starting over.
I guess at this point I am not sure if there isn't much to say about anything or is there is far too much to say. I'm not really going to say I'm sorry and we all make mistakes and blah blah blah. I didn't make any. None that mattered in the long run, I don't think. And we all know that blanket apologies mean nothing because they're so easy to give out. It's kind of ridiculous to even think that saying "I'm so sorry to everyone I've hurt and I didn't mean for anything to end this way...." is actually going to have an effect on anyone's life. The only person who feels better after any of that is the person writing it, and chances are they probably don't deserve to feel better in the first place. Besides, we don't all go through life with a blindfold on and make decisions willy nilly and then get so SURPRISED when there are consequences. We all know what's going to happen in the end.
Then again, if you are a truly selfish person the surprise isn't a surprise at all. It's exactly what you wanted, just carefully orchestrated (whether you realize it or not) to cause the maximum amount of damage with the perfect results. Then you get what you want AND you get to give out the blanket apology. PLUS there is the added bonus of pretending to be so TIRED and world-weary when people actually get angry at you screwing around with their lives (because bad things have happened to you TOO) that you can sit and say "You can say whatever you want and I deserve all of this and I'll never feel better until my dying day." When really all you feel is some sort of relief. All of this was really just a means to an end, and if you can survive the few days of aftermath and then get the hell out everything will be okay. And you're free and clear to do it again.
Why DOES a weaker person always need to latch on to a stronger person?
Then again, if you are a truly selfish person the surprise isn't a surprise at all. It's exactly what you wanted, just carefully orchestrated (whether you realize it or not) to cause the maximum amount of damage with the perfect results. Then you get what you want AND you get to give out the blanket apology. PLUS there is the added bonus of pretending to be so TIRED and world-weary when people actually get angry at you screwing around with their lives (because bad things have happened to you TOO) that you can sit and say "You can say whatever you want and I deserve all of this and I'll never feel better until my dying day." When really all you feel is some sort of relief. All of this was really just a means to an end, and if you can survive the few days of aftermath and then get the hell out everything will be okay. And you're free and clear to do it again.
Why DOES a weaker person always need to latch on to a stronger person?