The Lonely Bug
I think lonely creeps up on me, that I don't realize it until it's already here. I did self care yesterday. I binged on United States of Tara, ate cherries and also hung out with my roommate for a bit. Hanging out with her is kind of like hanging out with a trap door though. Sometimes if you come into contact with her, you're on solid ground and the conversation can go anywhere. Other times, you fall and get trapped by these slippery walls of doubt and have to drag yourself back out again. Sunday was pretty good, the weird didn't start until after we got home and she went straight to her room and shut the door.
I have a schedule, and unfortunately she doesn't. Our lifestyles clash a bit. I had a banner making party over here, and I thought that she'd left the house because it was 5pm, but it turned out she woke up all gross from having slept so late and was startled to find people in the apartment. Her words. Also, she was ignoring Montreal because she thought that Montreal didn't want to talk to her, which ey felt awkward about too, since my roommate was trying to avoid em.
I'm thinking that maybe one day I would like to move out and get a grown up place, and live by myself. The other way a grown up place could work would be to try to live in a house with others. I'm allergic to cats though, and I'm messy when I'm manic. I've been manic a lot these days. The reason being that some nights I get lonely. And I don't want to cuddle with someone who sometimes thinks that I'm her primary antagonist.
I have a schedule, and unfortunately she doesn't. Our lifestyles clash a bit. I had a banner making party over here, and I thought that she'd left the house because it was 5pm, but it turned out she woke up all gross from having slept so late and was startled to find people in the apartment. Her words. Also, she was ignoring Montreal because she thought that Montreal didn't want to talk to her, which ey felt awkward about too, since my roommate was trying to avoid em.
I'm thinking that maybe one day I would like to move out and get a grown up place, and live by myself. The other way a grown up place could work would be to try to live in a house with others. I'm allergic to cats though, and I'm messy when I'm manic. I've been manic a lot these days. The reason being that some nights I get lonely. And I don't want to cuddle with someone who sometimes thinks that I'm her primary antagonist.