what....

Aug 02, 2004 18:40

"in the days of my youth i was told what it means to be a man. and now i've reached that age i try to do all those things the best i can. no matter how i try i find my way to the same old jam. good times bad times you know i've had my share". that's good times bad times by led zepplin. i know barb knows that. my mind is all over the place right now. mostly becuase, this sagittarius is feeling seriously caged lately. with my feet standing still and my arrow pointing up. i remember some more lyrics from a song that's not by led zeppelin. "i'm here but, i'm really gone". my mind is all over the place because, my body isn't. and i'm restless. i want to get out. i want to do something fun with a friend. i'd say i want to do something fun with my boyfriend but, when i get out sometimes i get a bit loud and it's not so, flattering. meaning i laugh loud and i say things kind of loud. do i embaress him when i start laughing loudly and being bold? maybe. but, sometimes i think "i'm never going to see any of these people again." like the night i was out with some friends. all of us girls. and when we went to this one restaurant and we were ready to leave we went up to the register and someone had looked into the other side of the restaurant where there was another room. and came back over to us and said something about cute guys being in there. so, i stuck my head in there and i said "there are cute guys in here?" and i looked around. and they grabbed me by my arm and dragged me out. they were embarressed. i wasn't. i said "it's not like we're ever going to see them again." and when we walked out i walked over to the window and i smiled really big at the guys and waved. and again someone grabbed me and pulled me and we all walked away laughing. that's me without beer. i don't drink any alcohol. and i don't do any drugs. and anyone i've ever known whose seen me get wild thanks me for never doing drugs or alcohol. i guess i'd be more wild? who knows. a bunch of us went out for a friends birthday. and we went to this dance club. it was really fun. and all of the girls except me were going to do this shot called a blow job. and they have whipped cream on them. for those of you who didn't know that. anyway, my friends did it all at the same time. they bent down. they put their mouths on the shot glasses and all at once they threw their heads back sucking down the alcohol. but, before they could swallow it i yelled "don't forget to swallow the white stuff!" and all of them spit their shots all over the bar and the bar tender. the bar tender gave me a look. i just laughed. and they all started again. everyone laughed after they did their shots. the 2nd time. with me not saying a word. i want to go out. someone let me out!
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