I just want to take a moment to say, thank you!
Less than an hour after my post - and by that I mean "while I was in the shower" - I had one person offer to loan me the full amount and one person offer to take up any potential slack; and then minutes ago I had one person who heard through a friend that I was having troubles send me a small gift with no obligation to repay the money.
So just... thank you
yanagi_sen,
anonymousaussie, and
merfilly for being such wonderful people. Filly, thanks for boosting the signal ♥