Fic: Nobody Knows It But Me - Chapter 1
Rating: T
Words: 532
Spoilers: A lot from Season 6.
Pairing: House/Cuddy
Author's Note: Two-shot. 1st chapter is written in House's POV. Reviews are appreciated. Link to fanfiction: www.fanfiction.net/s/5544180/1/Nobody_Knows_It_But_Me
Broken.
My heart shattered into pieces when I realized I was duped, not once, but multiple times. The awkward moment with Lucas in your hotel room. The breakfast with Wilson, Lucas, and you. The Thanksgiving dinner invitation even though I had other intentions. The fake breakup.
Remember the dance in the 80’s party? That night I poured my heart out for you. Something that I would never do before. I told you I wanted to call you after our first and only night together, because I wanted you to know you weren’t just some random horny girl to me.
Why did you run away? Many times you tried to break my walls down and didn’t give up, but this time I broke my walls down for you, yet you turned your back to me.
You knew about my hallucination probably from that big mouth Wilson. You must think it was pathetic. Asking you for help, detoxing, spending a night with you. All the impossible things for me to do in your eyes. And you should know that it was my humiliation, yet you told your lover boy. You told him about the hallucination and me being institutionalized. Not only you violated the agreement between an employer and employee, you betrayed me as a friend. You may not know it, but I trusted you, and I still do.
I feel like a fool for still trusting you.
I want to blame you for this, for breaking my heart. But I know I shouldn’t because it’s me who is at fault. I insulted you with harsh words, crashed your dates, sexually harassed you, played with your feelings, screwed with you at work, disobeyed you, refused to do clinic hours, and did all other things. Nevertheless, you never left me. You still trusted me, and put up with all my shit, until now. Until you started dating Lucas specifically.
The feeling of being abandoned by YOU sucks. And you have no idea how much I want “us” to happen.
I just wish that we will have another chance. Such a chance given by you that will change you and me forever. You know that drunken love confession I made to Lucas that night before you came and told me about your fake breakup with him? I didn’t lie about any of that. Yes, it was intended to be a trap for Lucas and you, but the words were true. I am pathetic and I’ve always been the same old S.O.B. I used up all the 832 chances you gave me because I took the chances and YOU for granted.
And I love you.
But because of this, I am going to let you go. Seeing you and Lucas staying together even after my little “fake” confession made me realize that you two are happy together. I don’t want to ruin it for you this time. After all the crap I’ve done to you, it’s time for you to be truly happy, without me being in your life.
I don’t deserve you anyway, so I will just bottle my love for you and our history up, never letting them see the light again.
Words: 532
Spoilers: A lot from Season 6.
Pairing: House/Cuddy
Author's Note: Two-shot. 1st chapter is written in House's POV. Reviews are appreciated. Link to fanfiction: www.fanfiction.net/s/5544180/1/Nobody_Knows_It_But_Me
Broken.
My heart shattered into pieces when I realized I was duped, not once, but multiple times. The awkward moment with Lucas in your hotel room. The breakfast with Wilson, Lucas, and you. The Thanksgiving dinner invitation even though I had other intentions. The fake breakup.
Remember the dance in the 80’s party? That night I poured my heart out for you. Something that I would never do before. I told you I wanted to call you after our first and only night together, because I wanted you to know you weren’t just some random horny girl to me.
Why did you run away? Many times you tried to break my walls down and didn’t give up, but this time I broke my walls down for you, yet you turned your back to me.
You knew about my hallucination probably from that big mouth Wilson. You must think it was pathetic. Asking you for help, detoxing, spending a night with you. All the impossible things for me to do in your eyes. And you should know that it was my humiliation, yet you told your lover boy. You told him about the hallucination and me being institutionalized. Not only you violated the agreement between an employer and employee, you betrayed me as a friend. You may not know it, but I trusted you, and I still do.
I feel like a fool for still trusting you.
I want to blame you for this, for breaking my heart. But I know I shouldn’t because it’s me who is at fault. I insulted you with harsh words, crashed your dates, sexually harassed you, played with your feelings, screwed with you at work, disobeyed you, refused to do clinic hours, and did all other things. Nevertheless, you never left me. You still trusted me, and put up with all my shit, until now. Until you started dating Lucas specifically.
The feeling of being abandoned by YOU sucks. And you have no idea how much I want “us” to happen.
I just wish that we will have another chance. Such a chance given by you that will change you and me forever. You know that drunken love confession I made to Lucas that night before you came and told me about your fake breakup with him? I didn’t lie about any of that. Yes, it was intended to be a trap for Lucas and you, but the words were true. I am pathetic and I’ve always been the same old S.O.B. I used up all the 832 chances you gave me because I took the chances and YOU for granted.
And I love you.
But because of this, I am going to let you go. Seeing you and Lucas staying together even after my little “fake” confession made me realize that you two are happy together. I don’t want to ruin it for you this time. After all the crap I’ve done to you, it’s time for you to be truly happy, without me being in your life.
I don’t deserve you anyway, so I will just bottle my love for you and our history up, never letting them see the light again.