hm.
I had the most lovely experience of my life two weeks ago.
I had the most horrific experience of my life one week ago.
And here we are today, another week has passed. Here I am, struggling to stay afloat by conjuring up hope for something I'm not even sure of. A hope that falls apart after really thinking about things. I don't really have anything to be hopeful for. There's SM.Net convention, and the possibility of PAX Prime, but aside from this, every other hope I had is dashed.
I'm not a very ambitious person. It's a bad thing most likely that I take life as it comes, that I haven't planned ahead in my career or what I really want to do with this life of mine. My mentality has always been to "enjoy it" the best I can, and I was doing that. But what will I do to sustain myself? As bad as it sounds, I don't really care at this point what I'll do right now. I had so many hopes, but most of them were with the girl who made me feel complete.
I know something will come to me to make everything better. It always does. I know what I want it to be, but I know it will be something different. Something unexpected... as much as I'd love for my hopes to be fulfilled. I know everything will be okay. In one way or another. But it can't come quickly enough.
As slowly as these weeks are passing, it'll be a long, long time.
It's only been two weeks since I was on top of the world. What a drastic fall. It's not fair. Why did this have to happen? The answer still doesn't make any sense to me.
I had the most horrific experience of my life one week ago.
And here we are today, another week has passed. Here I am, struggling to stay afloat by conjuring up hope for something I'm not even sure of. A hope that falls apart after really thinking about things. I don't really have anything to be hopeful for. There's SM.Net convention, and the possibility of PAX Prime, but aside from this, every other hope I had is dashed.
I'm not a very ambitious person. It's a bad thing most likely that I take life as it comes, that I haven't planned ahead in my career or what I really want to do with this life of mine. My mentality has always been to "enjoy it" the best I can, and I was doing that. But what will I do to sustain myself? As bad as it sounds, I don't really care at this point what I'll do right now. I had so many hopes, but most of them were with the girl who made me feel complete.
I know something will come to me to make everything better. It always does. I know what I want it to be, but I know it will be something different. Something unexpected... as much as I'd love for my hopes to be fulfilled. I know everything will be okay. In one way or another. But it can't come quickly enough.
As slowly as these weeks are passing, it'll be a long, long time.
It's only been two weeks since I was on top of the world. What a drastic fall. It's not fair. Why did this have to happen? The answer still doesn't make any sense to me.