't know who she was
Choice quote: "I have made a decision. And my decision is 'no' - I shall not be going with you today. I have seen your world, and I have no desire to set foot there again. [...] You think I fear you. But I do not fear you, even now. You are merely the nightmare of my childhood. The monster from under my bed. And if my nightmare can return to plague me, then rest assured - so will yours."
Moving on to less controversial territory; Nancy. Nancy is, IMO, among Moffat's absolute best. She's intelligent, resourceful, and occasionally witty. She's brave and caring, and technically the one who saves the day, even if she didn't know what would happen. She makes fun of the doctor in such a gentle way that it's barely even an insult. And through all this, she's well-rounded and believable and doesn't even remotely ping my Sue-o-meter.
Choice quote (well, exhange):
Nancy: How did you follow me here?
The Doctor: Good at following, me. Got the nose for it.
Nancy: People can't usually follow me if I don't want them to.
The Doctor: My nose has special powers.
Nancy: Really? Is that why it's so...
The Doctor: What?
Nancy: Nothing.
The Doctor: What?
Nancy: Nothing. Do your ears have special powers, too?
I simply have to mention The Curse of Fatal Death, despite it being a short one-time spoof, for two reasons: the last Doctor, and Emma. Not only did the Moff have Julia Sawalha as the Doctor's companion. Not only did he make perfectly clear that for the first time, the Doctor was having a full-on sexual affair with a companion. (And really, if you have to choose one companion for that, you should always choose Julia Sawalha.) He had the Doctor regenerate into Joanna Lumley and get involved with the Master. I want to see Joanna Lumley as a canonical Doctor, damn it. Or at the very least, I'd love to see a girl Doctor. That would really fuck with the heads of both shippers and old schoolers.
Choice quote:
Doctor (fondling her new breasts): I've always wanted to get my hands on a pair of these.
Emma: Unfortunately, I haven't.
Next, we have the ladies of Coupling, where Moffat has the advantage of actually getting more than one episode to flesh out the characters. Admittedly, they're on the sitcom-shallow side, but then, so are the gents of this show.
Susan, for starters, is the sanest, most composed of the bunch. Sure, that means she's not as funny as the others, but there's always the intentional wit that pops up sometimes. Take, for example, the scene where Patrick without consulting her pretends that she's his wife, and where his colleague's wife (after bragging about all the the things she's sacrificed for her husband), asks Susan what she's had to sacrifice for Patrick. "My penis. -- Kidding! I still have my penis. -- Kidding! I never had a penis, and that's what we have in common."
Susan has a tendency towards snippiness (apparently!) and sometimes finds Steve very difficult to live with. Still, it's fairly obvious that she's written with love, and it's hardly surprising that she's based on Moffat's wife Sue Vertue. Also, I think it's pretty neat that Susan is portrayed as such great girlfriend material, while she (just like the rest of the Coupling chicks) also gets to have a sexual appetite and a wide sexual experience.
Choice quote (apart from the penis one):
Jane: Do they really call me the one with the breast?
Susan: Yes.
Jane: Then what do they call you?
Susan: Susan.
Sally - pretty neurotic woman who's obsessed about her looks, yet so much more than a caricature. With all her insecurities, she's still sassy, strong, intelligent, and desirable. She considers bottoms at the top of the crisis scale, she'll go out with a man she loathes because he's well endowed... and I love her. Go figure.
Choice quote: "You’ve always got to send a man a book when you split up, to prove how you’re a caring, giving person, and how they’re going to die in a pit of their own filth."
(And as a bonus, because it's so lovely, even if it's not very typically Sally: "You know, I have never understood the male obsession with lesbianism - a whole area of sex with nothing for them to do. Just answered my own question, haven't I?")
As for Jane, the last of the Coupling girls, she was my first favourite on the show (before I became so entangled that I loved all of them), and she remains so refreshingly insane that I can't help but adore her. I mean, the truth snake alone, not to mention her impersonation of God. She simply doesn't have any censorship between her very strange brain and her mouth. And yet there are glimpses of her as more vulnerable, more aware of her surroundings, but desperate to stay in her own little bubble of the world.
Choice quote: "Vegetarianism for me is about saying 'yes' to things, even meat."
And now, we have reached Press Gang, my favourite of Steven Moffat's shows and his very first one, as well as the first one I saw.
Which obviously means we have to start with Lynda, because, hello, Lynda. Not only the main character, but my favourite main character of the history of television, and one of my favourite female characters of anything, ever. Actually, this is the point where I gave up the post originally, because how on earth could I do her justice in words?
Short version: Lynda is a bitch. She's the girl who's pleased to find out her team is referring to her as "Vampira".
Long version: oh where do I start... Yes, okay, Lynda's a bitch, but she's also what Göran Everdahl described as "an asshole you like for [her] inner qualities." I don't love to hate Lynda, I love Lynda. When she's snarky and smart, insulting incompetent reporters and solving mysteries to print in her newspaper, sure, but also when she's low-key and vulnerable. When she hugs Colin in "Something Terrible." When she doesn't know how to handle Spike's love for her in "Yesterday's News." When she blames herself for David's death in "Monday/Tuesday" and when she refuses to feel any sympathy for Gary in "There Are Crocodiles." And I love that everyone on the show acknowledges that no, you can't treat people the way she treats them, but that she's also brilliant at what she's doing, and her amoral attitude is part of the reason she can do it so well.
Choice quote: "One thing I've always wondered about you, Graham. When you wake up in the morning - how do you tell?"
Sarah I think is the weakest link, really, if I must choose one. She's such a Nice Girl. Smart and competent, yet without the guts to stand up for herself, and so people walk all over her. Even in her final episode, she chickens out of quitting and Lynda has to be the one to cut the strings. Still, the girl has her moments of quiet awesomeness.
Choice quote: "You got me so mad I forgot to be nervous. I think I aced it."
Julie starts out as a bit of a bimbo in season 1, but is much better when she returns for season 4. She gets to fill Kenny's shoes as "the one who calls Lynda on things," and she does it with more barbs and less patience. I think this is the first time in the series that Lynda has someone she calls a friend, yet can't walk all over.
Choice quote: "I don't find you particularly attractive. In fact, I find you particularly unattractive. In fact, Colin, of all the people I find particularly unattractive, you are my least favourite. And you're not looking your best tonight. Am I making myself clear? I just want to be friends."
"Friends?"
"Don't make me kill you."
Of course, Julie suffers a little from the inevitable comparison to Sam - the other blonde in the graphic's room. IMO, most of the improvements to Julie in later seasons was Steven lifting characterisation straight from Sam. (Which is okay, really, since Sam was only created because the actress playing Julie was leaving the show.) Sam is pretty, self-assured, and bitchy without going to the lengths Lynda does. She considers guys "the ultimate fashion accessory" and flirts shamelessly - but her main flirt object of choice is Kenny, the newsroom Nice Guy, and the girl she hangs the most with is Sarah. Sure, in part it may be because a the cast isn't big enough for people to have cliques, but even so, it shows a softer edge to her character that combined with the rest of it is quite intriguing.
Choice quote:
Sam: Some zap? Am I getting this right? You want me to liven up an
explosion?
Lynda: I want you to give me the best work you've done, Sam, and make
it stick! This is our big chance to show what we can do!
Sam: Well, that's a new angle.
Lynda: What?
Sam: Gas leak, bomb, or career opportunity. Lynda, there are people in
that building!
Lynda: I know!
Sam: Do you? We're talking about the dead and dying here, Lynda! And
I'm supposed to "put in some zap"! How about I just do the obituary
column in colour?
Tiddler, the last of the regular girls, got the name because she's small and popular. She's also ambitious enough to admit that in a few years she'll want Lynda's job - and she admits it in front of Lynda, which also shows she has chutzpah. Sometimes her insistence that junior pages should count too comes close to whining, but at other times she really shines with her unconventional ideas. (The football game!)
Choice quote (to Spike): "Stick to looking good in jeans."
Chrissie Stuart is the one adult woman of importance in the Press Gang world, and she kind of drifts away after a while, which is a pity, because she's a really good character. She helps the team out when they really need them without giving them too much slack, and she's clearly a good journalist as well.
Choice quote:
Chrissie: So. Why is everybody looking guilty just because you've had a phone put in? You haven't. Is it on our exchange? And do we know about it? -- I don't want to know about this.
Lynda: Chrissie, what are you going to do? If Mr. Kerr finds out...
Chrissie: The only way he's going to find out is if I tell him, and I'm not going to tell him, because I don't want to be there when he finds out.
Rounding off with Sophie and Laura, the two adolescent who spent half their time participating in Colin's weird schemes, and the other half making up even weirder schemes of their own. Though pretty one-note characters, they were usually a good source of amusement.
Choice quote (I can never remember which one is Sophie and which one is Laura, so I'll just go with it):
"Can you taste any disinfectant on them?"
"Carpet fluff?"
"Axel grease? Good. Told you they'd be all right."
And that's all, folks! I'm sure the Moff has made other lovely ladies, but unfortunately, I haven't seen them yet.