Here's to a New Beginning.
I had a long talk with the best friend I will ever have the night before I left Naples. We walked through his neighborhood and got everything out of my system. I swear, sometimes he's the only person that really understands me, not to mention the only person to get through to me.
We talked about changes. How I have to close a chapter in my life, which I should have ages ago. I spend too much time in the past. My high-school years were incredible. I had a job I loved. I had amazing best-friends. But despite almost 7 months in a whole different city, I couldn't close that chapter and just counted down the days until I went home, expecting to re-live it all.
I go home. Deep down I knew I would have a terrible time, I chose not to accept that. I wanted to go back to my old job, my old friends, my old life. I got there, all we had to talk about was old time and memories. We weren't making any new ones. That's when it hit me. We are all going our seperate ways. Hell, we're scattered all over the country at this point, it's a whole different ball-game. I can't try to revive a life that died months ago. I need to stop living in the "amazing" past four years, instead I need to make the next four years even better.
So I decided to close the chapter. I packed my bags and I came back early to what is my home now. I took the long route home. I went the speed-limit, sometimes less, just to ensure that I would have enough time to get my head around everything. I did, I pulled into Orlando with a clear mind and the most positive attitude I have had in months.
It was the most freeing experience. I needed this 'me' time. I needed not to worry about everyone and wear myself thin in the process. I needed to worry about Katie, even if it's only for one 200 miles drive, I needed it. I've honestly never felt so together in my life. I have never really sat down and realized change is good. It's something I've always been afraid of, but this time it's different. I've realized I need to accept the things I have no control over, one of those things is change.
I've complicated my life for far too long. I'm going to try my hardest to keep things simple in the coming year, I guess you could consider that my New Year's Resolution. I have a clear idea of where I'm going in life, and I don't mean that "after college" bullshit. I know where I want to go with myself, to make myself better. I want to be the best person I can me, to myself and everyone around me. And for now, I think the best way to go about that is, simply, to live my life. I want to experience everything: the happiness, the hurt, the heartbreak, the lessons. I want to experience everything life is and stop sheltering myself from reality through memories of "what used to be," because that's not the way it is anymore. I can't be a kid forever, it's time to face reality.
So take-two on the College Chapter of my life. I'm ready for this. :-D
We talked about changes. How I have to close a chapter in my life, which I should have ages ago. I spend too much time in the past. My high-school years were incredible. I had a job I loved. I had amazing best-friends. But despite almost 7 months in a whole different city, I couldn't close that chapter and just counted down the days until I went home, expecting to re-live it all.
I go home. Deep down I knew I would have a terrible time, I chose not to accept that. I wanted to go back to my old job, my old friends, my old life. I got there, all we had to talk about was old time and memories. We weren't making any new ones. That's when it hit me. We are all going our seperate ways. Hell, we're scattered all over the country at this point, it's a whole different ball-game. I can't try to revive a life that died months ago. I need to stop living in the "amazing" past four years, instead I need to make the next four years even better.
So I decided to close the chapter. I packed my bags and I came back early to what is my home now. I took the long route home. I went the speed-limit, sometimes less, just to ensure that I would have enough time to get my head around everything. I did, I pulled into Orlando with a clear mind and the most positive attitude I have had in months.
It was the most freeing experience. I needed this 'me' time. I needed not to worry about everyone and wear myself thin in the process. I needed to worry about Katie, even if it's only for one 200 miles drive, I needed it. I've honestly never felt so together in my life. I have never really sat down and realized change is good. It's something I've always been afraid of, but this time it's different. I've realized I need to accept the things I have no control over, one of those things is change.
I've complicated my life for far too long. I'm going to try my hardest to keep things simple in the coming year, I guess you could consider that my New Year's Resolution. I have a clear idea of where I'm going in life, and I don't mean that "after college" bullshit. I know where I want to go with myself, to make myself better. I want to be the best person I can me, to myself and everyone around me. And for now, I think the best way to go about that is, simply, to live my life. I want to experience everything: the happiness, the hurt, the heartbreak, the lessons. I want to experience everything life is and stop sheltering myself from reality through memories of "what used to be," because that's not the way it is anymore. I can't be a kid forever, it's time to face reality.
So take-two on the College Chapter of my life. I'm ready for this. :-D