(no subject)
Snapshot of my life: First Rocky meeting Saturday, shrink meeting on Wednesday. Overdue voice acting homework to coach, paid on Monday, need to set aside funds for birthday spoilings of the lovely. Halloween-eve is our movie night/partay, Halloween proper I'm hoping to work in costume in the morning, but I realise if I don't that might be better, because there's double-shows of Rocky that night, AND the midnight kick off of NaNoWriMo.
I'm in three different writing groups, another for bigender support (dreams of a packie and a breast reduction, but for now I'm just a dick of a dyke), and another for the Rocky cast. My wife is actually completely cool with all of this, which is something that catches me by surprise every time. Of the three novels I have under my belt, two are constantly on my mind for actual finishing (the as-of-yet untitled western featuring Carstairs, and my #Rumbelle Mordecai). My Tarot deck is well underway with a good two dozen cards drawn and colored, a forward finished, a tarot journal that only has three or four cards left, and a pitch for my Kickstarter is already written. I tell myself I'll learn flash animation for that, but maybe also to do some amateur cartoons. The word 'amateur' is starting to bother me -- it's good, to have so many projects, and to be so close to being a published author and all, but I want it -done- so I can actually have accomplished something. I'm working on stash for the holidays on my Etsy, which I've been sadly neglecting, but I'm working on it. I've started gardening, if you can call the meager rose bush that's still somehow alive gardening, which is something I've been wanting to do for some time. We're discussing bankruptcy, and while my pride wants to fix our problem the proper way, the realisation that we're just not making enough to get ahead of it is one of those, "to fix a problem, you have to first admit you have one" type things. I'm actually optimistic. Maybe I can just get a second job, but a system reboot might be more effective. The idea of having the money for our own house and the space to expand (the gardening, the dogs, an actual office and/or studio where I can have space to work, my own car to do all the things I'm doing without harassing Joanne to play taxi or pay bus fare) makes me hopeful. I realise a lot of that is just cultural conditioning, and maybe it's not so bad. But we'll see if it isn't just a blank slate to make the same mistakes. I want to believe it isn't, that I can make things better, but that remains to be seen.
The shrink visit? I'm (technically speculative) being diagnosed with bipolar. The stress makes me ill, physically at times, and certainly emotionally. Our bookshelves are stuffed with books and films, and we need room to grow. I've the beginnings of a cookbook in the making, and a food blog and an Instagram full of food porn. On the list of things in the new house is the need for a decent kitchen, and talks of our own amateur (there's that word again) cooking show for YouTube. I have so many skills and assets, and I just want them to be profitable. Not because I'm a greedy bastard, but because I'm wasting my time and energy if I do all of these things and don't find a way to monetise it. If I can make all of my hobbies profitable, or at least bring in enough income that I don't need a day job, that's my goal in life. I don't need to be rich, I just want to make money doing something I love. That's not asking a lot. I've been paying my dues. It's not something unreasonable to ask for.
So I write. I craft. I do stand up when I've the extra money, which I haven't for a while. I will try the local improv troupe again, but for now I have signed up for the Rocky Horror Picture Show. I work on my voice over reading when I wake up decently -- I've been doing overnighters for weeks now, and they have me sleeping while wife is at work and working when she's sleeping, so I -might- get a couple hours to work on my own before she gets home if I don't sleep the whole day away. Our time together is the only time I have, so we're carefully working out arrangements that work for us -- she reads or plays video games while I try to write, or get some quick recording done. When I'm too scattered to focus, I craft, so I'm making good progress on my Etsy. Soooo many things on my to-craft list, it's not funny.
I tell myself I'm not starting a new project for NaNoWriMo this year. I've too much on my plate right now to start a new project. Doesn't mean I won't happily pester my wife to write hers and go to write-ins to work on my books, but I won't have a from-scratch book this year. I wanted to finish my tarot deck by the end of the year, but I might not manage that, not with the holidays coming up so fast and this change in my work pace. Still, I'm getting my podcasts in while I do my overnighters, so I'm getting -something- done with those hours, and that makes me happy. More productive than just listening to music until my battery dies.
I write on Joker a lot. Especially when I'm having a bad day. This should worry me, and it does. He has two novels of his own -- a Gangs of New York crossover that lingers on my mind, and a collection of our solos and things that I've been compiling on a Scrivener, but it's so extensive now that I'm posting it on AO3 as "the Joker Files" or something like that. I've got 10 chapters of Mordecai on FictionPress as well as something like 22 chapters of Dark Side. I don't know why, but it's just... Blakely is being a brat (the character, not the muse) and I am avoiding him. Maybe something will come around to snap him out of it, but I'm fine with letting that one sit on the shelf for a while. It's one less thing on my plate.
...No, you know what? I'll do Gangs of Gotham for NaNo this year. Get it taken care of when I can. And when it peters out on me, I work on other things. I can kick out 1600 words in about twenty minutes, I'm not worried about word count.
Pretty sure Miyana is going to die soon. Cruel as that is. She's been having seizures more and more frequently, it's getting to twice a week. Every time it does, I'm always anxious she'll just... stop. And we'll be one less dog. And she's been extra cuddlebug lately. It makes me nervous.
Anyway. This was a Facebook status, but it was getting long and inclusive, so I felt it would better suit the blog. As it is, I've been doing a lot of remodeling of my Weebly and my Twitter feed, to try and make it more "professional", which is kind of hillarious knowing me, but I'm trying. I'm actually going to redo my links here, and play some Bioshock with the lovely. Until next time, folks.