At the Aunt's House
I'm dog sitting for my aunt and she had the idea of brining Lily (my cat) along. Bad idea. Lily is a complete biatch. At first I thought she was just scared and maybe she still is, but it more seems like she's just mean especially since Sparky, the sweetest friendliet dog ever is a little afraid of her. oh well, when I come back tomorrow night I'm gonna have to leave Lily behind. I have the wounds to show for how bad off this night went. (Lily needs some nail cutting).
So summer, theoretically, I feel like is supposed to be relaxing and funnnnn. I guess I am relaxed. I am actually learning to appreciate all the free time I've had. I'm especially enjoying the sun and being safe about it too. usually I hate the sun pretty quickly, but I'm realizing more and more how much I love to be outdoors. I also feel like I'm getting a little better at managing other tasks I have to make time for on my own. Such as getting lots of errands done, studying for the GREs and brushing up on my French. I'm usually really bad when i don't have a schedule lined out for me.
Having all this alone time, (which I generally don't handle very well) has got me thinking about a lot of things. It's been fun getting to know LA, but in general I'm not really happy here right now. I keep day dreming about going on vacation somewhere smaller, with Lakes and trees. Like Wisconsin or Michigan or Maine. Those places are all really pleasant in the summer. It's also made me wonder if maybe I do want to go somewhere else for grad school. I mean, I don't know if I want to be back in the cold again, but maybe it could be a time to try out living somewhere cold and snowy, but less city, (compared to NY). I've thought that I don't like change so ideally staying in LA would be preferable, but I think I'm actually craving a change. There is something about being cold that helps you to appreciate being warm the next spring even more. And it'd be nice to be able to walk around my neighborhood. Or at least know more people who like to do outdoors stuff.
The idea of going somewhere new is always scary, but I made pretty much all new close friends in Middle School, then went to different high school then all my closest friends and then came to a college that no one else I even knew applied to. So I guess I am good at the jumping into a new situation thing when I want to. I thought I wouldn't want to leave everyone I've met in LA, but I'm just fidning that I have less and less holding me here. Maybe I'm just lonely cause there aren't that many people around this summer, but things are different too now that at least half the people I know have graduated. I wonder what it will be like in the fall. It always makes me sad when how you feel, social situations and friendships and everything just suddenly aren't what they used to be and you realize you have to let go becuase they're not going back. It's like you've gotten what you're supposed to out of them and now you're life is destined in another direction. Or maybe I'm trying to separate myself before things get separated from me. I still love a lot of the people I know now, but I just want to get out there and meet new people too.
I'm in a kinda funk and I keep trying to think of everything possible to do to get out of it, but none of it's really working the way I'd like it to and that makes me a little nervous. I just dream of the day when I can wake up and think this is a fucking awesome day, it's been a fucking awesome month, it's been a fucking awesome year and I am happy. Simple as that.
That'll be nice.
So summer, theoretically, I feel like is supposed to be relaxing and funnnnn. I guess I am relaxed. I am actually learning to appreciate all the free time I've had. I'm especially enjoying the sun and being safe about it too. usually I hate the sun pretty quickly, but I'm realizing more and more how much I love to be outdoors. I also feel like I'm getting a little better at managing other tasks I have to make time for on my own. Such as getting lots of errands done, studying for the GREs and brushing up on my French. I'm usually really bad when i don't have a schedule lined out for me.
Having all this alone time, (which I generally don't handle very well) has got me thinking about a lot of things. It's been fun getting to know LA, but in general I'm not really happy here right now. I keep day dreming about going on vacation somewhere smaller, with Lakes and trees. Like Wisconsin or Michigan or Maine. Those places are all really pleasant in the summer. It's also made me wonder if maybe I do want to go somewhere else for grad school. I mean, I don't know if I want to be back in the cold again, but maybe it could be a time to try out living somewhere cold and snowy, but less city, (compared to NY). I've thought that I don't like change so ideally staying in LA would be preferable, but I think I'm actually craving a change. There is something about being cold that helps you to appreciate being warm the next spring even more. And it'd be nice to be able to walk around my neighborhood. Or at least know more people who like to do outdoors stuff.
The idea of going somewhere new is always scary, but I made pretty much all new close friends in Middle School, then went to different high school then all my closest friends and then came to a college that no one else I even knew applied to. So I guess I am good at the jumping into a new situation thing when I want to. I thought I wouldn't want to leave everyone I've met in LA, but I'm just fidning that I have less and less holding me here. Maybe I'm just lonely cause there aren't that many people around this summer, but things are different too now that at least half the people I know have graduated. I wonder what it will be like in the fall. It always makes me sad when how you feel, social situations and friendships and everything just suddenly aren't what they used to be and you realize you have to let go becuase they're not going back. It's like you've gotten what you're supposed to out of them and now you're life is destined in another direction. Or maybe I'm trying to separate myself before things get separated from me. I still love a lot of the people I know now, but I just want to get out there and meet new people too.
I'm in a kinda funk and I keep trying to think of everything possible to do to get out of it, but none of it's really working the way I'd like it to and that makes me a little nervous. I just dream of the day when I can wake up and think this is a fucking awesome day, it's been a fucking awesome month, it's been a fucking awesome year and I am happy. Simple as that.
That'll be nice.