My racist secrets.
If the USA is ever going to get past racism, it has to start with someone being willing to talk about their own racist thoughts that no one else may know about. I volunteer.
When I was in 5th grade, I was bullied relentlessy by many of my classmates. One of the most persistent of them was a black kid. I don't remember everything about the day he slapped me beyond the fact that he did it. Was my wailing about being bullied just to much for him to handle? Did he have a home life that did not encourage proper respect towards women and girls? Was I calling him mean names back? All of the above? Something else entirely? I honestly can't remember. What I do remember is us going to the principal's office and the principal telling me to apologize to him.
That infuriated me. Why should I have to apologize to him? He's the one who was violent! Being a very precocious child whose parents listened to Rush Limbaugh, I was convinced that the only reason I had to apologize to him was that they didn't want to be seen as racist for punishing a black kid. And I thought that for quite a few years.
In hindsight, that was very racist and bigoted of me to think that I was the one being opressed in this situation. No one was opressed in this situation. Everyone was just acting like the imperfect human beings that they were. And if I don't want God to judge me for my imperfections, what gives me the right to judge others?
I've had other racist thoughts over the years, mostly planted by conservative commentators on the radio. You know the ones. "Why can't Mexican immigrants come here legally?" "Why is black culture so thuggish?" On and on like that. That's why I don't listen to such folks anymore (that and their continual doomsaying really affect my mental state). After all, how can you keep track of the laws of foreign lands when you are literally running for your life from bloodthirsty drug cartels? And isn't it white people who encouraged the baser elements of black culture?
I don't want to be racist anymore. Not even just in my head, where no one else would know. Because I believe that God knows, and will hold me accountable at Judgement Day for it if I don't repent of it. He will hold all people accountable for what think. Christ was no respector of persons. We shouldn't be, either.
When I was in 5th grade, I was bullied relentlessy by many of my classmates. One of the most persistent of them was a black kid. I don't remember everything about the day he slapped me beyond the fact that he did it. Was my wailing about being bullied just to much for him to handle? Did he have a home life that did not encourage proper respect towards women and girls? Was I calling him mean names back? All of the above? Something else entirely? I honestly can't remember. What I do remember is us going to the principal's office and the principal telling me to apologize to him.
That infuriated me. Why should I have to apologize to him? He's the one who was violent! Being a very precocious child whose parents listened to Rush Limbaugh, I was convinced that the only reason I had to apologize to him was that they didn't want to be seen as racist for punishing a black kid. And I thought that for quite a few years.
In hindsight, that was very racist and bigoted of me to think that I was the one being opressed in this situation. No one was opressed in this situation. Everyone was just acting like the imperfect human beings that they were. And if I don't want God to judge me for my imperfections, what gives me the right to judge others?
I've had other racist thoughts over the years, mostly planted by conservative commentators on the radio. You know the ones. "Why can't Mexican immigrants come here legally?" "Why is black culture so thuggish?" On and on like that. That's why I don't listen to such folks anymore (that and their continual doomsaying really affect my mental state). After all, how can you keep track of the laws of foreign lands when you are literally running for your life from bloodthirsty drug cartels? And isn't it white people who encouraged the baser elements of black culture?
I don't want to be racist anymore. Not even just in my head, where no one else would know. Because I believe that God knows, and will hold me accountable at Judgement Day for it if I don't repent of it. He will hold all people accountable for what think. Christ was no respector of persons. We shouldn't be, either.