feelin' blue, how bout you?
Man, i thought having the house to myself for part of the weekend would be enjoyable. Peace, quiet, and cleanliness. You see, im the only neat-freak in my family. Also, Im the only one who is home for a decent amount of time. (mom- work/bill- work/sarah- with brett/allie- @ friends' houses) Therefore, i am stuck doing the majority of the housework. It drives me crazy when their stuff is just lying around, so of course i clean it up.
anyways, Sarah and Allie are up north and my mom and Bill are at a wedding. I just got home from work and I have absolutely nothing to do. I should've just stayed- then I would've been making money at least. ::sigh:: Even though my family drives me insane, they at least entertain me.
(yes, this is vague, but i need to release some thoughts. the person i used to go to for this kind of stuff is now part of the problem.)
So i have this big dilemma that i just cannot seem to fix. Well, in most cases, i know whats right and wrong, and what to do and what not to do, blah blah blah...but I cannot make a decision about this situation. I am so indecisive sometimes. My decision and thoughts about it change daily. Almost year ago, my instinct told me to not go for it...but i did. And it turned out disastrous. Here I am, again, pondering whether i should just let myself try or just ignore it and walk away.
I hate this phrase: "Everything will fall into place." ...it hasn't fallen yet. and its been at least 5 months. I can't talk to my "friends" about this. Why? because most are a bunch of back-stabbing, lying, selfish girls, that's why. Sounds harsh, but i'm not going to sugar coat it. Can't even consider them friends, either, some girls and i have just been friends for "too long" and haven't broken it off after all these years. Stuck in routine i guess. My best friend and are hardly even friends anymore b.c. she's "changed" this summer. Even though she might not be a good influence at this point, i still miss the girl.
i'm starting to feel better just by admitting all of this.
anyways.
Work has been really fun lately. i've worked in the kitchen for the past 3 days, but tomorrow i get to work @ bumper boats. Even though the water is unsanitary green in color and kids squirt you in the face, it will be a nice change. Last night megan s. and i worked in the kitchen. there weren't many people. My dad and allie showed up. A few minutes later...my mom and bill came in! There was a bit of tension, but i thought it was humorous (they need to get over themselves). I played quite a few jokes on Ron, too. I convinced him that Allie is my twin, i kept hiding his ice cream and drinks, played 20 questions about his gf, and then i tricked him about radio information. Long story, but overall it was amusing.
Today i worked w/ jeanelle and kirsten in the kafe. what all 3 of us have in common: pommers to the max. I gave kirsten some camp tips and then later i showed her how to do bday parties. Shes a nice girl. I worked 3 parties today...the first was a huge group of adults and was there from 12-6...the second was super easy and they gave me $10...the third was like invisible and kirsten took it over.
I half expected a decent tip from the first party b.c. i waited on them hand and foot and i was extra nice and bubbly. heh. Just when i was about to leave, the lady came up to me.
Lady: "Miss, did you get your tip?"
Me: "No, i didn't get a tip."
Man: "What? I think I accidentally gave your tip to the girl @ lazer tag...i thought that was you!"
yep, the man gave my tip to the new girl, alex. I guess we kind of look similar- brown hair, blue eyes. The man felt really bad so he gave me $20 as well. We figured it all out though, the manager Allie called up alex and she brought it back (she was really confused as to why she got the tip) Then we gave my $20 bill back to the man. he was really nice about it. This week's tip total: $46 woooooooo.
so....i have nothing to do. i made a "to do" list for myself last week listing all the things ive been procrasinating over the past few months. Maybe i'll pick one of those and give it a go.
call me later. i don't care if i go out, hang out, make out. Hah, just kidding.
I kind of wanna watch Chicago tonight. Either that or a jim carrey movie. He'll always be my favorite.
-kate-