Script Mayhem!!!
I did not write this, it's intended to be linked elsewhere. If you read it, I'm sorry you've wasted your time and hope you've had a good laugh, because it's pretty bad.
JOSEFOV
CHARACTERS:
David is a shy but intelligent Jewish-American college graduate. Talkative in familiar company (almost exclusively about “interesting” subjects), he tends to clam up in front of strangers. His sexuality is not exactly latent, but he has yet to find “success” with women, either emotionally or physically. He does not resent his Jewish background, but he does not yet understand what it means to him. He carries the incorrect belief that to relate to other Jews he must tout his Jewish “credentials” and he has yet to understand that his Judaism, like any facet of one's identity, does not actively guide one's lifestyle or decisions, only influences one's behavior at a more subconscious level.
Jason is the traveling, gentile companion of David. Roommates for the entirety of their college career, Jason has convinced David to backpack through Europe together as a last “hurrah!” before entering the “real world.” Jason's personality is much different from David's; Jason is outgoing and social, attractive and charming to women, however empty his conversation. Jason likes David in spite of his quirkiness and treats David much as a side-kick, a wing-man, a set-up man in front of whom Jason is all the more appealing and attractive. Despite his social skills, however, Jason's interactions with women are entirely superficial and he egoistically tallies his “conquests” (privately, at least) as did Don Giovanni. This trip through Europe is, for him, a sort of sexual anthropology.
Rivka, slightly older than the men, is a native Czech of Jewish descent. Despite being on the rebound and in search of a hook-up on account of a recent break-up, she is the best-adjusted of the three characters. She understands both her relations to others (on an emotional and sexual level) and her relation to the facets of her own identity (as a Czech and as a Jew) more maturely than the two boys.
BACKSTORY:
David and Jason have arrived at Prague near the tail-end of their fall journey through Europe. Despite their close friendship prior to Europe, tensions are running relatively high due to friction between their personalities on this long travel. They have just gotten in to Prague and each has a different idea of what they should see. David, mindful of his mother's wishes that he explore the “Jewish” side of Prague while he's there, wants to head straight to Josefov to sight-see. He is looking for answers regarding his identity, and, given his jealousy concerning Jason's success with women, he wants to steer their experiences away from that arena and towards one wherein he is better equipped to succeed and compete.
SCENE 1 - Walking on the street in Josefov
[The scene should open with a shot of a noted Prague landmark, perhaps the Prague Castle as seen from across the river, into which could step, in the foreground, one or both of our characters.]
DAVID: I think we should start with the Old Jewish Cemetery. My mother told me it's the oldest in Europe.
JASON: We're going to be in Prague for just a day and you want to look at tombstones?
DAVID: We would have had more time if you hadn't overslept for the morning train.
JASON: Dude, do you have any idea how late that German girl kept me up? Sexual anthropology ain't fuckin' easy. Anyway, I say we start our sight-seeing in here.
[Jason points to the nearest bar.]
DAVID: No, I refuse to spend another night getting drunk and miss out on all the wonderful culture that this city has to offer, and that's all I have to say about that.
SCENE 2 - Inside the bar in Josefov
[We cut to a shot of David nursing a beer in the bar. He looks down and checks his watch. We see Peter approaching with an attractive Czech woman.]
JASON: Hey, this is Divka--
RIVKA: --Rivka--
JASON: Sorry, Rivka. She's a local, and this is David, my traveling buddy.
RIVKA: Hello.
[Jason and Rivka sit with their drinks. The camera focuses on David as he sits looking uncomfortable and takes out his tourist map and collection of pamphlets. We hear Jason and Rivka talking off-screen and we see Rivka from David's point-of-view listening to Jason.]
PROBABLY OFFSCREEN:
JASON: Oh man, I am loving the beer here. The Germans like to brag about their brew but it tastes like monkey-piss compared to this stuff.
RIVKA: laughing, Thank you. You were in Germany?
JASON: Yeah, me and David were roommates back at AU. We just graduated in the spring and we're just taking it easy for a bit before we sell our souls to the job market. So we've been all over Europe and David's been trying to get laid, but he hasn't had any luck yet.
ONSCREEN:
DAVID: looking insulted Hey, I think I'm going to go for a walk.
JASON: What's the rush, we just got here, have another beer, dude, it's the best.
[Rivka notices David's star-of-David necklace.]
RIVKA: Oh, are you Jewish?
DAVID: looking slightly more excited Yes, my family is reconstructionist and I was bar mitzvahed at the Solomon Temple in Newton, Massachusetts, where my mother was president of the congregation for two years. Are you?
RIVKA: casually Yes.
BEAT
[We cut to David coming out of the bathroom and looking down at his watch, to indicate the passage of time. He returns to the table, now cluttered with empty glasses, just in time to catch a fragment of what Jason and Rivka were saying in his absence.]
RIVKA: finishing entering something into her phone and noticeably inebriated Yes, I would be happy to.
JASON: So what does “U Stole” mean?
RIVKA: “At the table.”
JASON: So, you wanna have one for the road and take a walk somewhere? You wouldn't mind, would you, David?
[David gives him a blank but slightly-pissed look.]
RIVKA: takes a shot, then I don't feel so well...
JASON: ...Well, I think I'm going to have another beer. You wanna help walk her home, David? Get to see a few things?
[Jason goes to the bar and begins to talk with girls there while Rivka and David exchange looks, hers drunken and non-plussed and his excited but trying to hide it.]
SCENE 3 - Walk through Josefov in the Prague night
[In this scene, shots of the characters walking together, David assisting Rivka, should be interspersed between shots of landmarks in the Jewish quarter that they pass as they walk, creating a drunken yet fluid portrait of the historic quarter while an understated relationship occurs between the two characters.]
BEAT
RIVKA: You don't say as much as your friend does, do you?
DAVID: Oh, I don't know, that depends, I think I say plenty though it certainly depends on whom I'm speaking to and what the situation is and how much I know about what we're talking about. Why, do you think that I don't talk enough?
RIVKA: Enough is enough.
DAVID: Do you like my friend a lot?
RIVKA: I like him fine. He's a lot different from my ex-boyfriend.
DAVID: looking pleased Oh, did you just break up with someone? I'm so sorry to hear that.
RIVKA: He was a shmuck.
BEAT
DAVID: Isn't it incredible how so much of our history and our culture has been preserved in this city and that it's so highly-respected? It's like the Golem is still looking over it.
RIVKA: cynically Yes, great for tourism too.
DAVID: laughing It's so beautiful.
RIVKA: I know.
[They come upon Rivka's house where a light can be seen in the window.]
RIVKA: Do prdele, kurova! My father's still awake. He will kill me if I am so drunk. We must wait.
[David does not look the least bit disappointed at this news. The pair go to sit on a park bench, ideally overlooking the Jewish cemetery. Rivka sidles up to him for warmth.]
DAVID: Isn't it amazing how so many generations of our ancestors have their final resting place here?
RIVKA: I'm sure they love been piled on top of one another.
DAVID: laughing, You have a good sense of humor. But seriously, don't Jews believe that when you die you go up to Heaven to study Talmud with God?
RIVKA: What do you believe?
BEAT - David looks thoughtful
DAVID: You know, Rivka, I'm really glad I met you. You're a wonderful person and I feel like you and me really connect a lot and that--
[He leaves his sentence unfinished as we hear her beginning to snore. He looks down adoringly at her, resting her head on his shoulder. He leans down to kiss her lightly on the cheek and then rests his head on hers and his eyes close.]
SCENE 4 - The morning after
[David wakes up to find Rivka already awake, much more sober, and looking down at him.]
DAVID: Did you sleep well?
RIVKA: ...Yes. I have to go. I have an appointment. It was nice to meet you.
DAVID: I'll never forget it.
Rivka walks off and takes out her phone and dials a number.
SCENE 5 - David comes upon Rivka and Jason
[David joyously walks through Josefov, trying to call his friend, eating a sandwich from a stand, seeing the sights of Josefov in the morning light. He then stumbles upon Rivka and Jason kissing outside a cafe called U Stole. We see the anger and betrayal in his face. He takes the cup of steaming coffee from the table and spills it on Jason before either he or Rivka notice his appearance. Jason gets up and instinctively strikes David. We cut.]
SCENE 6 - At the but stop
[David and Jason are sitting on opposite ends of a bench waiting for their bus to Vienna in the evening. Each looks angry at the other.]
JASON: Well how the Hell was I supposed to know that you liked her so much?
DAVID: You just need to be a little more observative, alright?
BEAT
JASON: Well...did you sleep with her last night?
CU of David's face, looking coy
DAVID: Of course.
Potentially, long-shot of pair on bench ends film.
JOSEFOV
CHARACTERS:
David is a shy but intelligent Jewish-American college graduate. Talkative in familiar company (almost exclusively about “interesting” subjects), he tends to clam up in front of strangers. His sexuality is not exactly latent, but he has yet to find “success” with women, either emotionally or physically. He does not resent his Jewish background, but he does not yet understand what it means to him. He carries the incorrect belief that to relate to other Jews he must tout his Jewish “credentials” and he has yet to understand that his Judaism, like any facet of one's identity, does not actively guide one's lifestyle or decisions, only influences one's behavior at a more subconscious level.
Jason is the traveling, gentile companion of David. Roommates for the entirety of their college career, Jason has convinced David to backpack through Europe together as a last “hurrah!” before entering the “real world.” Jason's personality is much different from David's; Jason is outgoing and social, attractive and charming to women, however empty his conversation. Jason likes David in spite of his quirkiness and treats David much as a side-kick, a wing-man, a set-up man in front of whom Jason is all the more appealing and attractive. Despite his social skills, however, Jason's interactions with women are entirely superficial and he egoistically tallies his “conquests” (privately, at least) as did Don Giovanni. This trip through Europe is, for him, a sort of sexual anthropology.
Rivka, slightly older than the men, is a native Czech of Jewish descent. Despite being on the rebound and in search of a hook-up on account of a recent break-up, she is the best-adjusted of the three characters. She understands both her relations to others (on an emotional and sexual level) and her relation to the facets of her own identity (as a Czech and as a Jew) more maturely than the two boys.
BACKSTORY:
David and Jason have arrived at Prague near the tail-end of their fall journey through Europe. Despite their close friendship prior to Europe, tensions are running relatively high due to friction between their personalities on this long travel. They have just gotten in to Prague and each has a different idea of what they should see. David, mindful of his mother's wishes that he explore the “Jewish” side of Prague while he's there, wants to head straight to Josefov to sight-see. He is looking for answers regarding his identity, and, given his jealousy concerning Jason's success with women, he wants to steer their experiences away from that arena and towards one wherein he is better equipped to succeed and compete.
SCENE 1 - Walking on the street in Josefov
[The scene should open with a shot of a noted Prague landmark, perhaps the Prague Castle as seen from across the river, into which could step, in the foreground, one or both of our characters.]
DAVID: I think we should start with the Old Jewish Cemetery. My mother told me it's the oldest in Europe.
JASON: We're going to be in Prague for just a day and you want to look at tombstones?
DAVID: We would have had more time if you hadn't overslept for the morning train.
JASON: Dude, do you have any idea how late that German girl kept me up? Sexual anthropology ain't fuckin' easy. Anyway, I say we start our sight-seeing in here.
[Jason points to the nearest bar.]
DAVID: No, I refuse to spend another night getting drunk and miss out on all the wonderful culture that this city has to offer, and that's all I have to say about that.
SCENE 2 - Inside the bar in Josefov
[We cut to a shot of David nursing a beer in the bar. He looks down and checks his watch. We see Peter approaching with an attractive Czech woman.]
JASON: Hey, this is Divka--
RIVKA: --Rivka--
JASON: Sorry, Rivka. She's a local, and this is David, my traveling buddy.
RIVKA: Hello.
[Jason and Rivka sit with their drinks. The camera focuses on David as he sits looking uncomfortable and takes out his tourist map and collection of pamphlets. We hear Jason and Rivka talking off-screen and we see Rivka from David's point-of-view listening to Jason.]
PROBABLY OFFSCREEN:
JASON: Oh man, I am loving the beer here. The Germans like to brag about their brew but it tastes like monkey-piss compared to this stuff.
RIVKA: laughing, Thank you. You were in Germany?
JASON: Yeah, me and David were roommates back at AU. We just graduated in the spring and we're just taking it easy for a bit before we sell our souls to the job market. So we've been all over Europe and David's been trying to get laid, but he hasn't had any luck yet.
ONSCREEN:
DAVID: looking insulted Hey, I think I'm going to go for a walk.
JASON: What's the rush, we just got here, have another beer, dude, it's the best.
[Rivka notices David's star-of-David necklace.]
RIVKA: Oh, are you Jewish?
DAVID: looking slightly more excited Yes, my family is reconstructionist and I was bar mitzvahed at the Solomon Temple in Newton, Massachusetts, where my mother was president of the congregation for two years. Are you?
RIVKA: casually Yes.
BEAT
[We cut to David coming out of the bathroom and looking down at his watch, to indicate the passage of time. He returns to the table, now cluttered with empty glasses, just in time to catch a fragment of what Jason and Rivka were saying in his absence.]
RIVKA: finishing entering something into her phone and noticeably inebriated Yes, I would be happy to.
JASON: So what does “U Stole” mean?
RIVKA: “At the table.”
JASON: So, you wanna have one for the road and take a walk somewhere? You wouldn't mind, would you, David?
[David gives him a blank but slightly-pissed look.]
RIVKA: takes a shot, then I don't feel so well...
JASON: ...Well, I think I'm going to have another beer. You wanna help walk her home, David? Get to see a few things?
[Jason goes to the bar and begins to talk with girls there while Rivka and David exchange looks, hers drunken and non-plussed and his excited but trying to hide it.]
SCENE 3 - Walk through Josefov in the Prague night
[In this scene, shots of the characters walking together, David assisting Rivka, should be interspersed between shots of landmarks in the Jewish quarter that they pass as they walk, creating a drunken yet fluid portrait of the historic quarter while an understated relationship occurs between the two characters.]
BEAT
RIVKA: You don't say as much as your friend does, do you?
DAVID: Oh, I don't know, that depends, I think I say plenty though it certainly depends on whom I'm speaking to and what the situation is and how much I know about what we're talking about. Why, do you think that I don't talk enough?
RIVKA: Enough is enough.
DAVID: Do you like my friend a lot?
RIVKA: I like him fine. He's a lot different from my ex-boyfriend.
DAVID: looking pleased Oh, did you just break up with someone? I'm so sorry to hear that.
RIVKA: He was a shmuck.
BEAT
DAVID: Isn't it incredible how so much of our history and our culture has been preserved in this city and that it's so highly-respected? It's like the Golem is still looking over it.
RIVKA: cynically Yes, great for tourism too.
DAVID: laughing It's so beautiful.
RIVKA: I know.
[They come upon Rivka's house where a light can be seen in the window.]
RIVKA: Do prdele, kurova! My father's still awake. He will kill me if I am so drunk. We must wait.
[David does not look the least bit disappointed at this news. The pair go to sit on a park bench, ideally overlooking the Jewish cemetery. Rivka sidles up to him for warmth.]
DAVID: Isn't it amazing how so many generations of our ancestors have their final resting place here?
RIVKA: I'm sure they love been piled on top of one another.
DAVID: laughing, You have a good sense of humor. But seriously, don't Jews believe that when you die you go up to Heaven to study Talmud with God?
RIVKA: What do you believe?
BEAT - David looks thoughtful
DAVID: You know, Rivka, I'm really glad I met you. You're a wonderful person and I feel like you and me really connect a lot and that--
[He leaves his sentence unfinished as we hear her beginning to snore. He looks down adoringly at her, resting her head on his shoulder. He leans down to kiss her lightly on the cheek and then rests his head on hers and his eyes close.]
SCENE 4 - The morning after
[David wakes up to find Rivka already awake, much more sober, and looking down at him.]
DAVID: Did you sleep well?
RIVKA: ...Yes. I have to go. I have an appointment. It was nice to meet you.
DAVID: I'll never forget it.
Rivka walks off and takes out her phone and dials a number.
SCENE 5 - David comes upon Rivka and Jason
[David joyously walks through Josefov, trying to call his friend, eating a sandwich from a stand, seeing the sights of Josefov in the morning light. He then stumbles upon Rivka and Jason kissing outside a cafe called U Stole. We see the anger and betrayal in his face. He takes the cup of steaming coffee from the table and spills it on Jason before either he or Rivka notice his appearance. Jason gets up and instinctively strikes David. We cut.]
SCENE 6 - At the but stop
[David and Jason are sitting on opposite ends of a bench waiting for their bus to Vienna in the evening. Each looks angry at the other.]
JASON: Well how the Hell was I supposed to know that you liked her so much?
DAVID: You just need to be a little more observative, alright?
BEAT
JASON: Well...did you sleep with her last night?
CU of David's face, looking coy
DAVID: Of course.
Potentially, long-shot of pair on bench ends film.