Excerpts from...
a Dog's Daily Diary:
8:00 am Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm Wow! Watched TV with my master! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:
Day 683 of my captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little
dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates
are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for
the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to
keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of
escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I
had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending
comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity! There was
some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary
confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises
and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of
"allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my
advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one
of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try
this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the
other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special
privileges. He is regularly released --and seems to be more than willing to
return. He is obviously retarded! The bird has got to be an informant. I
observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he
reports my every move. The captors have arranged protective custody for him
in an elevated cell, so he is safe....... for now....
( from an email) and..i think my cat is trying to torture me through sleep deprivation and cuteness.
8:00 am Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm Wow! Watched TV with my master! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:
Day 683 of my captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little
dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates
are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for
the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to
keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of
escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I
had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending
comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity! There was
some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary
confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises
and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of
"allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my
advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one
of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try
this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the
other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special
privileges. He is regularly released --and seems to be more than willing to
return. He is obviously retarded! The bird has got to be an informant. I
observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he
reports my every move. The captors have arranged protective custody for him
in an elevated cell, so he is safe....... for now....
( from an email) and..i think my cat is trying to torture me through sleep deprivation and cuteness.