Leicester to Bristol
Big step.
Okay so its not totally official yet as most of my stuff is back in Leicester, but today i left my job at the game shop and made the giant leap that ive been needing to take.
Things fell into place.
I've been very scared of taking this step and quite caught up between different situations at home, at work, with music and down here (Bristol). I have come to realise what a big step for me this is. As child like as i can be, this is real. This isnt my little world anymore.
This is my big world.
(taken 30th dec on our walk near bristol)
I don't think it will be as frightening as im kidding myself into thinking it is.
Things will happen as they happen.
I will get a job.
I will earn and pay my way and continue on my determined path of music. I will still travel all over the place to play gigs and write music.
I will have to find some new shops to buy my dresses though ;)
Things that i see as big challenges will become much smaller challenges and i will find they are quite simple to handle and complete.
I am quite a strong nut when i want to be (crazy yes.)
Well today Paul returned back from his trip to leicester. I returned with him. (not planned) With 7 bags between us we moved a whole load of my bits and bobs down here. I will return to Leicester briefly next weekend when i will pack up a whole load more of my things.
It is strange seeing my things and Pauls things mingled in together. I like it. :)
I worried incase i became home sick, but somehow having home comforts around like my slippers, my favourite tea mug and breakfast bowl - things feel more homely.
I did things as usual today. As i would back in my little village in Leicester. (Although ive got an upset tummy from christmas eating) I went for a run. I ran around the block here. Passed a few cars, a few sprinkled christmas lights, some shops, some bins, a man walking in the rain and then headed back down the hill to the house.
Different but i feel comfortable somehow.
I suppose running around my little village sometimes can be scary when its REALLY dark as we are almost out in the middle of nowhere. I never dare venture out from where the street lights are.
I will miss the village though.
(bradgate park - leicester 26th dec)
One of the biggest things i will miss is the two waggly tails that greet me every time i walk through the front door, or every time i flick the button on the kettle, the puppy eyes when im eating my toast or laying out in the back garden in the burning sun with two springer spaniels laying by my side.
I will miss them terribly.
Jasper has'nt been very well recently and he is my best bud, i hope he gets better soon and not worse. I will be unbelievably upset if worse comes to worse. Maybe some people can understand that and maybe some can't. Me and my doggy have an understanding. He's the best hugger in the world!!!
Maybe in a couple of years i will have a friend like that again. You just can't beat it. I am an animal lover (minus cows) and i get lonely without them. :(
My parents took me to the station this morning with Paul. I handed in my tag at work and my parents hugged us goodbye. I could sense some sadness in my mother. Or maybe.... somewhere ....proudness. (dare i say)
I suppose even though im down here for the week it feels like i've taken a big step. There is no way back and i've got my life infront of me, love, successes, jobs, holidays, new friends, battles, and a brand new learning curve and also a way of life with a lot less stresses than im used too.
Or.
A different kind of stress that maybe i will handle better.
Christmas was good. :) Not as magical as i'd hoped and planned. Sometimes the child in me goes crazy. I wanted to give Paul a magical christmas but i felt it was dampened a little by certain family hiccups. I ended up getting spicy food tummy upset syndrome (which i still have) and everytime i tried to have a drink i blew up like a balloon too! This led onto me developing moody pain in the arse drama queen syndrome. Maybe i took the magic out of christmas.
My favourite part of christmas was having Paul there. That truly was the best!
3 years ago i would never had seen Paul coming up for christmas. I'm lucky lucky.
This new year is a big year for me. I seem to be approaching it with big steps. Giant steps even. Maybe i will do that with music aswell as becoming more independent.
I'm working on a new CD with my new producer so we will see.
Thanks for all the christmas cards from everyone! Amanda - yours came today and i will collect it from Leicester on the weekend. I'll inform you of my new address.
Thankyou Shirin, Howie, Claire and heather, Craig, Chris Warrington (although you missed me front door and popped it into Mrs Laceys house tee hee.) Kisses.
Anyway - You leicester folk - Frank? Shahida? Dave? Emma? and anyone else - we should meet up some time this month incase i dont catch you very much!
xxx
Okay so its not totally official yet as most of my stuff is back in Leicester, but today i left my job at the game shop and made the giant leap that ive been needing to take.
Things fell into place.
I've been very scared of taking this step and quite caught up between different situations at home, at work, with music and down here (Bristol). I have come to realise what a big step for me this is. As child like as i can be, this is real. This isnt my little world anymore.
This is my big world.
(taken 30th dec on our walk near bristol)
I don't think it will be as frightening as im kidding myself into thinking it is.
Things will happen as they happen.
I will get a job.
I will earn and pay my way and continue on my determined path of music. I will still travel all over the place to play gigs and write music.
I will have to find some new shops to buy my dresses though ;)
Things that i see as big challenges will become much smaller challenges and i will find they are quite simple to handle and complete.
I am quite a strong nut when i want to be (crazy yes.)
Well today Paul returned back from his trip to leicester. I returned with him. (not planned) With 7 bags between us we moved a whole load of my bits and bobs down here. I will return to Leicester briefly next weekend when i will pack up a whole load more of my things.
It is strange seeing my things and Pauls things mingled in together. I like it. :)
I worried incase i became home sick, but somehow having home comforts around like my slippers, my favourite tea mug and breakfast bowl - things feel more homely.
I did things as usual today. As i would back in my little village in Leicester. (Although ive got an upset tummy from christmas eating) I went for a run. I ran around the block here. Passed a few cars, a few sprinkled christmas lights, some shops, some bins, a man walking in the rain and then headed back down the hill to the house.
Different but i feel comfortable somehow.
I suppose running around my little village sometimes can be scary when its REALLY dark as we are almost out in the middle of nowhere. I never dare venture out from where the street lights are.
I will miss the village though.
(bradgate park - leicester 26th dec)
One of the biggest things i will miss is the two waggly tails that greet me every time i walk through the front door, or every time i flick the button on the kettle, the puppy eyes when im eating my toast or laying out in the back garden in the burning sun with two springer spaniels laying by my side.
I will miss them terribly.
Jasper has'nt been very well recently and he is my best bud, i hope he gets better soon and not worse. I will be unbelievably upset if worse comes to worse. Maybe some people can understand that and maybe some can't. Me and my doggy have an understanding. He's the best hugger in the world!!!
Maybe in a couple of years i will have a friend like that again. You just can't beat it. I am an animal lover (minus cows) and i get lonely without them. :(
My parents took me to the station this morning with Paul. I handed in my tag at work and my parents hugged us goodbye. I could sense some sadness in my mother. Or maybe.... somewhere ....proudness. (dare i say)
I suppose even though im down here for the week it feels like i've taken a big step. There is no way back and i've got my life infront of me, love, successes, jobs, holidays, new friends, battles, and a brand new learning curve and also a way of life with a lot less stresses than im used too.
Or.
A different kind of stress that maybe i will handle better.
Christmas was good. :) Not as magical as i'd hoped and planned. Sometimes the child in me goes crazy. I wanted to give Paul a magical christmas but i felt it was dampened a little by certain family hiccups. I ended up getting spicy food tummy upset syndrome (which i still have) and everytime i tried to have a drink i blew up like a balloon too! This led onto me developing moody pain in the arse drama queen syndrome. Maybe i took the magic out of christmas.
My favourite part of christmas was having Paul there. That truly was the best!
3 years ago i would never had seen Paul coming up for christmas. I'm lucky lucky.
This new year is a big year for me. I seem to be approaching it with big steps. Giant steps even. Maybe i will do that with music aswell as becoming more independent.
I'm working on a new CD with my new producer so we will see.
Thanks for all the christmas cards from everyone! Amanda - yours came today and i will collect it from Leicester on the weekend. I'll inform you of my new address.
Thankyou Shirin, Howie, Claire and heather, Craig, Chris Warrington (although you missed me front door and popped it into Mrs Laceys house tee hee.) Kisses.
Anyway - You leicester folk - Frank? Shahida? Dave? Emma? and anyone else - we should meet up some time this month incase i dont catch you very much!
xxx