Press Gang quotes + WiP amnesty
In celebration of the first Press Gang season now being out on DVD (I haven't bought it, but only because I'm not done with LotR yet), I decided to bring you some quotes from season 1. There were supposed to be ten of them, but I let the tale of Crazy Eddie sneak by as a bonus. It's so unfunny it's funny. :-)
"People say I'm too reasonable to have an opinion, but I don't know about that."
"Hey, can I tell you something? I mean, this might be kind of embarrassing coming from a guy you just met and everything, but, uh, I really think you should know. Say this was like the olden days, you know--thousands and thousands of years ago. I'd kill a dragon for you."
"What?"
"No, really, I would! I'd get right out there and I'd kill one! In fact, I'll make you an offer. If you'll go out with me some night this week, I'll make a definite commitment to kill the first dragon that I see."
"Are you completely out of your head?"
"Only on weekends. But I leave the lights on."
"I'm a complete and utter wimp. How could you look cool duffing me up? "
"Do you really want to hear about a mad old lady who keeps thirty-two cats?"
"That's not so mad!"
"Oh yeah? She says she's saving them up for a coat."
"That's sick."
"She's got names for them too - Sleeve, Pocket, Collar..."
"Well you must be able to use that somewhere!"
"How about 'Pet's Corner'?"
"She left when I was four. And when I was five; and when I was six. She left kind of a lot, you know. Mom and Dad always used to have these really huge rows. Which would end with my Mom coming up to my room and saying she was leaving. That was my first word, leaving. That's what I thought they were - Dad and leaving. I once counted, she left home two hundred and seventeen times. Sometimes more on a Saturday."
"Oh, well! You don't happen to be jealous of a girl that I've never even met, do you?"
"Of course I'm jealous, Spike! I wish I was a girl you've never even met!"
"Why have you got to assume I'm hiding? Why has everyone got to assume I'm hiding? It's getting so a guy can't disguise himself and stand in a cupboard anymore!"
"Is this a discussion or an opportunity to agree with you? Or don't you recognize the distinction?"
"He put a loaded shotgun in his mouth! Was it loaded…?"
"Not after he pulled the trigger."
"He's dead?"
"Well he sure didn't miss at that range."
"I don't want to be editor!"
"Kenny, let me tell you what I've got out here. I've got a nomination form for the editor election. I've got eight of my best friends waiting to see you when you come out. And I've got your trousers. Let's talk."
"Hey, I've got a story for you - a true story. Come here. I've got this uncle, right? They call him Crazy Eddie. Well, this kind of worries him. He said to me 'Spike, I don't like people calling me Crazy Eddie. My name is Bob!' But anyway, Crazy Eddie decides he needs a new grass-catcher for his mower. Wacky guy, right? So he goes to the mower shop and asks if they've got the right kind of grass-catcher for his make of mower. And the guy says 'I'm sorry, sir, but we don't have one in this week. But if you care to come back next week, we should have some stocked in, okay?' So, next week Crazy Eddie goes back to the store, buys the right kind of grass-catcher for his make of mower. [pause] Okay, I said it was true - I didn't say it was interesting."
Also, this seems to be the WiP amnesty day. I went through the unfinished stories on my hard disc and found quite a few I didn't want to give up hope on: my Harry Potter Nazi Sue, the Smallville/Archer's Goon crossover, Hermione going evil...
Finally I got to my Mark/Becky story. I was feeling very negative about that one for a while, but now I think it's kind of cute - trite, but cute. However, I realized I have completely forgotten how I'd wanted it to end. I remember that there was supposed to be sex, and that it was to be clumsy and not very good, but that's all I remember. So this beginning is definitely staying a beginning. Perfect for WiP amnesty day.
Mark and Becky and their lovers' spat.'>
Mark put his hand under Becky's shirt without taking his mouth away from hers. The bra she wore was soft cotton, none of that crisp stuff that was great to look at but made his hand itch if he fondled it. He rubbed her breast a little through the fabric.
"Mmphmm."
Tilting his head slightly, he contemplated that response. He knew that 'mmphmm' usually meant 'this feels really good, but we should quit, because my mom is in there', but now they were at his parents' place, and his mother didn't care one way or another what he did. He strongly suspected that this was Becky's way of telling him she liked what he was doing but wished he wouldn't.
To try his theory, he slipped his other hand down her trousers.
"MmMPHMmm!"
Yup, that was what it meant. Well, at least she was enjoying herself. Maybe if he moved slowly she'd keep "mmphmm"-ing all the way to bed. They hadn't really discussed sex much - he'd brought the topic up when they were first dating, and she'd said she wanted to wait until they knew each other better. He could get that. A girl risked a lot by sleeping with the wrong guy at the wrong time, and he wouldn't want her to give up her reputation for him. But they had dated a long time now, they knew each other well, and he for one was ready to move on. He let his hand slip a little further down.
"Mark!"
She drew back in protest. Okay, so wrong move.
"Come on, Becky. Don't you think it's about time we took this a bit further?"
"Well, I don't..." Her voice faltered a bit, and then resolved its strength. "I don't think I'm ready."
He didn't understand what she was talking about. If she liked him enough to make out with him for hours, surely she liked him enough to sleep with him. What was she waiting for? Someone better to show up?
"Don't you love me?"
"Of *course* I love you." She tried to take his hand, but he crossed his arms over his chest. "It's just an awfully big step to take, you know? I mean..." A smile played at her lips, and at any other time he'd adore her for that smile. "I'd be a woman."
"You're a woman now," he said. "You're my woman."
Even saying it, he felt a pang of doubt. His friends had called Becky a kid lots of times, made fun of him for dating her. Maybe they were right and she wasn't a woman. Maybe she'd never let him have her, and he was just making a huge fool of himself by asking her to, by even hanging out with a kid like her. But it didn't matter. He had to be with her, or no one at all.
"Was that supposed to be cute?" Her voice was harsh now, and he could forget any chances to get laid tonight. "'My woman'? How smarmy is that?"
"What? I can't even give you a compliment anymore?"
She pulled her sweater straight. "Maybe I should just go home."
"Yeah, maybe you should."
By the time he regretted saying that, she was already gone.
**********
"So, how's it going with that girl of yours? Becky?"
"Fine." Mark looked up from the carburator he was trying to fix, instantly suspicious. Things with Becky *were* fine. That little spat they'd had was nothing, he'd sort that out next time he met her. So what was it about the question that got him on his edge? Rick sounded too damned smug, that was it.
"Yeah? She letting you have it yet?"
And that was what it was all about, of course. Another chance to get to him about the "kid" he was dating. He should have seen it coming, but he hadn't, and contemplating the reply he knew that he couldn't stand more teasing on the matter.
"Sure," he said, and where did that treacherous word come from?
"You did? Way to go!"
"Yeah," he said, because now that he had started lying, there wasn't any point in stopping. What was he supposed to say, 'just kidding'? That'd only make things much worse. "Last night."
Rick gave him a friendly pat in the back, showing an immense interest in his imaginary sexlife.
"So, how was she?"
"Wonderful," he said. How could she not be, after all? But even saying it he knew that it wouldn't be enough, that he'd have to keep lying. So he could either praise her highly and sound cool, but have Rick know he was lying, or he could actually try to make his lies sound convincing. "You know, for a beginner. Like, she's still a bit tense and stuff, but she's willing to try, and that's what matters, right?"
Rick stared at him and shook his head slowly. "Poor thing. You're getting lovesick." He touched the side of Mark's face. "Oh! And it's coming out your ears!"
"Shut up." Even though he punched Rick for the comment and got involved in a wrestling match until he had to plead for mercy, Mark was feeling very pleased with himself. Getting teased for lovesickness was a lot better than getting teased for dating a kid.
"This is cause for celebration!" Rick declared, hauling Mark off the ground. "Come on. I'll call some of the guys and we'll go see a movie or something. No more blue balls for Mark Healey, that's a red letter day."
**********
Lanford wasn't a very big town. Becky was a fairly popular high school girl. It took her all of three hours to hear the news.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Dana asked her as they were heading for a slushie.
"Huh? Tell you what?" Becky had been going through her history homework in her head and figured she had missed part of the conversation, but silently repeating everything she and Dana had said since they met up she still couldn't figure out what Dana was talking about.
"You know. You and Mark." They entered the diner, and Dana lowered her voice. "Having sex."
"What!?"
"Shh!" Dana smiled at the girl behind the counter. "Two raspberry slushies, please."
They got their slushies and found a table.
"Are you saying it's not true?"
"No! Yes! I didn't sleep with him!" Becky had already forgotten about her slushie, while Dana was clearly enjoying hers. "Who told you I did?"
"Well, I was asking Dennis if could do something tonight, and he told me he'd already made plans with Rick to take out Mark because he'd finally gotten laid. His words, not mine."
"I can't believe this!" Becky pushed her slushie aside and glared at it as if it was somehow responsible for her boyfriend's bad behaviour.
"Yeah, it sucks that he'd lie," Dana agreed meekly, and then, "So why *haven't* you slept with him?"
"I don't know." She pulled the slushie back, wanting to have something to watch besides her friend's curious face. Dana wasn't trying to make her uncomfortable, she knew that, but there was still that gap between the women who'd had sex and the girls who hadn't.
It was an awfully big step to take, but she wasn't sure she could explain that, or even understand it herself. There were times when she wanted to do it, when she wanted to let Mark touch her wherever he desired, because if it felt so good when he kissed her face, who knew what it would feel like further down? She felt weird all over just thinking about it.
But she had never been sure that she could trust him, and for good reason too, as she'd just discovered. How *dared* he lie about her to all his friends just to make himself look better?
"Are you okay?" Dana asked, interrupting her thought.
"Fine. Do you have a quarter? I need to make a phone call."
She marched up to the payphone with Dana's quarter and dialed the familiar number. Was there some way to erase the memory of a phone number from your head? She hoped it was, because she'd sure hate to have to remember the numbers reaching that asshole for the rest of her life.
"Mark?" she said when she heard his voice, her own as sweet as tooth decay. "I thought you'd be out celebrating by now."
She'd intended to keep her cool, make some quip in the line of 'was it as good for you as it was for me', but when he started coming with him lamebrain excuses, she just snapped. "I don't care what you pals think, and I don't want to hear how much you love me. In fact, I don't want to hear another word out of your lying mouth, you bastard!"
She slammed the phone hard into the wall a couple of times. "You hear that, you bastard? That's the last thing you'll ever hear from me. Now, go to hell!"
Returning to her table, she found Dana sitting mouth agape.
"What? Was it overkill?"
"I'm not sure anything is overkill when it comes to guys," Dana said, collecting herself. "Although I think the waitress may be calling the police just about now. Still, I have to say..." She shook her head slowly. "Great dumping."
"Thanks," Becky said, wishing she could feel proud of herself, but she didn't. She'd always known that Mark wasn't the sharpest tool in the box - Darlene called him the 'amazing idiot boy', and even though that was both unfair and mean it wan't completely without cause. Maybe, if she was to be fair with herself, that was one reason she had always thought she could trust him. That he just didn't have what it took to mess with her.
"The amazing idiot girl," she muttered to herself.
**********
"It's, like, perfectly normal," Barbara said, throwing her towel carelessly onto the bench. Unlike most of the other girls, she used it only to dry herself, not to cover up. "Lots of girls have uneven breasts."
She spoke with the superior clarity of someone who'd never had to worry about such things. Becky couldn't help feeling sorry for Maria who'd brought up the subject. Not that Maria seemed any more bothered by her friend's words than she was comforted by them. She was too busy crying.
"He called me ugly!"
"Well, then he's an idiot," said Barbara in a determined voice, and this time Becky actually agreed with her.
"Guys are such assholes," she said, buttoning up her jeans.
Barbara gave her an interested look between long eyelashes that had to be fake, although Becky had yet to prove it. "Is that what happened between you and Mark?"
"No." The question was beyond nosy, but there was no point in getting angry with people like Barbara.
"Well, I didn't mean *literally*, of course," Barbara droned on. "There's nothing wrong with your breasts. But it wouldn't be the first time the old sex thing put a damper on a relationship."
So Barbara had heard the lies as well. Damn it all to hell. She didn't need some Cosmo-reading busybody looking into her love life.
"I'd really rather not talk about it."
"I mean, just because a guy voices some complaints, that doesn't mean..."
Becky's head jerked up from her socks that she had been putting on. "What the hell would he have to complain about?"
"Oh, so it was completely satisfactory, then?"
"Of course it was!"
The girls all viewed her in a form of gleeful interest, Dana rather wide-eyed, and she realized what she'd just said. Well, she'd rather die than take it back in front of that Barbara Jennings. She knew she shouldn't let herself be bothered by the things Barbara said, but she did.
"It was fine," she said, sticking her feet into her shoes. "Just fine."
**********
There was a knock on the door, so tentative Mark at first wasn't sure he'd heard right. He put down the magazine he was reading and waited for another knock. It didn't come, but someone was moving outside the door, ready to leave.
It could be Jehova's Witnesses or someone, but there was something familiar in those steps, and even though it might be wishful thinking, he wasn't about to take that chance.
"Becky?" he asked even before he'd opened the door, and it was. He blinked upon seeing her, completely dumbfounded.
"Yeah," she said, and her cheeks rounded sweetly in a smile. "Can I come in?"
He stepped aside, still not having found his voice.
"Thing is," she said when she had closed the door beside herself, "that I had a conversation with some other girls in the locker room today. And I said... Well, it doesn't matter exactly what I said. What it implied was that we'd slept together."
He finally found something to say. "Huh?"
She looked down. "I know. After what I said to you, it's... But Barbara just kept pushing, and I couldn't see that it was any of her *business*!"
This was tricky to put together. When she refused to sleep with him, he'd assumed it was to keep her reputation intact - but now she'd thrown that reputation to the wind anyway. So what was the problem?
"Okay," he said cautiously, scared to say something wrong. But 'okay' was safe. It wouldn't get him into trouble.
"She believed me, too," Becky said, as if that part was the most amazing. Mark didn't see why. He'd never found Becky very hard to believe. "So people really can't tell, can they?"
"That you're a virgin?" The pieces of the puzzle were slowly coming together. "Why would they?"
"People say I'm too reasonable to have an opinion, but I don't know about that."
"Hey, can I tell you something? I mean, this might be kind of embarrassing coming from a guy you just met and everything, but, uh, I really think you should know. Say this was like the olden days, you know--thousands and thousands of years ago. I'd kill a dragon for you."
"What?"
"No, really, I would! I'd get right out there and I'd kill one! In fact, I'll make you an offer. If you'll go out with me some night this week, I'll make a definite commitment to kill the first dragon that I see."
"Are you completely out of your head?"
"Only on weekends. But I leave the lights on."
"I'm a complete and utter wimp. How could you look cool duffing me up? "
"Do you really want to hear about a mad old lady who keeps thirty-two cats?"
"That's not so mad!"
"Oh yeah? She says she's saving them up for a coat."
"That's sick."
"She's got names for them too - Sleeve, Pocket, Collar..."
"Well you must be able to use that somewhere!"
"How about 'Pet's Corner'?"
"She left when I was four. And when I was five; and when I was six. She left kind of a lot, you know. Mom and Dad always used to have these really huge rows. Which would end with my Mom coming up to my room and saying she was leaving. That was my first word, leaving. That's what I thought they were - Dad and leaving. I once counted, she left home two hundred and seventeen times. Sometimes more on a Saturday."
"Oh, well! You don't happen to be jealous of a girl that I've never even met, do you?"
"Of course I'm jealous, Spike! I wish I was a girl you've never even met!"
"Why have you got to assume I'm hiding? Why has everyone got to assume I'm hiding? It's getting so a guy can't disguise himself and stand in a cupboard anymore!"
"Is this a discussion or an opportunity to agree with you? Or don't you recognize the distinction?"
"He put a loaded shotgun in his mouth! Was it loaded…?"
"Not after he pulled the trigger."
"He's dead?"
"Well he sure didn't miss at that range."
"I don't want to be editor!"
"Kenny, let me tell you what I've got out here. I've got a nomination form for the editor election. I've got eight of my best friends waiting to see you when you come out. And I've got your trousers. Let's talk."
"Hey, I've got a story for you - a true story. Come here. I've got this uncle, right? They call him Crazy Eddie. Well, this kind of worries him. He said to me 'Spike, I don't like people calling me Crazy Eddie. My name is Bob!' But anyway, Crazy Eddie decides he needs a new grass-catcher for his mower. Wacky guy, right? So he goes to the mower shop and asks if they've got the right kind of grass-catcher for his make of mower. And the guy says 'I'm sorry, sir, but we don't have one in this week. But if you care to come back next week, we should have some stocked in, okay?' So, next week Crazy Eddie goes back to the store, buys the right kind of grass-catcher for his make of mower. [pause] Okay, I said it was true - I didn't say it was interesting."
Also, this seems to be the WiP amnesty day. I went through the unfinished stories on my hard disc and found quite a few I didn't want to give up hope on: my Harry Potter Nazi Sue, the Smallville/Archer's Goon crossover, Hermione going evil...
Finally I got to my Mark/Becky story. I was feeling very negative about that one for a while, but now I think it's kind of cute - trite, but cute. However, I realized I have completely forgotten how I'd wanted it to end. I remember that there was supposed to be sex, and that it was to be clumsy and not very good, but that's all I remember. So this beginning is definitely staying a beginning. Perfect for WiP amnesty day.
Mark and Becky and their lovers' spat.'>
Mark put his hand under Becky's shirt without taking his mouth away from hers. The bra she wore was soft cotton, none of that crisp stuff that was great to look at but made his hand itch if he fondled it. He rubbed her breast a little through the fabric.
"Mmphmm."
Tilting his head slightly, he contemplated that response. He knew that 'mmphmm' usually meant 'this feels really good, but we should quit, because my mom is in there', but now they were at his parents' place, and his mother didn't care one way or another what he did. He strongly suspected that this was Becky's way of telling him she liked what he was doing but wished he wouldn't.
To try his theory, he slipped his other hand down her trousers.
"MmMPHMmm!"
Yup, that was what it meant. Well, at least she was enjoying herself. Maybe if he moved slowly she'd keep "mmphmm"-ing all the way to bed. They hadn't really discussed sex much - he'd brought the topic up when they were first dating, and she'd said she wanted to wait until they knew each other better. He could get that. A girl risked a lot by sleeping with the wrong guy at the wrong time, and he wouldn't want her to give up her reputation for him. But they had dated a long time now, they knew each other well, and he for one was ready to move on. He let his hand slip a little further down.
"Mark!"
She drew back in protest. Okay, so wrong move.
"Come on, Becky. Don't you think it's about time we took this a bit further?"
"Well, I don't..." Her voice faltered a bit, and then resolved its strength. "I don't think I'm ready."
He didn't understand what she was talking about. If she liked him enough to make out with him for hours, surely she liked him enough to sleep with him. What was she waiting for? Someone better to show up?
"Don't you love me?"
"Of *course* I love you." She tried to take his hand, but he crossed his arms over his chest. "It's just an awfully big step to take, you know? I mean..." A smile played at her lips, and at any other time he'd adore her for that smile. "I'd be a woman."
"You're a woman now," he said. "You're my woman."
Even saying it, he felt a pang of doubt. His friends had called Becky a kid lots of times, made fun of him for dating her. Maybe they were right and she wasn't a woman. Maybe she'd never let him have her, and he was just making a huge fool of himself by asking her to, by even hanging out with a kid like her. But it didn't matter. He had to be with her, or no one at all.
"Was that supposed to be cute?" Her voice was harsh now, and he could forget any chances to get laid tonight. "'My woman'? How smarmy is that?"
"What? I can't even give you a compliment anymore?"
She pulled her sweater straight. "Maybe I should just go home."
"Yeah, maybe you should."
By the time he regretted saying that, she was already gone.
**********
"So, how's it going with that girl of yours? Becky?"
"Fine." Mark looked up from the carburator he was trying to fix, instantly suspicious. Things with Becky *were* fine. That little spat they'd had was nothing, he'd sort that out next time he met her. So what was it about the question that got him on his edge? Rick sounded too damned smug, that was it.
"Yeah? She letting you have it yet?"
And that was what it was all about, of course. Another chance to get to him about the "kid" he was dating. He should have seen it coming, but he hadn't, and contemplating the reply he knew that he couldn't stand more teasing on the matter.
"Sure," he said, and where did that treacherous word come from?
"You did? Way to go!"
"Yeah," he said, because now that he had started lying, there wasn't any point in stopping. What was he supposed to say, 'just kidding'? That'd only make things much worse. "Last night."
Rick gave him a friendly pat in the back, showing an immense interest in his imaginary sexlife.
"So, how was she?"
"Wonderful," he said. How could she not be, after all? But even saying it he knew that it wouldn't be enough, that he'd have to keep lying. So he could either praise her highly and sound cool, but have Rick know he was lying, or he could actually try to make his lies sound convincing. "You know, for a beginner. Like, she's still a bit tense and stuff, but she's willing to try, and that's what matters, right?"
Rick stared at him and shook his head slowly. "Poor thing. You're getting lovesick." He touched the side of Mark's face. "Oh! And it's coming out your ears!"
"Shut up." Even though he punched Rick for the comment and got involved in a wrestling match until he had to plead for mercy, Mark was feeling very pleased with himself. Getting teased for lovesickness was a lot better than getting teased for dating a kid.
"This is cause for celebration!" Rick declared, hauling Mark off the ground. "Come on. I'll call some of the guys and we'll go see a movie or something. No more blue balls for Mark Healey, that's a red letter day."
**********
Lanford wasn't a very big town. Becky was a fairly popular high school girl. It took her all of three hours to hear the news.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Dana asked her as they were heading for a slushie.
"Huh? Tell you what?" Becky had been going through her history homework in her head and figured she had missed part of the conversation, but silently repeating everything she and Dana had said since they met up she still couldn't figure out what Dana was talking about.
"You know. You and Mark." They entered the diner, and Dana lowered her voice. "Having sex."
"What!?"
"Shh!" Dana smiled at the girl behind the counter. "Two raspberry slushies, please."
They got their slushies and found a table.
"Are you saying it's not true?"
"No! Yes! I didn't sleep with him!" Becky had already forgotten about her slushie, while Dana was clearly enjoying hers. "Who told you I did?"
"Well, I was asking Dennis if could do something tonight, and he told me he'd already made plans with Rick to take out Mark because he'd finally gotten laid. His words, not mine."
"I can't believe this!" Becky pushed her slushie aside and glared at it as if it was somehow responsible for her boyfriend's bad behaviour.
"Yeah, it sucks that he'd lie," Dana agreed meekly, and then, "So why *haven't* you slept with him?"
"I don't know." She pulled the slushie back, wanting to have something to watch besides her friend's curious face. Dana wasn't trying to make her uncomfortable, she knew that, but there was still that gap between the women who'd had sex and the girls who hadn't.
It was an awfully big step to take, but she wasn't sure she could explain that, or even understand it herself. There were times when she wanted to do it, when she wanted to let Mark touch her wherever he desired, because if it felt so good when he kissed her face, who knew what it would feel like further down? She felt weird all over just thinking about it.
But she had never been sure that she could trust him, and for good reason too, as she'd just discovered. How *dared* he lie about her to all his friends just to make himself look better?
"Are you okay?" Dana asked, interrupting her thought.
"Fine. Do you have a quarter? I need to make a phone call."
She marched up to the payphone with Dana's quarter and dialed the familiar number. Was there some way to erase the memory of a phone number from your head? She hoped it was, because she'd sure hate to have to remember the numbers reaching that asshole for the rest of her life.
"Mark?" she said when she heard his voice, her own as sweet as tooth decay. "I thought you'd be out celebrating by now."
She'd intended to keep her cool, make some quip in the line of 'was it as good for you as it was for me', but when he started coming with him lamebrain excuses, she just snapped. "I don't care what you pals think, and I don't want to hear how much you love me. In fact, I don't want to hear another word out of your lying mouth, you bastard!"
She slammed the phone hard into the wall a couple of times. "You hear that, you bastard? That's the last thing you'll ever hear from me. Now, go to hell!"
Returning to her table, she found Dana sitting mouth agape.
"What? Was it overkill?"
"I'm not sure anything is overkill when it comes to guys," Dana said, collecting herself. "Although I think the waitress may be calling the police just about now. Still, I have to say..." She shook her head slowly. "Great dumping."
"Thanks," Becky said, wishing she could feel proud of herself, but she didn't. She'd always known that Mark wasn't the sharpest tool in the box - Darlene called him the 'amazing idiot boy', and even though that was both unfair and mean it wan't completely without cause. Maybe, if she was to be fair with herself, that was one reason she had always thought she could trust him. That he just didn't have what it took to mess with her.
"The amazing idiot girl," she muttered to herself.
**********
"It's, like, perfectly normal," Barbara said, throwing her towel carelessly onto the bench. Unlike most of the other girls, she used it only to dry herself, not to cover up. "Lots of girls have uneven breasts."
She spoke with the superior clarity of someone who'd never had to worry about such things. Becky couldn't help feeling sorry for Maria who'd brought up the subject. Not that Maria seemed any more bothered by her friend's words than she was comforted by them. She was too busy crying.
"He called me ugly!"
"Well, then he's an idiot," said Barbara in a determined voice, and this time Becky actually agreed with her.
"Guys are such assholes," she said, buttoning up her jeans.
Barbara gave her an interested look between long eyelashes that had to be fake, although Becky had yet to prove it. "Is that what happened between you and Mark?"
"No." The question was beyond nosy, but there was no point in getting angry with people like Barbara.
"Well, I didn't mean *literally*, of course," Barbara droned on. "There's nothing wrong with your breasts. But it wouldn't be the first time the old sex thing put a damper on a relationship."
So Barbara had heard the lies as well. Damn it all to hell. She didn't need some Cosmo-reading busybody looking into her love life.
"I'd really rather not talk about it."
"I mean, just because a guy voices some complaints, that doesn't mean..."
Becky's head jerked up from her socks that she had been putting on. "What the hell would he have to complain about?"
"Oh, so it was completely satisfactory, then?"
"Of course it was!"
The girls all viewed her in a form of gleeful interest, Dana rather wide-eyed, and she realized what she'd just said. Well, she'd rather die than take it back in front of that Barbara Jennings. She knew she shouldn't let herself be bothered by the things Barbara said, but she did.
"It was fine," she said, sticking her feet into her shoes. "Just fine."
**********
There was a knock on the door, so tentative Mark at first wasn't sure he'd heard right. He put down the magazine he was reading and waited for another knock. It didn't come, but someone was moving outside the door, ready to leave.
It could be Jehova's Witnesses or someone, but there was something familiar in those steps, and even though it might be wishful thinking, he wasn't about to take that chance.
"Becky?" he asked even before he'd opened the door, and it was. He blinked upon seeing her, completely dumbfounded.
"Yeah," she said, and her cheeks rounded sweetly in a smile. "Can I come in?"
He stepped aside, still not having found his voice.
"Thing is," she said when she had closed the door beside herself, "that I had a conversation with some other girls in the locker room today. And I said... Well, it doesn't matter exactly what I said. What it implied was that we'd slept together."
He finally found something to say. "Huh?"
She looked down. "I know. After what I said to you, it's... But Barbara just kept pushing, and I couldn't see that it was any of her *business*!"
This was tricky to put together. When she refused to sleep with him, he'd assumed it was to keep her reputation intact - but now she'd thrown that reputation to the wind anyway. So what was the problem?
"Okay," he said cautiously, scared to say something wrong. But 'okay' was safe. It wouldn't get him into trouble.
"She believed me, too," Becky said, as if that part was the most amazing. Mark didn't see why. He'd never found Becky very hard to believe. "So people really can't tell, can they?"
"That you're a virgin?" The pieces of the puzzle were slowly coming together. "Why would they?"