When you act older than your parents you know that you need to get out...
Lets see how have I been. I think tired sums it up. I have been working working working. Also the other thing is that I have gotten in a fight with my mother. Well it was a “fight”. She calls me is hysterics say shit like you are not living with your grandparents and find out information on living on campus because there was no way that I would be living with them. Of course I was like woe what are you talking about? She continued by saying how she wasn’t going to be talked down to by my grandfather and that I was her kid and she didn’t need there help. (In My mind all I was thinking was I am not a child and I can make my own chooses.) She then continued and when I argued with her telling her that it was not logical to try and make me live on campus she just started yell to find information about on campus living. At this point I told her I had to go because 1 I didn’t think that I could last much longer with out crying out in public and 2 I was trying to talk to my councilor about summer school.
Within 5 minutes my grandmother called me and I told her I would call her back. She called to see how I was doing because she heard the fight that my grandpa and mother had over the phone. She wanted to see if I was okay and that she wanted me to know that she was here for me and that everything will be okay and their fight would not effect me about living with them. She asked what my mother said and I hesitated for a moment but I know that my grandma is trying to help me so I told her that mom wanted me to find info on living on campus. My grandma said that I will live with them and that was fine. She also told me to go stay with Mark if things got bad at home. I told her that if I was having problem that I would go to Kaylin’s because it is was closer (hope you don’t mind hun). Mind you through this whole thing I had been in tears and could not stop crying and I had tech that night in which we still had to do the huge group numbers.
Now before my rehearsal starts, while my crew is setting up I get another call from my mother. Now she sounds mad. She says that I will have to stay with my grand parents and that we well have to put Halie on the wait list for on campus living. Now I am made because Halie is not my problem I am sorry but I need to take care of my self and not someone else. I am not her mother and I don’t want to be her nanny or nursemaid. I don’t have time to be on the phone with her at that point so I told her that I had to go because I didn’t have time to deal with this. She then decided to tell me that I am very to tell my uncle anything about our family because he is not our family and he doesn’t need to know anything about what is going on in our life. I then proceeded to tell her that Mark was our family and that I could tell him anything that I wanted to. She then when on a rant that made no sense what’s to every about how I was not to tell anyone, I’m not even sure anymore. I then told her that I had to go and that we couldn’t get into this fight right now. She didn’t response and I look at my phone and she hung up on me like a 5 year old!?! What the hell! I don’t even know when she hung up on me!
That night as I was driving I was letting everything come up and started talking to myself in the car to let everything out and for a surprise I didn’t cry. I always cry when I finally let everything come up and start letting stuff come up but nothing. I have been feeling nothing and I have come to this sense of calm. A very weird calm and it kind of scares me. I mean its like I don’t care and I can’t bring myself to care. I am hoping that it is just because I am so focused on Out Loud but I’m not sure.
Okay so this is how my week has been and yeah. I haven’t even got to talk about Out Loud and the craziness that is my show. Okay this is all. If you read all of this I am sorry you have to read it but I feel better but the same.. I don’t know I am so confused.
Love you guys
Katie Kat
Within 5 minutes my grandmother called me and I told her I would call her back. She called to see how I was doing because she heard the fight that my grandpa and mother had over the phone. She wanted to see if I was okay and that she wanted me to know that she was here for me and that everything will be okay and their fight would not effect me about living with them. She asked what my mother said and I hesitated for a moment but I know that my grandma is trying to help me so I told her that mom wanted me to find info on living on campus. My grandma said that I will live with them and that was fine. She also told me to go stay with Mark if things got bad at home. I told her that if I was having problem that I would go to Kaylin’s because it is was closer (hope you don’t mind hun). Mind you through this whole thing I had been in tears and could not stop crying and I had tech that night in which we still had to do the huge group numbers.
Now before my rehearsal starts, while my crew is setting up I get another call from my mother. Now she sounds mad. She says that I will have to stay with my grand parents and that we well have to put Halie on the wait list for on campus living. Now I am made because Halie is not my problem I am sorry but I need to take care of my self and not someone else. I am not her mother and I don’t want to be her nanny or nursemaid. I don’t have time to be on the phone with her at that point so I told her that I had to go because I didn’t have time to deal with this. She then decided to tell me that I am very to tell my uncle anything about our family because he is not our family and he doesn’t need to know anything about what is going on in our life. I then proceeded to tell her that Mark was our family and that I could tell him anything that I wanted to. She then when on a rant that made no sense what’s to every about how I was not to tell anyone, I’m not even sure anymore. I then told her that I had to go and that we couldn’t get into this fight right now. She didn’t response and I look at my phone and she hung up on me like a 5 year old!?! What the hell! I don’t even know when she hung up on me!
That night as I was driving I was letting everything come up and started talking to myself in the car to let everything out and for a surprise I didn’t cry. I always cry when I finally let everything come up and start letting stuff come up but nothing. I have been feeling nothing and I have come to this sense of calm. A very weird calm and it kind of scares me. I mean its like I don’t care and I can’t bring myself to care. I am hoping that it is just because I am so focused on Out Loud but I’m not sure.
Okay so this is how my week has been and yeah. I haven’t even got to talk about Out Loud and the craziness that is my show. Okay this is all. If you read all of this I am sorry you have to read it but I feel better but the same.. I don’t know I am so confused.
Love you guys
Katie Kat