Plot loopholes and fangirls
Blizzard Writer #1: So how are we going to end Arthas' story?
Blizzard Writer #2: I don't know, but however we do it, we've got to make sure there's no loopholes whatsoever, or some crazy fangirl will figure out a way around it.
BW #1: Oooh, good point. Especially that Sullivan chick. She's scarily good at retconning character deaths.
BW #2: She's the one who brought Illidan back with some weird theory about magical shadows and a secret lovechild with his archenemy?
BW #1: Yep.
BW #2: Ugh, anything but her!
BW #1: She's been twisting canon to rez her favorite characters for over twenty years, though. She's a formidable opponent. We'll have to really paint her into a corner to keep her from spinning some tale about Arthas riding into the sunset on Invincible's nephew with Jaina in his arms.
BW #2: *shudder* Damn fangirls...don't they know this is supposed to be a series about orcs slobbering with bloodlust, reanimated skeletal monstrosities, and depraved demonic enemies?
BW #1: Well, we did commission that one lady to write a novel about them, with some touching romantic moments and even a couple bedroom scenes.
BW #2: Technically the second one was in the woods near Stratholme, not the bedroom, but--arg! Don't try to change the subject! We have to kill off Arthas once and for all, and make sure he's not even slightly redeemable! Although we already had Tirion declare him as beyond all hope, and destroyed his heart...
BW #1: Trifles. What's one internal organ, more or less, to a determined fanfic author?
BW #2: Ugh, curse whoever it was who wrote that bit of dialogue for Uther about there being a piece of Arthas holding back the Scourge from annihilating all of Azeroth. This would be so much easier without that.
BW #1: I know, how about we have his last words be about how all he can see before him is darkness? That would be pretty clear. No afterlife mumbo-jumbo, no deathbed conversion. He's gone, over, D.O.A., plunged into the abyss, expired, deceased, dead, passed on, pining for the Howling Fjord! You know, until next week's raid lockout.
BW #2: That's different. And let's not have Jaina there when he draws his last breath. Keep her away from the Frozen Throne as much as we can.
BW #1: But that gives the fangirls more wiggle room to write about what she was doing in the meantime, setting up some magical thingamajig to save him, or something.
BW #2: Nah, we'll just have her crying someplace. That's worked really well so far in this expansion. Oh, and just to really rub it in, let's do a closeup of Arthas' eyes as he dies, making it really obvious that he's dying. Make the fangirls look right into his eyes as they roll back in his head, so they'll get the message.
BW #1: Don't your eyes just sort of go empty and fixed when you die, though? I thought rolling back was more of a "passing out" thing.
BW #2: How many people have you seen die?
BW #1: Well, none, unless you count that hitchhiker back in '85...
BW #2: What was that?
BW #1: Nothing! Nothing! Eyes rolling back, closeup, really rub it in, gotcha!
BW #2: Okay, it's decided then. No loopholes for the fangirls, just one clearly, unequivocally dead Arthas.
BW #1: Right. Dead. Just like Magtheridon, Arugal, Onyxia and Kael'thas.
BW #2: They are dead, now!
BW #1: Of course.
BW #2: No Naaru, no soulstones, no deities intervening, no magic talismans, no raid leaders forgetting to check for a pulse, no body doubles, no avatars, no setbacks, no meddling dragons, no misunderstandings, no reincarnation, no comas, no illusions, no amnesia, no long-lost relatives, no weepy last-minute begging for forgiveness, no references to that damn horse, no mushy romantic garbage, no loopholes of any kind! Arthas Menethil is 100% dead, got that? No coming back, colder than a carp, deader than a doornail, pushing up daisies, six feet under...DEAD! And no fangirl is going to say otherwise!
BW #1: Yes, sir! Understood!
BW #2: Good. I'm glad we're all clear on this. I'm going to lunch, now. You work on that final script, okay?
BW #1: Will do!
BW #2: *leaves*
BW #1: *turns to laptop* Hmm... Quest turn-in to Jaina Proudmoore... Jaina replies, "What's this? He kept it? All this time, he kept it... I knew! I sensed a part of him still alive. Trapped...struggling... Oh Arthas, perhaps... Perhaps he might someday remember what he once was. By the Light, may he at last find rest, free from the icy grip of that terrible blade!" Oooooh yeeeeeah... *giggles evilly and types faster* Got to throw the fangirls a bone...they pay their subscription just like everyone else! *smirk*