Behold my Wall of Text!
Howdy.
So, random update type thing, for no particular reason other than I kinda feel like it. :)
So I'm still in Florida, and have decided to stay. It still feels a little weird - like I'm just on an extended vacation or something. I realize I've been kinda treating it as such, and I guess I need to cut that out and get really, REALLY serious about finding a "for real" job. The job hunting process thus far has been discouraging, but I can't really let that stand in my way. The idea of working in a "for real" job is daunting, though, and I think that's part of why I'm dragging my feet a bit. What if I'm not good enough, what if I find out I don't like the work, what if I'm really just better off running a pizza joint or something...yadda yadda yadda. I know that I can be good at whatever I put my mind to, but I'm a little nervous about social work - it's a lot of responsibility to take on. I also dread the idea of just being a paper pusher, of getting stuck in an office doing drudge work. But at this point, I'm not being too picky about the positions I'm applying for - I just need to get my foot in the door somewhere and starting making enough money to pay my bills. I'm very fortunate to have such an awesomely supportive family, but I can't take advantage of that forever.
I'm still not certain that staying in Florida is the right choice, but it seems to make the most sense at this point. I'm travelling for the holidays, moving is expensive, I have good friends down here, the job market in Ohio isn't any better than here, I can start school in the summer (though I could start in January if I moved back to Ohio)...it just seems like I made my choice to move here, and I should stick with it. The one biggest drawback is that I miss The Boy. A lot. Being away has given me an opportunity to really look at the relationship we had/have, and it turns out that I really do love that guy. But that's not enough of a reason to go back. Is it? Who knows. I don't feel like we're done with each other yet. It'll be interesting to see what the future holds.
Anyway. I will say that I have been having a good time here. A lot of people ask me if I'm staying or if I moved because of the weather, and I always surprise them by saying, "No, I actually miss the weather of the north." But I will admit, being able to wear flip-flops and a tank top in mid-November is nice. The windows are open, no heat or AC needed, there's a nice breeze, the sun is shining - it's beautiful. It's funny how certain things trigger memories, though. This weather feels the same as when I first moved to Florida back in 1991. I remember standing on my grandparents' pier, wearing jeans and a tank top, barefooted, and just kinda revelling in the temperature. It's not quite the same as 70 degree weather in Ohio - there's a different flavor to the air down here or something. Hard to put my finger on, but interesting to enjoy and contemplate.
In other news, I'm very much looking forward to the holidays this year. For the first time in I don't know how long, I will be with my family for Thanksgiving. I get to eat mom's Thanksgiving dinner (yay, stuffing! turkey! gravy! rolls! mmmmm). I get to hang out with my 90 year old grandmother, and go shopping with my mom and sister, and play games with the family, and watch a little football with the guys, and I am sooooo excited about all of these things. Living in Ohio, I generally hung out on my own for Thanksgiving day. I ended up enjoying it - slept in late, watched football, drank coffee and hung out in my lazy clothes all day until people brought me leftovers. :) But nothing beats hanging with my family - and nothing beats mom's home cookin. Mmmmm. And the best thing is, not only do I get to visit for Thanksgiving, I also get to visit for a week at Christmastime. Woot! Lots of good family time.
Other random goodness: Bengals are STILL leading the AFC north! We wrecked the Ravens, and stomped the Steelers, and life is good all around for Bengals fans. It sucks having to watch the game alone - none of my Tampa friends really give a crap about football, so Sundays tend to make me miss The Boy even more than normal. But I'm glad to have found a place nearby that shows my game every week, usually on a decent sized television. Place has good food and good drinks, too, so yay all around.
Not really much else to report, so here are some very random odds and ends: still playing a lot of Halo 3 online, still not exercising, still working at Starbucks. (Happily, I will be out of town on Black Friday, so I won't have to work during the craziest shopping day of the year. Instead, I will be one of the crazies who are out shopping at o'dark-thirty, but oh well.) Contemplating starting an actual hand-written journal again - recently found one of my old ones, and looking back through it made me realize how much I miss putting pen to paper. Something about it is way more personal than typing. First, though, I have to find a journal I like. I'm hoping to find something spiral-bound, as that tends to be easier to write in. Maybe I'll hit the bookstore this weekend.
Anyway - there are other things I could ramble about here, but I think my Wall of Text is big enough, so I'm off. Hope you're all well!
So, random update type thing, for no particular reason other than I kinda feel like it. :)
So I'm still in Florida, and have decided to stay. It still feels a little weird - like I'm just on an extended vacation or something. I realize I've been kinda treating it as such, and I guess I need to cut that out and get really, REALLY serious about finding a "for real" job. The job hunting process thus far has been discouraging, but I can't really let that stand in my way. The idea of working in a "for real" job is daunting, though, and I think that's part of why I'm dragging my feet a bit. What if I'm not good enough, what if I find out I don't like the work, what if I'm really just better off running a pizza joint or something...yadda yadda yadda. I know that I can be good at whatever I put my mind to, but I'm a little nervous about social work - it's a lot of responsibility to take on. I also dread the idea of just being a paper pusher, of getting stuck in an office doing drudge work. But at this point, I'm not being too picky about the positions I'm applying for - I just need to get my foot in the door somewhere and starting making enough money to pay my bills. I'm very fortunate to have such an awesomely supportive family, but I can't take advantage of that forever.
I'm still not certain that staying in Florida is the right choice, but it seems to make the most sense at this point. I'm travelling for the holidays, moving is expensive, I have good friends down here, the job market in Ohio isn't any better than here, I can start school in the summer (though I could start in January if I moved back to Ohio)...it just seems like I made my choice to move here, and I should stick with it. The one biggest drawback is that I miss The Boy. A lot. Being away has given me an opportunity to really look at the relationship we had/have, and it turns out that I really do love that guy. But that's not enough of a reason to go back. Is it? Who knows. I don't feel like we're done with each other yet. It'll be interesting to see what the future holds.
Anyway. I will say that I have been having a good time here. A lot of people ask me if I'm staying or if I moved because of the weather, and I always surprise them by saying, "No, I actually miss the weather of the north." But I will admit, being able to wear flip-flops and a tank top in mid-November is nice. The windows are open, no heat or AC needed, there's a nice breeze, the sun is shining - it's beautiful. It's funny how certain things trigger memories, though. This weather feels the same as when I first moved to Florida back in 1991. I remember standing on my grandparents' pier, wearing jeans and a tank top, barefooted, and just kinda revelling in the temperature. It's not quite the same as 70 degree weather in Ohio - there's a different flavor to the air down here or something. Hard to put my finger on, but interesting to enjoy and contemplate.
In other news, I'm very much looking forward to the holidays this year. For the first time in I don't know how long, I will be with my family for Thanksgiving. I get to eat mom's Thanksgiving dinner (yay, stuffing! turkey! gravy! rolls! mmmmm). I get to hang out with my 90 year old grandmother, and go shopping with my mom and sister, and play games with the family, and watch a little football with the guys, and I am sooooo excited about all of these things. Living in Ohio, I generally hung out on my own for Thanksgiving day. I ended up enjoying it - slept in late, watched football, drank coffee and hung out in my lazy clothes all day until people brought me leftovers. :) But nothing beats hanging with my family - and nothing beats mom's home cookin. Mmmmm. And the best thing is, not only do I get to visit for Thanksgiving, I also get to visit for a week at Christmastime. Woot! Lots of good family time.
Other random goodness: Bengals are STILL leading the AFC north! We wrecked the Ravens, and stomped the Steelers, and life is good all around for Bengals fans. It sucks having to watch the game alone - none of my Tampa friends really give a crap about football, so Sundays tend to make me miss The Boy even more than normal. But I'm glad to have found a place nearby that shows my game every week, usually on a decent sized television. Place has good food and good drinks, too, so yay all around.
Not really much else to report, so here are some very random odds and ends: still playing a lot of Halo 3 online, still not exercising, still working at Starbucks. (Happily, I will be out of town on Black Friday, so I won't have to work during the craziest shopping day of the year. Instead, I will be one of the crazies who are out shopping at o'dark-thirty, but oh well.) Contemplating starting an actual hand-written journal again - recently found one of my old ones, and looking back through it made me realize how much I miss putting pen to paper. Something about it is way more personal than typing. First, though, I have to find a journal I like. I'm hoping to find something spiral-bound, as that tends to be easier to write in. Maybe I'll hit the bookstore this weekend.
Anyway - there are other things I could ramble about here, but I think my Wall of Text is big enough, so I'm off. Hope you're all well!