I don't know why I know these things, but I do.
Sometimes I just want to go home. I miss you all so much. I miss having a place where I fit, where everybody knows my name, and they're always glad you came. I miss... Knowing where I stand.
And here, for a moment, I'm neccessary. People at work hate me, or so I thought, until the manager meeting, when apparently (the catering director, Sara, told me this.) they all love me.
"Apparently at manager meetings they just sit around and go down the roster and talk about everyone. I was like, 'come on guys. I'm catering. I don't care about any of this." Says Sara.
"Really? That sucks."
"Yeah. They love you though."
"What??"
"Yeah. Everyone of them."
"Really?? I mean, I knew Kristina and Cyndi..."
"Oh no. It was a consensus. Perhaps the only one. I probably shouldn't tell you this, but hey, it's good, so whatever."
And since then everyone's been treating me like I'm already a manager, well, the managers have been, anyways. After counting my drawer yesterday, Kristina (who I"m vaguely in love with and would be my favorite manager even if I wasn't) said, "Thanks, Kat. Thanks for everything you do. I just want you to know that you'll be moving up and around here soon."
I have to put in my two weeks by Tuesday. That's hard. They all think I'm staying.
I'm not.
Sometimes I have to remind myself that this is not my life. This is no life at all, really... Work and home and feeding various addictions and falling apart at the seams and taking it out on the only friend I have in the world right now. Right here. (This is not my beautiful house... This is not my beautiful wife... How did I get here?)
I've made a few vague friends, had a few meltdowns, and there are surely more to come... But Brian and Ted will be here soon, ever so soon, and everything should be better then, at least for a moment. I hope y'all realize I'll sleep a lot. I'll try to be good, but waking up at four in the morning is not terribly conducive to fun. I took a couple of days off. We'll see how that works out.
I miss you.
Love,
Kat
And here, for a moment, I'm neccessary. People at work hate me, or so I thought, until the manager meeting, when apparently (the catering director, Sara, told me this.) they all love me.
"Apparently at manager meetings they just sit around and go down the roster and talk about everyone. I was like, 'come on guys. I'm catering. I don't care about any of this." Says Sara.
"Really? That sucks."
"Yeah. They love you though."
"What??"
"Yeah. Everyone of them."
"Really?? I mean, I knew Kristina and Cyndi..."
"Oh no. It was a consensus. Perhaps the only one. I probably shouldn't tell you this, but hey, it's good, so whatever."
And since then everyone's been treating me like I'm already a manager, well, the managers have been, anyways. After counting my drawer yesterday, Kristina (who I"m vaguely in love with and would be my favorite manager even if I wasn't) said, "Thanks, Kat. Thanks for everything you do. I just want you to know that you'll be moving up and around here soon."
I have to put in my two weeks by Tuesday. That's hard. They all think I'm staying.
I'm not.
Sometimes I have to remind myself that this is not my life. This is no life at all, really... Work and home and feeding various addictions and falling apart at the seams and taking it out on the only friend I have in the world right now. Right here. (This is not my beautiful house... This is not my beautiful wife... How did I get here?)
I've made a few vague friends, had a few meltdowns, and there are surely more to come... But Brian and Ted will be here soon, ever so soon, and everything should be better then, at least for a moment. I hope y'all realize I'll sleep a lot. I'll try to be good, but waking up at four in the morning is not terribly conducive to fun. I took a couple of days off. We'll see how that works out.
I miss you.
Love,
Kat