Look Both Ways
Chapter 26: The First of Many
Part 6: Quality Time
“Tell me you saw that!” Hikaru cackled, throwing his head back into the seat. “You saw that, didn’t you? Didn’t you? That was hilarious.”
“Sure, hilarious,” Konako replied, her voice flat, clearly unamused. She even sounded like Hana if she just altered her speaking pattern to dry and dull. Not that Hikaru thought Hana was dry and dull. But there was no reason for Konako to be imitating her sister.
Worried, he turned a quick eye to her. “What? What is it?” But Konako stayed silent, staring out into the window with one elbow perched against the glass, cheek resting on her fist, and it suddenly occurred to Hikaru that Konako might be cross. “Wait… Fudge, are you mad?”
Konako rolled her eyes before locking them on his. “’You’re lucky I love you,’” she echoed, sarcastic. “And eyes on the road, bee.”
Hikaru practically choked but did as he was told. “You’re mad at that?! Well, okay, I guess, on further evaluation, that did sound self-important…”
“Yes. It did,” she said slowly. “And petulantly so. But more importantly, you went and did the exact thing you agreed not to do after you said that.”
Hikaru winced. Once upon a time, when he was still JUMP’s father figure and not the senile grandfather everyone tended to treat him as in this day and age, he may have come across as a proud person, but to say that he thought himself above others was vastly incorrect. “Hey… You know I don’t actually think that you’re lucky I love you, right? It’s actually the complete opposite for me. I’m lucky you love me. And don’t get me started on how much I love you. Of course I love you. I’ll squeeze all the emotions out of my heart, channel them into words, pour them right out of my head, and write you all the love songs just to allow you to fathom how much I love you.”
“Would you?” Konako asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Sunshine, you know I would,” he promised. “Just… Let me get into the zone. I’ll churn them out.”
“You don’t have to do that though…” She puffed her cheeks as she stared out the window again.
“You’re right, I don’t, but if it convinces you that I love you, I’d do it in a heartbeat.”
“And yet you couldn’t leave Takaki and Kim alone…” she sighed.
Bingo. “So you are mad at that.”
“Of course I’m mad at that.”
“I’m sorry,” he said, aware that he probably sounded like he was whining. “I couldn’t help it. It’s just so funny. Come on, don’t tell me you didn’t find the shock in his face remotely funny.”
“How could you have noticed that? Your eyes were on the road. Or at least, they should have been.”
“They were. I have a vivid imagination. I’ve known Takaki for nearly half my life now.”
Konako reverted to silence again, which was only broken when Hikaru drew her back to reality once more. It was like most of the time, she floated around in space like a balloon with only a piece of string connecting her to earth and Hikaru had to tug on it just to bring her back.
“Konako,” he said, placing a hand on hers.
She looked up at him.
“Are you still mad at me?” he asked, glancing quickly at her direction.
“It’s not that…” She shook her head. “Well, fine, it’s only partly that. But you don’t need to do grand gestures, you know. I mean, I appreciate them but I know you love me with the little things you do.”
A fetal smile cracked through his face. “Yeah?”
“Yeah, like you don’t have to scale a freaking mountain just to get flowers for me.”
“Technically, I didn’t. I dropped down via helicopter.”
“Do you hear yourself? That’s even worse.”
He couldn’t help but smile then. “All right. What do you want me to do instead?”
It took her a while to answer but when she did, her voice was soft. “I like it when you sing to me… When you hold me whenever I’m scared or hyperventilating and make me feel safe. I like it when you make time for me and when we’re so lost in the moment that it’s like the whole world fades away and it’s just us suspended in a bubble of our own space.”
Hikaru nodded thoughtfully. “Ah so you like quality time.”
Konako clenched her eyes shut in exasperation. All those pretty words wasted because that was the only information he could gather from it. “Of course I do. Who doesn’t?”
“No, no, I mean it’s a type of love language,” Hikaru explained. “There’s a theory, see, that everyone gravitates towards a particular way of expressing and interpreting love. Learning and understanding your partner’s specific love language is said to create a stronger bond in a relationship because not everyone feels or communicates love the same way. Think of Takaki and Kim, for example. They’re vastly different in personalities. And while I can’t speak for Kim, Takaki seems to be pretty into quality time as well. He’s always looking for ways to meet her. And it also happens to be your case: you like it when we have one-on-one time, even if it's just a phone call a day.”
“That… actually makes sense,” Konako realized. “Okay, so what about the others?”
Hikaru tried not to laugh. Konako was usually the one explaining concepts to him. This was an interesting change of pace. “There’s receiving gifts, or rather, giving gifts, if that’s how you express it, and it's less about giving extravagant gifts for the sake of giving extravagant gifts but actually seeking out meaningful gifts that you think the other would genuinely appreciate. Words of affirmation, which should be self-explanatory. Acts of service, which is when you do things for your partner like cleaning and cooking. And then there’s physical touch.”
Konako laughed as soon as she heard it. “So I’m guessing you’ve got a huge thing for receiving gifts and physical touch, huh?”
“Is it that obvious?” Hikaru asked sheepishly.
“Flowers. The frog keychain. You’ve been really keen on getting me a prize from the festival.” She wiggled little Pittan up. “Your plushy. Also, you’re quite the hugger. And I’m not sure if words of affirmation count for you. You seem so naturally chatty.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. I mean, you can be - I mean, seriously, don’t do anything overtly life-threatening again -”
“Only when you’re not in mortal peril yourself!”
“But that wasn’t the apology I’m looking for,” Konako finished.
Hikaru grinned at her. “Ah, so you tick off words of affirmation too. Noted. I’m sorry I said that you’re lucky I love you,” he said solemnly. “And for potentially disrupting the big Takakim date.”
Konako blinked at him with surprise. “Did you just give them a ship name?”
“Why, yes. Yes, I did. Thank you for noticing.” Then he held her hand. “I really am sorry that I said you’re lucky I love you though. I don’t really think you’re lucky I love you.”
“Because of the whole not believing in luck thing?”
“Partly that,” he said. “I think I can bring myself to believe in good luck, considering, well, everything. I do think I am lucky that you love me but I’m not such an ass to believe that you’re lucky I love you.”
“But that’s where you’ve got it wrong, Hika,” Konako murmured, pulling her eyes away. “I do think I’m lucky you love me.”
At that point, Hikaru’s soul took flight and he was, once again, aware that he must look so giddily, so stupidly, happy. “Not as much as I -“
“Don’t make it weird,” she begged.
“As you wish,” he relented, chuckling. He decided to change the topic. “You’ve changed your look so much since the first time we met, you know?”
“Have I?” She sounded surprised about the new direction but welcomed it anyway. Anything was better than gushing about who loves who more.
“You had a bob back then,” he recalled. “Back during the real first time we met. You grew your hair out back in High School. And then you cut it back again. When I met you again this year, you had shoulder length hair. Then you got a pixie cut which you’re slowly growing out. And now you’ve got glasses.”
Konako raised her eyebrows. “Are you really still not over my glasses?”
“Sunshine, as long as you take them off in front of me, I don’t think I’ll ever be over your glasses. It’s like you transform to a completely different person.”
“That’s an exaggeration.”
“Have you ever heard of the Clark Kent effect?” he asked. “The glasses may be ridiculous in theory but DC could be on to something. A couple of smart people ran a research study that proves that generally, people have a hard time recognizing criminals properly when the suspects take their specs off.”
“I always thought the Clark Kent effect was that Clark Kent paints himself an entirely different personality that even if people think they do look the same, they just think, nah, it can’t possibly be him.”
“Well, that too… But anyway, the point is, it is fascinating how you’re just this style chameleon.”
“This coming from an actor?”
“That’s different. I can shed the personality off.”
“I’ve just been changing my hairstyle, like any girl,” she pointed out. “It’s still me.”
“I know. And I have loved, love, and will love every version of you,” he said sincerely. “I was just wondering if you think I could do the same?”
The prospect seemed to surprise her. Or rather, she didn’t think she actually had a say in the matter. “Change your look, you mean?”
“I was blonde one time, you know.”
“I’ve seen that.” Although Konako’s mostly been catching up with albums and concerts in Hikaru’s room, she had been doing her own research at home where she could watch his previous dramas in peace. “You looked good.”
“Thank you. Though it was for a drama.”
Konako tilted her head. “Would you like to be blonde again just because?”
Hikaru paused for a moment. “I think I’d like to try something new...” he said, pursing his lips.
At that point, Konako wasn’t even surprised. Hikaru rarely operated on plans. He operated on possibilities. And she smiled then, lost in the myriad of alternate Hikaru’s before her. She couldn’t really imagine him bald though… “How daring do you want to go?”
His mind was already whirring with ideas. He didn’t just have to be blonde. He could cover all the colors of the rainbow, grow his hair out, trim it down… “How daring do you think I should go?”
Konako smiled, thinking of the possibilities. “Surprise me, bee.”
----
“White sauce or red?” Hikaru asked as he opened his cupboard.
“Definitely red.”
“All right. I’m making you good ol’ spaghetti then.”
“Are you sure you’re not tired, bee?” Konako asked as she sat in the kitchen chair. She wanted to help but Hikaru assured her that he got this. And unlike Yamada who gave off this vibe that everyone else was useless (though it was not wrongly assumed, considering that Yuto, Keito, and Chinen did nearly destroy her Uncle’s kitchen), with Hikaru, it genuinely felt like he derived energy from making people feel happy.
“Not at all. I’m actually really hungry. Also, pardon my intrusion but I’ve been dying to know: why ‘bee?’”
“I don’t remember asking you to submit an essay on why you call me ‘sunshine.’”
“Isn’t it obvious?” he asked as he started chopping onions at breathtaking speed. “You light up my life. But why am I a bee?”
“Well, I didn’t want to call you ‘darling’ or ‘sweetheart’... And ‘baby’ sounds too pretentious. And common. Then I was playing around with syllables and thought the ‘-by’ in ‘baby’ sounds cute. Better than ‘babe’ anyway. And then I thought rather than the ‘-by’ in ‘baby,’ why not an actual ‘bee?’ You’re always hopping around, buzzing. Also, it’s yellow, like your favorite color.”
“That’s basically why I made Yabu a bee when I designed the group mascots,” he said as he tossed the chopped vegetables in a pan and started sautéing. A delicious smell started to waft in the air. “Apart from being yellow, that is. He’s always diligently working so. And anyway, you know I only started liking yellow because you told me it fit me, right?”
“Eh? Did I?”
“When you chose the Yellow Ranger mask for me,” he said. “You didn’t care she was female. You said it was sunny like me and it went well with my name.”
Konako had forgotten about that detail. “Doesn’t that mean you’re quite easily influenced though?!”
“I don’t want to hear that from someone who thought the rap bridge in my song was strange because she heard someone else say so!”
“I like the rap bridge just fine,” she insisted as Hikaru started adding the sauce in.
“Really…” His voice conveyed doubt.
Konako let out a sigh. She shook her head, laughing softly. “I knew I shouldn’t have told you I found it funny the first time I heard it. Look Hika. It has since grown on me. Some of the best lines you had for the song were in the rap.”
Hikaru stopped stirring to stare at her. She was smiling up at him and it instantly brought him back to the day he found her smiling serenely at the boat ride, when he thought her the ocean and the sky. She was the most beautiful thing he had ever laid eyes on, inside and out, and she would never believe it.
“Hika?” A voice called. Hikaru and Konako jumped, looking suspiciously guilty. Hikaru’s mother had arrived and they hadn’t even noticed. The front door opened, revealing his mother and she smiled warmly as soon as she noticed Konako. “Oh Konako, it’s you. Welcome back!”
“Good evening.” Konako bowed, blushing.
She turned to her son, eyes wide. “You still haven’t eaten?”
“We’re just about to,” he said, leaning over to kiss his mother’s cheek. “Have you? You’re welcome to join us. I believe I’ve made more than enough.” He was already done with the sauce and the noodles looked perfect.
“I just came back from dinner. How was the concert?”
Hikaru shrugged, glancing at Konako, as if passing the beacon to her. “Oh, it was lovely~ Definitely more fun than I expected.”
She smiled. “Hika tells me it’s the first concert you’ve seen of them?”
“First live concert,” Hikaru corrected. “She’s watched all our old ones.”
“I’ll be working on the pre-JUMP ones soon,” Konako said a little guiltily.
“Oh, you don’t have to work so hard, dear,” his mother said breezily. “Especially if school is about to start. You’re already Hikaru’s most important fan.”
Konako blushed. “It really is no problem though. It will be a nice break!”
“All right! Dinner is served,” Hikaru announced excitedly. He looked up at his mother expectantly as he started plating. “Sure you don’t want any?”
“I’m sure,” she assured him. “You too have fun. So lovely to see you again, dear,” she said, patting Konako’s shoulder. “Will you be staying over again?”
Konako immediately turned a brilliant shade of red. “Um...”
“Oh, it’s okay, dear! Don’t be shy. You are welcome to stay as long as you like. And if it gets too late, just let Hika drive you home tomorrow! It will be safer for you that way.”
“That’s what I keep telling her,” Hikaru said as he went about to set the table.
“Thank you,” Konako said softly.
When his mother smiled at her, Konako realized she didn’t know what Hikaru was talking about. He looked more like his mother than he gave himself credit for. He definitely had her smile. “You’re welcome, dear. You two have a pleasant night! Glad the concert went well, Hika.”
“Good night, mom,” Hikaru said, grinning.
It was only after they heard the bedroom door close when Konako decided to speak again. “It is so strange knowing she knows I slept over. And the fact that she’s so cool about me staying over. Again.”
A single eyebrow rode up the vast expanse of Hikaru’s forehead as he fished a pitcher of water from the refrigerator. “What, would you rather we tiptoe around my own mother?”
“Not at all. I mean, it’s strange… But it’s nice too.”
“It is!” Hikaru exclaimed as he dramatically pulled a chair out. “Now all right, sunshine, dig in already.”
“Wait, let me just…” Konako took out her phone and grabbed a photo of Hikaru’s latest culinary masterpiece. She looked up to see him throwing his head back in laughter. “What? I want to remember this.”
Hikaru tried to look serious but the fact that somebody wanted to document his cooking was preposterous. “Of course, of course. Well then…
“Itadakimasu!” they screamed together.
Konako’s face immediately melted with delight when the fork met her mouth. “Hika~! This is so good~”
If cooking meant he would get to see Konako this euphoric, he would do it every day. “It hasn’t have the same artistic flair as your bentos but I try. Mixed in a lot of cheese so you don’t really have to add anymore after.”
“I’m confused what your primary love language is now…” she said as she continued to slurp her meal up. “This definitely falls under acts of service.” She was getting messy all over again.
Hikaru reached over to wipe the smudge off with his thumb. “Stick around long enough, sunshine, and you might just figure it out,” he said, winking.