I don't have to make this mistake, and I don't have to stay this way...If only I would wake
Snow, snow, how I have missed you. No, wait, I lie. I'm so fucking cold already and its only just beginning! Icky icky icky...but so pretty....
I went to a hotel school info session the yesterday, and have an AEM session in about an hour...which is actually the reason I'm hanging around campus wasting time on LJ rather than at the barn. My other option is staying in Arts and majoring in Econ and just taking the real estate classes I need in other schools. At the moment, I feel like I could probably go where ever I wanted with my life and end up about the same place. Which is nice, I just wish someone could tell me what the right choice is. At least I'm feeling slightly less emo about my life.
Less emo is not to say I know what to do about Foody, though. I just don't understand him. I do believe that he feels bad about everything he said, and yes, he was very groveling and apologetic. But that doesn't mean that it hurt any less or that anything has been fixed. The bottom line is, he just doesn't get it. And I don't honestly think he ever will. Its not like he's a bad person, but neither am I, and one of us has to do something because this just isn't working. It was almost easier before because I was just going to be able to cut it off and maybe move on. But now I have to deal with that re-evaluatory "what are we really" stage and I honestly don't have the interest or the energy. Especially when I don't think either of us is getting anything out of this relationship anymore. Being mad was almost easier I realize now. Anger is always better than this funny kind of nostalgic. I just can't deal with this "tell me everything and I might be there for you" bullshit. You're either there or you're not. I don't even understand how a friendship like this can function, where I can share my deepest, darkest secrets, but not little inside jokes or anecdotes.
Also, what is it with everyone thinking they can just betray your trust and then apologize be forgiven, just like that? That's not the way it works. Trust is earned, and should always be sacred. I mean, really guys, that's elementary.
Clothes/Fashion etc meme...stolen from wow_katie
A: What accessories do you wear everyday?
Earrings, or bracelets, almost always a necklace or some kind of restraint on my hair (hairtie, headband, hat)
B: What is your beauty routine?
ALWAYS WASH MY FACE...then, mascara and tinted moisturizer are love, and If I'm not late blush....eyeliner only if I'm feeling super ambitious
C: What was the last item of clothing (for yourself) that you purchased?
Last purchased...tall, winter equestrian style uggs (no, they don't look like uggs)...but my mother paid for them. The last thing I paid for was my super pretty and totally impractical pair of silver and navy T-strap heels. I have a shoe problem...
D: Do you use a dresser, closet, or both?
Hah. As if my clothes would fit into just one...
E: What type of earrings are in your ears right now?
Diamond in my third hole, pair of obviously fake larger diamond studs....but only because I lost one of my obviously fake pearl studs
F: What type of figure do you have (measurements)?
ugh, um going to go with euphemisms...petite and feminine. Basically, short and curvy.
G: Do you wear glasses?
no...I have a nasty tendency to fall of horse with them on and risk permanent injury
H: What type of handbag do you carry?
one of two bags: red leather shoulder bag (Target) and teal leather shoulder bag (H&M). Best stores, hands down.
I: What is your ideal style?
Honestly, I'm pretty preppy (sweaters=love), but I like my accessories, scarves and layers enough that I'll always be a little northwest rather than east coast prep.
J: What is your favorite brand of jeans?
mmm, LOVE my Vigoss skinnies....but also that odd pair of reddish jeans that I can't remember the brand of...the important thing is soft and stretch. Also, not tight, but baggy bothers me.
K: Do you wear knee-hi stockings?
yes....but not where they are visible
L: Do you *have* to wear matching lingerie?
Seriously? HAH. Right.
M: Do you wear makeup?
To class, parties, going out. Not for hanging in-house or riding--ever.
N: Do you wear nightgowns?
Never. Boxers, large T-shirts. I'm actually a fan of just underwear...and have been know to sleep naked. If there is to much fabric on me I have bad dreams.
O: What outerwear do you put on when going out on a typical winters day?
Northface (fleece w/ sweatshirt, or puffy) or my peacoat...black or pink. For riding, fleece pull-over or sweatshirt under my awesome Ariat coat.
P: What is your favorite perfume?
Chance eau Fraîche, Chanel
Q: Is your motto "quality over quantity" when it comes to clothing and accessories?
well...I try to stay away from things that seem to trendy or cheap, but I refuse to spend a lot of money...mostly, I try to strike a balance
R: Do you wear rain boots?
YES. I love them.
S: Do you wear socks or slippers when your feet get cold?
always socks, slippers too when I'm walking around...I live in NY and get cold easily
T: Do you have a set of travel luggage?
no. not that classy.
U: What is your daily uniform?
Jeans (usually skinny or boot cut) and a variety of tops or leggings and a dress...always sweaters.
V: If you are married, did you wear a veil with your wedding dress? If not, how did you do your hair?
HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA
W: Do you wear a watch?
Its all about the cell phone. Actually, watch companies are worried by our generations dependency on the cell phone rather than the watch...I'll stop now
X: What item of clothing always makes you feel beautiful?
My J. Crew dress. Its my super feel-good booster dress. Also, hot heels.
Y: What is your favorite type of yarn?
say what? um, something soft...?
Z: Do you prefer zippers or buttons?
Well, buttons (cuter) but they all break pretty quick around me soooo
I went to a hotel school info session the yesterday, and have an AEM session in about an hour...which is actually the reason I'm hanging around campus wasting time on LJ rather than at the barn. My other option is staying in Arts and majoring in Econ and just taking the real estate classes I need in other schools. At the moment, I feel like I could probably go where ever I wanted with my life and end up about the same place. Which is nice, I just wish someone could tell me what the right choice is. At least I'm feeling slightly less emo about my life.
Less emo is not to say I know what to do about Foody, though. I just don't understand him. I do believe that he feels bad about everything he said, and yes, he was very groveling and apologetic. But that doesn't mean that it hurt any less or that anything has been fixed. The bottom line is, he just doesn't get it. And I don't honestly think he ever will. Its not like he's a bad person, but neither am I, and one of us has to do something because this just isn't working. It was almost easier before because I was just going to be able to cut it off and maybe move on. But now I have to deal with that re-evaluatory "what are we really" stage and I honestly don't have the interest or the energy. Especially when I don't think either of us is getting anything out of this relationship anymore. Being mad was almost easier I realize now. Anger is always better than this funny kind of nostalgic. I just can't deal with this "tell me everything and I might be there for you" bullshit. You're either there or you're not. I don't even understand how a friendship like this can function, where I can share my deepest, darkest secrets, but not little inside jokes or anecdotes.
Also, what is it with everyone thinking they can just betray your trust and then apologize be forgiven, just like that? That's not the way it works. Trust is earned, and should always be sacred. I mean, really guys, that's elementary.
Clothes/Fashion etc meme...stolen from wow_katie
A: What accessories do you wear everyday?
Earrings, or bracelets, almost always a necklace or some kind of restraint on my hair (hairtie, headband, hat)
B: What is your beauty routine?
ALWAYS WASH MY FACE...then, mascara and tinted moisturizer are love, and If I'm not late blush....eyeliner only if I'm feeling super ambitious
C: What was the last item of clothing (for yourself) that you purchased?
Last purchased...tall, winter equestrian style uggs (no, they don't look like uggs)...but my mother paid for them. The last thing I paid for was my super pretty and totally impractical pair of silver and navy T-strap heels. I have a shoe problem...
D: Do you use a dresser, closet, or both?
Hah. As if my clothes would fit into just one...
E: What type of earrings are in your ears right now?
Diamond in my third hole, pair of obviously fake larger diamond studs....but only because I lost one of my obviously fake pearl studs
F: What type of figure do you have (measurements)?
ugh, um going to go with euphemisms...petite and feminine. Basically, short and curvy.
G: Do you wear glasses?
no...I have a nasty tendency to fall of horse with them on and risk permanent injury
H: What type of handbag do you carry?
one of two bags: red leather shoulder bag (Target) and teal leather shoulder bag (H&M). Best stores, hands down.
I: What is your ideal style?
Honestly, I'm pretty preppy (sweaters=love), but I like my accessories, scarves and layers enough that I'll always be a little northwest rather than east coast prep.
J: What is your favorite brand of jeans?
mmm, LOVE my Vigoss skinnies....but also that odd pair of reddish jeans that I can't remember the brand of...the important thing is soft and stretch. Also, not tight, but baggy bothers me.
K: Do you wear knee-hi stockings?
yes....but not where they are visible
L: Do you *have* to wear matching lingerie?
Seriously? HAH. Right.
M: Do you wear makeup?
To class, parties, going out. Not for hanging in-house or riding--ever.
N: Do you wear nightgowns?
Never. Boxers, large T-shirts. I'm actually a fan of just underwear...and have been know to sleep naked. If there is to much fabric on me I have bad dreams.
O: What outerwear do you put on when going out on a typical winters day?
Northface (fleece w/ sweatshirt, or puffy) or my peacoat...black or pink. For riding, fleece pull-over or sweatshirt under my awesome Ariat coat.
P: What is your favorite perfume?
Chance eau Fraîche, Chanel
Q: Is your motto "quality over quantity" when it comes to clothing and accessories?
well...I try to stay away from things that seem to trendy or cheap, but I refuse to spend a lot of money...mostly, I try to strike a balance
R: Do you wear rain boots?
YES. I love them.
S: Do you wear socks or slippers when your feet get cold?
always socks, slippers too when I'm walking around...I live in NY and get cold easily
T: Do you have a set of travel luggage?
no. not that classy.
U: What is your daily uniform?
Jeans (usually skinny or boot cut) and a variety of tops or leggings and a dress...always sweaters.
V: If you are married, did you wear a veil with your wedding dress? If not, how did you do your hair?
HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA
W: Do you wear a watch?
Its all about the cell phone. Actually, watch companies are worried by our generations dependency on the cell phone rather than the watch...I'll stop now
X: What item of clothing always makes you feel beautiful?
My J. Crew dress. Its my super feel-good booster dress. Also, hot heels.
Y: What is your favorite type of yarn?
say what? um, something soft...?
Z: Do you prefer zippers or buttons?
Well, buttons (cuter) but they all break pretty quick around me soooo