(no subject)
i haven't counted the days like this in a very long time.
i need to get back to the city. i've been talking about decisions month since sometime in october i think. "oh yeah guys, yeah, it's decisions month i'm totally gonna get everything figured out."
bullshit.
things are clearer maybe. i know that i want to live in new york. immediately. but i also know that i don't have anywhere near enough money. after just a month of rent and living expenses my savings would be shot.
so why am i still so fucking tempted to buy a plane ticket.
i remember this feeling from when i first moved to college. i missed home all of the time. now, the cities have been reversed. it's some kind of sick joke.
i've spent too much time feeling sorry for myself. now i'm just making plans. ridiculous plans, unlikely plans; every fucking plan i can fucking think of to get back home. new york makes me feel like myself. for that feeling, i would risk the world.
probably.
i need to get back to the city. i've been talking about decisions month since sometime in october i think. "oh yeah guys, yeah, it's decisions month i'm totally gonna get everything figured out."
bullshit.
things are clearer maybe. i know that i want to live in new york. immediately. but i also know that i don't have anywhere near enough money. after just a month of rent and living expenses my savings would be shot.
so why am i still so fucking tempted to buy a plane ticket.
i remember this feeling from when i first moved to college. i missed home all of the time. now, the cities have been reversed. it's some kind of sick joke.
i've spent too much time feeling sorry for myself. now i'm just making plans. ridiculous plans, unlikely plans; every fucking plan i can fucking think of to get back home. new york makes me feel like myself. for that feeling, i would risk the world.
probably.