(no subject)
benzo induced sleep coming on.
had a dream about the breaks in my car failing yesterday as i slept, drunk on mandi's couch in concord. symbolic it was. loss of control. new beginnings. fear. stress.
had chest pains all day that can't be relieved unless i take a cocktail of ativan and klonopin. i need emotional and physical pain to stop.
i'm gettin out there though. i'm moving forward. forcing myself to work, socialize, smile. even if it's all bullshit. trying to keep my head up high.
thinking about doing some into the wild shit and peacing out. i don't really care about much anymore, as shitty as that is. the sicker mimi gets, the less i care about my surroundings. the lonelier i get in this bedroom, the more i want to roam and be free.
maybe i'll just pack my shit up and leave. a few people would be confused, but most people wouldn't notice.
cory told me to come live with him in virginia. wish i could take offer seriously.
had a dream about the breaks in my car failing yesterday as i slept, drunk on mandi's couch in concord. symbolic it was. loss of control. new beginnings. fear. stress.
had chest pains all day that can't be relieved unless i take a cocktail of ativan and klonopin. i need emotional and physical pain to stop.
i'm gettin out there though. i'm moving forward. forcing myself to work, socialize, smile. even if it's all bullshit. trying to keep my head up high.
thinking about doing some into the wild shit and peacing out. i don't really care about much anymore, as shitty as that is. the sicker mimi gets, the less i care about my surroundings. the lonelier i get in this bedroom, the more i want to roam and be free.
maybe i'll just pack my shit up and leave. a few people would be confused, but most people wouldn't notice.
cory told me to come live with him in virginia. wish i could take offer seriously.