So...
X-posted from dA
As of today I am officially withdrawn from UMASS. I really didn't want to but my escalating condition and other various life stress makes it pretty damn hard to concentrate on classes. My right hand has swollen back up again, so I once again cannot comfortably hold a pen most of the time. The ability to write is kind of needed for college so I would have been massively fucked between absences and inability to take notes. I was already in danger of failing via absences within the first week.
SO yeah this sucks. I feel useless all the time, because basically I am. It hurts to draw, it hurts to open a can of soda, it hurts to open doors. Typing has to be done mostly with my left hand. ._.
I don't know what I am really going to do with my life if this doesn't get better. I know I can never do hairdressing as every aspect of it would aggravate the condition even if it's under controlled. You might as well have an asthmatic run a marathon. I'm not really good at much in general. Okish art talent is all I've had going for me and I can't do any of it properly with out my hand. I'll probably end up on disability for the rest of my life because I am not good enough at anything for a real job and any crap job requires hands and standing and being in warm or cold places. I am really fucked.
As of today I am officially withdrawn from UMASS. I really didn't want to but my escalating condition and other various life stress makes it pretty damn hard to concentrate on classes. My right hand has swollen back up again, so I once again cannot comfortably hold a pen most of the time. The ability to write is kind of needed for college so I would have been massively fucked between absences and inability to take notes. I was already in danger of failing via absences within the first week.
SO yeah this sucks. I feel useless all the time, because basically I am. It hurts to draw, it hurts to open a can of soda, it hurts to open doors. Typing has to be done mostly with my left hand. ._.
I don't know what I am really going to do with my life if this doesn't get better. I know I can never do hairdressing as every aspect of it would aggravate the condition even if it's under controlled. You might as well have an asthmatic run a marathon. I'm not really good at much in general. Okish art talent is all I've had going for me and I can't do any of it properly with out my hand. I'll probably end up on disability for the rest of my life because I am not good enough at anything for a real job and any crap job requires hands and standing and being in warm or cold places. I am really fucked.