"I'm just a holy fool."
I've been told I need to post more "Hatoful Boyfriend" screenshots and as my experience with Okosan proves, I give into peer pressure incredibly easy. As decreed, I said I would play the game for real, as if I truly was Katiria Statham, and see which birdie I'd wind up with in the end. The result is under the cut.
Oops. I kinda died. Apparently being well rounded and interested in more than one topic is a death sentence in Bird-school, so I opted to boot the ol' game back up and try for the route that pretty much everybirdie but me seems to have run across in their play through. I share it with you now.
So we're resetting to day one, which Katiria Statham learned her good friend Ryouta the Pigeon had fluttered his merry way to the infirmary.
YOU'D LIKE THAT, WOULDN'T YOU? IT'S BECAUSE I DIDN'T LET YOU HANG OUT IN MY CAVE THAT ONE TIME YOU WALKED ME HOME, ISN'T IT?!
Ho ho ho, if you think he has a weak stomach now...
The infirmary is a place of healing and goodness. Nothing bad ever happens in the infirmary.
So once more I went to the infirmary and met up with Dr. Sakurazuka. And once more I got the "SERIOUSLY, HE WILL FUCK YOU UP, GET OUT, GET OUT NOW" warning.
Tee hee? Whatever could be worse than aspergillus?
Peer pressure. That's why I'm here.
That must be it.
Waiting for Ryouta WOULD be the neighborly thing to do...
...then again, there is that. And my vote is "no".
What? It doesn't mean I left.
Yeah, fine, sure, whatever. HEY! WHY IS THE SCREEN TURNING BLACK?!
...I am now playing as Ryouta the pigeon. Nothing ominous about that, right? Right?
Ryouta is late! Ryouta hauls ass to school, only to be harassed by SURK.
I don't even know what you're talking about, but shut up, SURK.
You tell him, Judas Homeroom Teacher! No SURK is gonna mouth off to me. I'm Ryouta the pigeon!
I think if Statham was there, you'd notice her. Seeing as you're all birds. And under a foot tall. She's the one who actually sits at those desks in the background.
SURK bitches some more about how humans suck and Statham's tardiness is the bane of existence.
...because we were late for bird-school class? What folly our kind has wrought.
Pictured above: SPOILERS!
Also, that is totally how I envision Katiria Statham :X
Well, Ryouta doesn't dwell on it long, as it's class time.
You are a math teacher.
SHUT UP, SURK. SOME OF US DIED BEFORE LEARNING IT.
I guess Bird Flu really is gonna end us all.
Blah blah blah, humans made a new mutated virus meant to kill birds but it didn't and it back fired, blah blah blah.
And not ravens. Or crows. Or owls. Or any of the more notoriously intelligent bird species.
I have often wondered why that was.
I'm renaming you "Judas Bird", Homeroom teacher.
Anyhow, I know Hebei rather enjoys the next exchange.
Of course he is.
Anyhow, there are barely any humans left and Judas Bird has something to say about that.
Fascinating.
Anyhow, Judas Bird has another terrible mandate to pass down.
"PRINT BOX", JUDAS BIRD? MAYBE YOU MEAN SCAR YOU FOR LIFE BOX.
Ryouta the pigeon, however, being the dutiful and weak stomached bird he is, went to collect the accursed box.
Must be.
Angel-Statham can only shake her gorgeous flowing locks in shame and shed a single, twinkling tear. At least the wings mean I can participate in gym now...
So Ryouta the idiot brings the box back to Judas Bird, remarking on how very non-"print box"y it is.
You being fine is all that matters, Ryouta the pigeon. I'm so glad you were able to carry a box. I'm so proud of you.
DON'T DO IT, JUDAS BIRD.
What hand?
I know why you would think that, though. It's all the blood on the box, right?
Really not sure how you missed that, Ryouta the pigeon.
I wanna know how a pigeon managed to carry a box full of, well...
Katiria Statham's head. :X
Rain is just the tears of Angel-Statham.
Yeah, without me, your life is pretty much nothing. Enjoy that.
Anyhow, for whatever reason, Ryouta the pigeon suddenly is blaming Yuuya for Katiria's death. But to be fair, at this point the "plot" hops around a lot and doesn't really resolve much, ending only in the request that you buy the paid version of the game which will not cut up the story and has "so much more". It sort of plays out like a soap opera recap.
YOU TOTALLY KILLED ME, YUUYA. YOU DIDN'T LIKE MY PICKING ON YOUR HALF-BROTHER.
YOU PREMEDITATED MY DEMISE, JUDAS BIRD.
SOMEHOW YOU STUMBLED UPON DR. SAKURAZUKA'S UNDERGROUND EVIL LAB AND WILL NOW DIE TOO, RYOUTA THE PIGEON.
Okosan is the only one with common sense. DROP OUT WHILE YOU CAN.
Emo-bird also had some whiny plea for Ryouta the pigeon to avenge my death and save the day, but I only talked to him, like, once and wasn't impressed so he doesn't get a screen shot.
Who killed Cock Robin?
...so I'm planning on going after Judas Bird or Ryouta the Pigeon next. Anyone got a preference who I choose?
Oops. I kinda died. Apparently being well rounded and interested in more than one topic is a death sentence in Bird-school, so I opted to boot the ol' game back up and try for the route that pretty much everybirdie but me seems to have run across in their play through. I share it with you now.
So we're resetting to day one, which Katiria Statham learned her good friend Ryouta the Pigeon had fluttered his merry way to the infirmary.
YOU'D LIKE THAT, WOULDN'T YOU? IT'S BECAUSE I DIDN'T LET YOU HANG OUT IN MY CAVE THAT ONE TIME YOU WALKED ME HOME, ISN'T IT?!
Ho ho ho, if you think he has a weak stomach now...
The infirmary is a place of healing and goodness. Nothing bad ever happens in the infirmary.
So once more I went to the infirmary and met up with Dr. Sakurazuka. And once more I got the "SERIOUSLY, HE WILL FUCK YOU UP, GET OUT, GET OUT NOW" warning.
Tee hee? Whatever could be worse than aspergillus?
Peer pressure. That's why I'm here.
That must be it.
Waiting for Ryouta WOULD be the neighborly thing to do...
...then again, there is that. And my vote is "no".
What? It doesn't mean I left.
Yeah, fine, sure, whatever. HEY! WHY IS THE SCREEN TURNING BLACK?!
...I am now playing as Ryouta the pigeon. Nothing ominous about that, right? Right?
Ryouta is late! Ryouta hauls ass to school, only to be harassed by SURK.
I don't even know what you're talking about, but shut up, SURK.
You tell him, Judas Homeroom Teacher! No SURK is gonna mouth off to me. I'm Ryouta the pigeon!
I think if Statham was there, you'd notice her. Seeing as you're all birds. And under a foot tall. She's the one who actually sits at those desks in the background.
SURK bitches some more about how humans suck and Statham's tardiness is the bane of existence.
...because we were late for bird-school class? What folly our kind has wrought.
Pictured above: SPOILERS!
Also, that is totally how I envision Katiria Statham :X
Well, Ryouta doesn't dwell on it long, as it's class time.
You are a math teacher.
SHUT UP, SURK. SOME OF US DIED BEFORE LEARNING IT.
I guess Bird Flu really is gonna end us all.
Blah blah blah, humans made a new mutated virus meant to kill birds but it didn't and it back fired, blah blah blah.
And not ravens. Or crows. Or owls. Or any of the more notoriously intelligent bird species.
I have often wondered why that was.
I'm renaming you "Judas Bird", Homeroom teacher.
Anyhow, I know Hebei rather enjoys the next exchange.
Of course he is.
Anyhow, there are barely any humans left and Judas Bird has something to say about that.
Fascinating.
Anyhow, Judas Bird has another terrible mandate to pass down.
"PRINT BOX", JUDAS BIRD? MAYBE YOU MEAN SCAR YOU FOR LIFE BOX.
Ryouta the pigeon, however, being the dutiful and weak stomached bird he is, went to collect the accursed box.
Must be.
Angel-Statham can only shake her gorgeous flowing locks in shame and shed a single, twinkling tear. At least the wings mean I can participate in gym now...
So Ryouta the idiot brings the box back to Judas Bird, remarking on how very non-"print box"y it is.
You being fine is all that matters, Ryouta the pigeon. I'm so glad you were able to carry a box. I'm so proud of you.
DON'T DO IT, JUDAS BIRD.
What hand?
I know why you would think that, though. It's all the blood on the box, right?
Really not sure how you missed that, Ryouta the pigeon.
I wanna know how a pigeon managed to carry a box full of, well...
Katiria Statham's head. :X
Rain is just the tears of Angel-Statham.
Yeah, without me, your life is pretty much nothing. Enjoy that.
Anyhow, for whatever reason, Ryouta the pigeon suddenly is blaming Yuuya for Katiria's death. But to be fair, at this point the "plot" hops around a lot and doesn't really resolve much, ending only in the request that you buy the paid version of the game which will not cut up the story and has "so much more". It sort of plays out like a soap opera recap.
YOU TOTALLY KILLED ME, YUUYA. YOU DIDN'T LIKE MY PICKING ON YOUR HALF-BROTHER.
YOU PREMEDITATED MY DEMISE, JUDAS BIRD.
SOMEHOW YOU STUMBLED UPON DR. SAKURAZUKA'S UNDERGROUND EVIL LAB AND WILL NOW DIE TOO, RYOUTA THE PIGEON.
Okosan is the only one with common sense. DROP OUT WHILE YOU CAN.
Emo-bird also had some whiny plea for Ryouta the pigeon to avenge my death and save the day, but I only talked to him, like, once and wasn't impressed so he doesn't get a screen shot.
Who killed Cock Robin?
...so I'm planning on going after Judas Bird or Ryouta the Pigeon next. Anyone got a preference who I choose?