back from Stockholm
So, this weekend I was in Stockholm for the annual meeting and conferences of Sweden's United Gay Students. I went as a representative of Lund, but I had our chair(wo)man with me, so I didn't have to vote or anything.
The meeting was as meetings usually are, i.e. dull, and the hotel was kind of scary (a room about the size of the bed, only window above the door and facing the corridor). But everything else was fairly fabulous.
I mean, just take the lectures... I didn't expect them to be interesting. But I knew I was wrong from the first day, when two women from the lesbian club Golden Ladies held the first two.
One of them was 87 years old. Her lecture was more of a mini-utobiography, but dude, she was an 87-year-old lesbian. It was worth listening to. There wasn't a "coming out" story, of course, just coded contact ads and "women's clubs" - but like she said, since lesbianism barely existed in the public mind back then, it was easy in a way. You could get an apartment together and no one would think it was in any way strange.
The second one was a bit younger, but on the other hand she'd been involved in Lesbian Front back in the sixties and seventies, and she talked about that.
The part that fascinated me the most was when she spoke of the anti-Lucia parade they made one December, which ended with the lot of them burning Lucia gowns on Sergel's Square and dancing around the fire. A couple of guys broke into the dance, and the police, who had been watching, took the guys out of the dance and told the (militant lesbian) girls: "You just finish your dancing, and we'll take out the fire when you're done."
Like she said, "That was what the police force was like back then. I don't think they'd do the same thing now. But of course, we didn't break any windows or anything. We sent girls out on misty nights to paint the windows of porn shops, but we never made any noise. That'll get you caught." :-)
There was also a lecture by Stephanie, former vice chairman and a MTF transsexual, and another by the leader of the gay activists in the military. (No such thing as a "don't ask, don't tell" policy over here, but of course that doesn't mean everything's nice and dandy.)
So, very interesting. And very much *fun*, since we also spent a lot of time just hanging out together and getting to know each other. I was told more than once that the gay students of Lund/Malmö was a "rich" society and a "big" one, which put a nice perspective on things. (We have about 60-70 members. Many of the others had less than ten.)
As I said, I traveled and shared a room with Camilla, our chairman, which was both good and bad. It was good because she's a nice, matter-of-fact woman with a commanding personality who gets things done. It was bad for pretty much the same reason.
I suddenly became incredibly co-dependant. I talked a lot without really expressing any opinions, I followed her around, I wouldn't go anywhere alone except to the bathroom, I sometimes chose the same food she did just because she was eating it... and I even noticed that my voice was going higher.
There were times when I noticed and went "What the fuck am I doing? I behave like a little girl!" But I couldn't stop myself.
I'll have to point out that she in no way demanded that I should do things her way. If she had, I probably would have been a lot less complacent. I don't like people who try to tell others what to do. But all she said what was she wanted - and I wanted her to be pleased.
Good thing then that she actually took on the "mother" role I assigned to her well enough to take some care of me. We had a few hours left on Sunday after the lectures ended and before the train was due, so we walked around the city a bit, shopping.
She asked me if there was anywhere I wanted to go, and I said "not really". (To my defence, I've been shopping a lot lately and didn't need anything.) What she wanted to do was to look at clothes, and we did that. But we also went to the science fiction bookstore. Her suggestion, not mine, but I was the one who gave a damn. All she showed any interest in was a collection of ST:Voyager postcards with all the women. It was an incredibly gay collection, and I can't believe it was ever intended for men.
What I showed an interest in, however, was everything. I can hardly find any Diana Wynne Jones books at home - this store had a whole shelf of them. I ended up buying four: Hexwood, A Sudden Wild Magic, Eight Days of Luke and Mixed Magic.
Since I didn't want to go up to the counter with only DWJ books, I also bought a collection of Gaiman short stories and a book by Robin McKinley. There were plenty of authors whose names I recognized from discussions online, but I couldn't for my life remembered if you guys had liked them or not. So I picked McKinley mostly because the story sounded interesting - it's quite possible I recognized the name because you think her (is it her?) books suck.
I was very sad I couldn't for my life remember which books were said to be slashy - it would have been my chance to read up on them.
So, she did take care of me. And I think my co-dependence calmed down my mother (who was nervous as hell at the thought of me going to a Big Gay Conference). It didn't stop her from calling, but just once and when we were already on our way home. She knew I was in safe hands. But it does bug me that I needed to be in any kind of hands at all.
The meeting was as meetings usually are, i.e. dull, and the hotel was kind of scary (a room about the size of the bed, only window above the door and facing the corridor). But everything else was fairly fabulous.
I mean, just take the lectures... I didn't expect them to be interesting. But I knew I was wrong from the first day, when two women from the lesbian club Golden Ladies held the first two.
One of them was 87 years old. Her lecture was more of a mini-utobiography, but dude, she was an 87-year-old lesbian. It was worth listening to. There wasn't a "coming out" story, of course, just coded contact ads and "women's clubs" - but like she said, since lesbianism barely existed in the public mind back then, it was easy in a way. You could get an apartment together and no one would think it was in any way strange.
The second one was a bit younger, but on the other hand she'd been involved in Lesbian Front back in the sixties and seventies, and she talked about that.
The part that fascinated me the most was when she spoke of the anti-Lucia parade they made one December, which ended with the lot of them burning Lucia gowns on Sergel's Square and dancing around the fire. A couple of guys broke into the dance, and the police, who had been watching, took the guys out of the dance and told the (militant lesbian) girls: "You just finish your dancing, and we'll take out the fire when you're done."
Like she said, "That was what the police force was like back then. I don't think they'd do the same thing now. But of course, we didn't break any windows or anything. We sent girls out on misty nights to paint the windows of porn shops, but we never made any noise. That'll get you caught." :-)
There was also a lecture by Stephanie, former vice chairman and a MTF transsexual, and another by the leader of the gay activists in the military. (No such thing as a "don't ask, don't tell" policy over here, but of course that doesn't mean everything's nice and dandy.)
So, very interesting. And very much *fun*, since we also spent a lot of time just hanging out together and getting to know each other. I was told more than once that the gay students of Lund/Malmö was a "rich" society and a "big" one, which put a nice perspective on things. (We have about 60-70 members. Many of the others had less than ten.)
As I said, I traveled and shared a room with Camilla, our chairman, which was both good and bad. It was good because she's a nice, matter-of-fact woman with a commanding personality who gets things done. It was bad for pretty much the same reason.
I suddenly became incredibly co-dependant. I talked a lot without really expressing any opinions, I followed her around, I wouldn't go anywhere alone except to the bathroom, I sometimes chose the same food she did just because she was eating it... and I even noticed that my voice was going higher.
There were times when I noticed and went "What the fuck am I doing? I behave like a little girl!" But I couldn't stop myself.
I'll have to point out that she in no way demanded that I should do things her way. If she had, I probably would have been a lot less complacent. I don't like people who try to tell others what to do. But all she said what was she wanted - and I wanted her to be pleased.
Good thing then that she actually took on the "mother" role I assigned to her well enough to take some care of me. We had a few hours left on Sunday after the lectures ended and before the train was due, so we walked around the city a bit, shopping.
She asked me if there was anywhere I wanted to go, and I said "not really". (To my defence, I've been shopping a lot lately and didn't need anything.) What she wanted to do was to look at clothes, and we did that. But we also went to the science fiction bookstore. Her suggestion, not mine, but I was the one who gave a damn. All she showed any interest in was a collection of ST:Voyager postcards with all the women. It was an incredibly gay collection, and I can't believe it was ever intended for men.
What I showed an interest in, however, was everything. I can hardly find any Diana Wynne Jones books at home - this store had a whole shelf of them. I ended up buying four: Hexwood, A Sudden Wild Magic, Eight Days of Luke and Mixed Magic.
Since I didn't want to go up to the counter with only DWJ books, I also bought a collection of Gaiman short stories and a book by Robin McKinley. There were plenty of authors whose names I recognized from discussions online, but I couldn't for my life remembered if you guys had liked them or not. So I picked McKinley mostly because the story sounded interesting - it's quite possible I recognized the name because you think her (is it her?) books suck.
I was very sad I couldn't for my life remember which books were said to be slashy - it would have been my chance to read up on them.
So, she did take care of me. And I think my co-dependence calmed down my mother (who was nervous as hell at the thought of me going to a Big Gay Conference). It didn't stop her from calling, but just once and when we were already on our way home. She knew I was in safe hands. But it does bug me that I needed to be in any kind of hands at all.