you can try all you want to, we're not gunna change.
someone told me i was going to get scurvy if i didn't start eating better. which is somewhat absurd, since you get scurvy (i think) from not getting vitamins and like every good american college lady i take a muli every morning (with extra calcium!) regardless, however, of how absurd this statement may have been, it was still enough with me once i went to publix to encourage me to buy some oranges. i usually meticulously pick out my produce individually, but i was pressed for time, and not shopping alone, so in order to look like less of a douchebag, i risked it on one of the shrinkwrapped six-packs. i hoped for the best.
and the best is what i got! i can happily tell you that in the last week, i have consumed four wonderful, sweet, juicy, very nearly orgasmic oranges. so this morning, when i was late for work and wondering whether i had time to get einstein's or if i should just stop off for a delightfully disgusting bacon egg and cheese biscuit from the gimp, i spotted my remaining two oranges. game over. water, orange, and granola bar. that's my plan. also, it made me feel so much healthier than bacon egg and cheese.
but oh was i disappointed! this morning's orange, to begin with, didn't have that convenient little navel-y hole that make navel oranges so much easier to peel than regular oranges, so i had to struggle with my chewed-off nails, a ballpoint pen, and finally a spfork to even start peeling it. the sections were all hardcore stuck together, so i had to eat most of them in bunches of threes (i was too tired, by this point, to press the issue and get them apart). and it wasn't juicy and sweet and orgasmic like its shrinkwrapped cousins. i didn't even finish the thing. and now i'm all hungry and wishing i'd gotten a greasy ole biscuit because at least then, i'd know how to open it without stabbing myself with a ballpoint pen.
and the best is what i got! i can happily tell you that in the last week, i have consumed four wonderful, sweet, juicy, very nearly orgasmic oranges. so this morning, when i was late for work and wondering whether i had time to get einstein's or if i should just stop off for a delightfully disgusting bacon egg and cheese biscuit from the gimp, i spotted my remaining two oranges. game over. water, orange, and granola bar. that's my plan. also, it made me feel so much healthier than bacon egg and cheese.
but oh was i disappointed! this morning's orange, to begin with, didn't have that convenient little navel-y hole that make navel oranges so much easier to peel than regular oranges, so i had to struggle with my chewed-off nails, a ballpoint pen, and finally a spfork to even start peeling it. the sections were all hardcore stuck together, so i had to eat most of them in bunches of threes (i was too tired, by this point, to press the issue and get them apart). and it wasn't juicy and sweet and orgasmic like its shrinkwrapped cousins. i didn't even finish the thing. and now i'm all hungry and wishing i'd gotten a greasy ole biscuit because at least then, i'd know how to open it without stabbing myself with a ballpoint pen.