I guess I feel like talking...or asking
I am in the strange situation of having free time. You'd think that would be a good thing, wouldn't you?
Why is it that I am so much happier when my every second is filled than when I have all the time in the world to do what I want to do? There is so much to do (cleaning, organizing, applying for jobs, reading for pleasure) and I just sit and stare at my to do list completely at a loss where to start.
You know what's scary? Getting what you want. I have had a great year but now my year is wrapping up and I am faced with my future. Up until a year ago I was treading water and exploring different avenues waiting to start my career. The past year I have been doing what I need to do to follow my dreams. Now I am staring at this vast ocean that is my desired profession and it is a little overwhelming.
What if no one wants me?
I could apply and apply and apply but there is no guarantee that I will get a job.
What if I was wrong?
Maybe my calling was a wrong number and I won't be any good at teaching. Student teaching isn't the same as having ones own classroom.
What if I don't like it?
There is so much more to teaching than educating yourself and others. Schools are businesses complete with the politicking and the chasing of the buck. Even if I am good at teaching, I might not be good at 'playing the game.'
This is normal. Everyone feels this when they are so close to following their passions. It still hurts to doubt myself and be so afraid of failure.
I guess I am asking you, my friends, for some words of encouragement and inspiration. Have you ever felt this way? Did this feeling go away? Did it work out how you hoped? Will it work out for me?
Why is it that I am so much happier when my every second is filled than when I have all the time in the world to do what I want to do? There is so much to do (cleaning, organizing, applying for jobs, reading for pleasure) and I just sit and stare at my to do list completely at a loss where to start.
You know what's scary? Getting what you want. I have had a great year but now my year is wrapping up and I am faced with my future. Up until a year ago I was treading water and exploring different avenues waiting to start my career. The past year I have been doing what I need to do to follow my dreams. Now I am staring at this vast ocean that is my desired profession and it is a little overwhelming.
What if no one wants me?
I could apply and apply and apply but there is no guarantee that I will get a job.
What if I was wrong?
Maybe my calling was a wrong number and I won't be any good at teaching. Student teaching isn't the same as having ones own classroom.
What if I don't like it?
There is so much more to teaching than educating yourself and others. Schools are businesses complete with the politicking and the chasing of the buck. Even if I am good at teaching, I might not be good at 'playing the game.'
This is normal. Everyone feels this when they are so close to following their passions. It still hurts to doubt myself and be so afraid of failure.
I guess I am asking you, my friends, for some words of encouragement and inspiration. Have you ever felt this way? Did this feeling go away? Did it work out how you hoped? Will it work out for me?