Victory Through Desk Supplies
I think you can take over any company if you commandeer enough desk supplies. "Victory Through Desk Supplies" is my new motto. All you do is gradually clean out the desk supply cabinets as they are stocked. The company will eventually be spending so much money on desk supplies, it'll go under. Then you take the huge quantities of desk supplies you've got, sell them, and use the money to buy the company at a bargain price. There should even be enough money left over to get it going again. I don't see how this plan could fail.
I think health foods are a bad idea. Eating is healthy for us not just physically but psychologically as well. If all we eat are low fat cupcakes, we're not going to get the required level of satisfaction from eating them, and each time we take a bite, the subconscious irritation builds a little more until finally we suffer nervous breakdowns and open fire in school yards. The synthetic fat product Olestra is ushering in a whole new danger. Olestra is kind of an inverse fat -- since its molecular structure is the inverse of that of regular fat, your taste buds can't detect much of a difference, but your body can't ingest it, and it comes out pretty much the same way it went in. Is this the start of a new trend? Are we going to see products on the shelves with all sorts of inverse proteins in them? If so, I predict everyone will starve to death. We'll be eating all these things, but our bodies won't absorb them. We'll get no nourishment from eating. We'll die. But it won't be a painful death -- our stomachs will have inverse food in them. We'll drop dead from starvation without even realizing we were hungry.
I think health foods are a bad idea. Eating is healthy for us not just physically but psychologically as well. If all we eat are low fat cupcakes, we're not going to get the required level of satisfaction from eating them, and each time we take a bite, the subconscious irritation builds a little more until finally we suffer nervous breakdowns and open fire in school yards. The synthetic fat product Olestra is ushering in a whole new danger. Olestra is kind of an inverse fat -- since its molecular structure is the inverse of that of regular fat, your taste buds can't detect much of a difference, but your body can't ingest it, and it comes out pretty much the same way it went in. Is this the start of a new trend? Are we going to see products on the shelves with all sorts of inverse proteins in them? If so, I predict everyone will starve to death. We'll be eating all these things, but our bodies won't absorb them. We'll get no nourishment from eating. We'll die. But it won't be a painful death -- our stomachs will have inverse food in them. We'll drop dead from starvation without even realizing we were hungry.