Adventures og Being Hungry!
Okay so I just could not pass up telling all of you my story....First a disclaimer: please make sure that all parents are out of the room before reading this! I mean it you do not want the reading this...well at least read it first and then let them read it otay?...alright on with the story!:
Otay it all started at 10 o'clock pm. My stomach had been growling for quite a while now and I decided that I should eat something, so I go to my little kitchen. I look around and think what do I want to eat. Then it dawned on me: rice! My parents just bought me some and mom bought me bowls today. So I make rice.
A word to the wise read the packaging that plastic bowls come in before you put them in the microwave. Yep it melted my bowl. So now my rice is ruined and dripping everywhere. So I throw it in the sink and clean up. “Well” I think “that was a disaster!” So I dump the rice out and throw the bowl away. Anyone see my mistake? I dumped the rice in the sink which doesn’t have a disposal! So now I am running the water full blast and picking up little handfuls of rice to throw in the trash.
Finally I get it all cleaned up and am back to searching for food. Ten minutes later I am so disheveled it is not even funny. I have food and nothing to eat. (will explain later). I then move to the frig hoping it would help and who knows it did, just not quite how you think. I pull my treasure from the drawer open it and take a swig. I found an exotic berry wine cooler in the frig and was drinking it with a small smile on my face. I then could not help but giggle because I could just see you all giggling at me shaking your heads and say, “That is so like you Katie Kat!”
Well now that I have alcohol I go back to my search. Now I have some things like soup and all but I can not “cook” (ie the stove or oven) because it sets off the fire alarm and I have to have all the windows open and it was one to cold and two past quiet hours and well cooking with Katie is not something quiet to say the least. So now I am back to looking and I found Tuna! Glorious TUNA!! I was saved so I run to the frig and look franticly for mayonnaise. There it is!! I was sooooooo happy and then as I look around I realize I have no bread!
Oh God my must you be so cruel. But then I think no wait crackers will do so I look and yep you guessed it no crackers. Nothing even in the bread category! So back to square one. *takes a drink* so I go back to looking, I find these South Beach Diet Peanut Bars. I am not please and do not want to try them but I am hungry and hey they may not be to bad, right? So I open the box open the wrapper but before I take a bit I take a drink. Then take a bit, not to bad, then another and now I am like oh god what did I put in my mouth. So I look at the expiration date it says Jan 2007, THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO TASTE LIKE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh for the love of god. I throw those away so fast and took two big drinks to get rid of the taste.
Now I look at my wine cooler and say to it, “You know I know that I can handle alcohol but shouldn’t I feel a little something? I mean it would so make me feel a lot better if I did!” Nope I guess not. Then I found an Apple that I stole from my mom some time ago (okay so I don’t remember when but it was no more that a week, I think?) and I am so happy. I find a knife and tell myself it is just like a potato and I am really good at pealing potatoes! Another piece of advise, apples are not like potatoes and they are not easy to peal. Now I start over the sink and then remember the rice. So I go to the trash can. Five minuets later and I have pealed about as much skin off the apple as is as big as my finger, no, no just the pinky finger! So now I am like okay lets just cut it in half and work from there. I then learn that it is not to easy with I little knife. By now I have a plate under me and taking a drink every couple of minutes.
As I am trying to do this I think maybe I should sit on the floor. Then I think the only thing better would be is if I drop this. Guess what? I did. But hey five second rule right I mean I was really hungry!!! So now I am on the floor attempting to eat an apple. I eat about ¼ and think, “This tastes really really bad!” Takes a drink. Eats a bit. “ I really should stop easting this before I get sick!” Takes a drink. Goes to take a bit of apple and decides not to. I then throw it away and take another drink. Now it is 10:30 and I have to pee.
So I would like to share my most redneck moment of my LIFE!!!!!! I take the wine cooler in to the bathroom and drink it as I pee. Yep that’s me every one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I shall now pause to let you all stop laughing, catch your breath and get back in your chair…………are we good yet? Yes? Otay moving along)
Now there is something in my teeth and it really really hurts to I get floss to get it out. Lets just say that floss and my teeth have never been on good terms with one another, ever! As I finish up I start drinking again. I am now really looking at the wine cooler. It is about half way gone and that makes me a little sad. Now it is time for the discussion in my head:
“Well if worse comes to worse I could always go get something. (takes a swig) I mean besides being cold out and not wanting to drive I could is need be. (takes a swig) But I don’t really want fast food. (takes a swig) I could always go to Albertson, they are close. (takes a swig) but I really shouldn’t be driving, I just cant remember why. (takes a swig) hummmmmmmmm. Nope I cant remember. (takes a swig).” Now I start to read the bottle. As I read it comes to me and I start laughing out loud. “Wow sometimes I even surprise myself at how stupid I can be when I am hungry!”
Katie remembered that one is not allowed to drink and drive, EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is the one thing that I am most strongly advent about. NO DRINKING AND DRIVING!!!!!!!!
So that is now out the window. But I was still hungry so I look around and you will never guess what I found. Anne if you please, you my dear will know the answer to what I found. Yep that is right MICROWAVABLE BROWNIE MIX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh god I was saved! He wasn’t going to let me starve. So I start reading the back, one tablespoon and teaspoon of water. Oh god I don’t have anything to measure that with no no no god don’t do this to me. I throw open the drawers and look franticly. And then I found it something that measures both. THANK YOU LORD ABOVE! So need less to say I followed the instructions very very carefully. And I finished my drink which made me a little sad but that was okay.
S I finally get to take a bit and it was heaven (and 10:50pm if I might add). I went to sit down and thought I know what this needs Milk! So I open the frig and……………
You all were just thinking that I had no Milk didn’t you? Well I do have milk because I am KATIE KAT!!!!!!!!!!! And a kitty always has milk!!
Otay that is the end of my story……come on it was a little funny…….well I am now off to watch Star Wars! If I can keep my eyes open, I don’t think I will be able to but hey I can try right?
May the Force be with you
Katie Kat
Otay it all started at 10 o'clock pm. My stomach had been growling for quite a while now and I decided that I should eat something, so I go to my little kitchen. I look around and think what do I want to eat. Then it dawned on me: rice! My parents just bought me some and mom bought me bowls today. So I make rice.
A word to the wise read the packaging that plastic bowls come in before you put them in the microwave. Yep it melted my bowl. So now my rice is ruined and dripping everywhere. So I throw it in the sink and clean up. “Well” I think “that was a disaster!” So I dump the rice out and throw the bowl away. Anyone see my mistake? I dumped the rice in the sink which doesn’t have a disposal! So now I am running the water full blast and picking up little handfuls of rice to throw in the trash.
Finally I get it all cleaned up and am back to searching for food. Ten minutes later I am so disheveled it is not even funny. I have food and nothing to eat. (will explain later). I then move to the frig hoping it would help and who knows it did, just not quite how you think. I pull my treasure from the drawer open it and take a swig. I found an exotic berry wine cooler in the frig and was drinking it with a small smile on my face. I then could not help but giggle because I could just see you all giggling at me shaking your heads and say, “That is so like you Katie Kat!”
Well now that I have alcohol I go back to my search. Now I have some things like soup and all but I can not “cook” (ie the stove or oven) because it sets off the fire alarm and I have to have all the windows open and it was one to cold and two past quiet hours and well cooking with Katie is not something quiet to say the least. So now I am back to looking and I found Tuna! Glorious TUNA!! I was saved so I run to the frig and look franticly for mayonnaise. There it is!! I was sooooooo happy and then as I look around I realize I have no bread!
Oh God my must you be so cruel. But then I think no wait crackers will do so I look and yep you guessed it no crackers. Nothing even in the bread category! So back to square one. *takes a drink* so I go back to looking, I find these South Beach Diet Peanut Bars. I am not please and do not want to try them but I am hungry and hey they may not be to bad, right? So I open the box open the wrapper but before I take a bit I take a drink. Then take a bit, not to bad, then another and now I am like oh god what did I put in my mouth. So I look at the expiration date it says Jan 2007, THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO TASTE LIKE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh for the love of god. I throw those away so fast and took two big drinks to get rid of the taste.
Now I look at my wine cooler and say to it, “You know I know that I can handle alcohol but shouldn’t I feel a little something? I mean it would so make me feel a lot better if I did!” Nope I guess not. Then I found an Apple that I stole from my mom some time ago (okay so I don’t remember when but it was no more that a week, I think?) and I am so happy. I find a knife and tell myself it is just like a potato and I am really good at pealing potatoes! Another piece of advise, apples are not like potatoes and they are not easy to peal. Now I start over the sink and then remember the rice. So I go to the trash can. Five minuets later and I have pealed about as much skin off the apple as is as big as my finger, no, no just the pinky finger! So now I am like okay lets just cut it in half and work from there. I then learn that it is not to easy with I little knife. By now I have a plate under me and taking a drink every couple of minutes.
As I am trying to do this I think maybe I should sit on the floor. Then I think the only thing better would be is if I drop this. Guess what? I did. But hey five second rule right I mean I was really hungry!!! So now I am on the floor attempting to eat an apple. I eat about ¼ and think, “This tastes really really bad!” Takes a drink. Eats a bit. “ I really should stop easting this before I get sick!” Takes a drink. Goes to take a bit of apple and decides not to. I then throw it away and take another drink. Now it is 10:30 and I have to pee.
So I would like to share my most redneck moment of my LIFE!!!!!! I take the wine cooler in to the bathroom and drink it as I pee. Yep that’s me every one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I shall now pause to let you all stop laughing, catch your breath and get back in your chair…………are we good yet? Yes? Otay moving along)
Now there is something in my teeth and it really really hurts to I get floss to get it out. Lets just say that floss and my teeth have never been on good terms with one another, ever! As I finish up I start drinking again. I am now really looking at the wine cooler. It is about half way gone and that makes me a little sad. Now it is time for the discussion in my head:
“Well if worse comes to worse I could always go get something. (takes a swig) I mean besides being cold out and not wanting to drive I could is need be. (takes a swig) But I don’t really want fast food. (takes a swig) I could always go to Albertson, they are close. (takes a swig) but I really shouldn’t be driving, I just cant remember why. (takes a swig) hummmmmmmmm. Nope I cant remember. (takes a swig).” Now I start to read the bottle. As I read it comes to me and I start laughing out loud. “Wow sometimes I even surprise myself at how stupid I can be when I am hungry!”
Katie remembered that one is not allowed to drink and drive, EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is the one thing that I am most strongly advent about. NO DRINKING AND DRIVING!!!!!!!!
So that is now out the window. But I was still hungry so I look around and you will never guess what I found. Anne if you please, you my dear will know the answer to what I found. Yep that is right MICROWAVABLE BROWNIE MIX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh god I was saved! He wasn’t going to let me starve. So I start reading the back, one tablespoon and teaspoon of water. Oh god I don’t have anything to measure that with no no no god don’t do this to me. I throw open the drawers and look franticly. And then I found it something that measures both. THANK YOU LORD ABOVE! So need less to say I followed the instructions very very carefully. And I finished my drink which made me a little sad but that was okay.
S I finally get to take a bit and it was heaven (and 10:50pm if I might add). I went to sit down and thought I know what this needs Milk! So I open the frig and……………
You all were just thinking that I had no Milk didn’t you? Well I do have milk because I am KATIE KAT!!!!!!!!!!! And a kitty always has milk!!
Otay that is the end of my story……come on it was a little funny…….well I am now off to watch Star Wars! If I can keep my eyes open, I don’t think I will be able to but hey I can try right?
May the Force be with you
Katie Kat