(no subject)
so it's been a lil while since I've updated. Oops.
went to Kzoo last Tuesday for Ali's early birthday celebration. Stopped by the office so I could give Mitzi the baby gift for Jaquelyn. Went out to dinner with Matt and Ashley. He moved to Milwaukee this past weekend, and Ashley will be moving there once she graduates in April. Crazy. Saw Dave for a couple minutes. Hit up Firehouse with Eve, Carla, Ali, and Kelsey. Got delightfully drunk. did way to many drunk dials, including one to Doug....shit. don't know why I did it. I just did. Tripped into Ali on the dance floor and we got kicked out by a new bouncer. Oh, well. It was gettin' late anyways. The Big Burrito was closed, and that was devestating to us. We were so looking forward to the Big B. :-(
classes last week. Torts is gonna suck, all this stuff I have to retake. I'll just have to make the best of it, I guess. At least I sit next to a guy who's also retaking it, and we make fun of the class together. worked Thursday and Friday, by typing up labels, printing them, and typing up letters. Like 550 of them. not fun stuff, let me tell you. Met Brent for a Stella. I was stuck baby sitting for Heather Saturday and Sunday, so I couldn't go anywhere. I never want to have kids. I don't know how she does it. Emily's 5 and constantly demands that you play with her and then pair that up with 12 year old Alex who mercifully teases her, it's hell. She's screaming, he's screaming and I want to shoot myself. They both were up at 7 when I got there, so no extra sleep for me. I finally had to lay the smack down on Alex and tell him he couldn't go to his friends house if he didn't behave and that worked for the most part. He asked me why I was acting like an adult and I told him because I am one. *sigh* Sunday at least Alex wasn't there and Emily slept until 8, so I could get some sleep in. When I got done, I just wanted to drink. Alot. I still have that absinthe from Prague, and I was really tempted to bust it open, but I didn't want to drink it on my own. I would have felt like a alcoholic loser.
the weekend was crappy for other reasons, too. I let myself get all bent out of shape by an email again. Things that I've asked not to hear, but continue to hear anyways. It's like he has a 6th sense or something. Katie's doing ok, let's fuck with it. Just when I finally have my confidence on the rise, it falls back to the ground. *sigh* then there's my "crush." I think I fucked that up, too, and I'd be amazed if we ever talk/hang out again. With the weekend, I think I said a few things that I shouldn't have, IMed too many times. *sigh* I'm suck a fuck up. Honestly. But then I wonder about something else. Am I so desperate to "like" a guy, that I'm forcing it? There's that one paragraph in "Gone with the Wind" about Scarlett when she realized she never really loved Ashley; she just loved something that she had invented and forced it onto Ashley. Is that the way I did it? Did I just imagine him to fit all of what I want in a guy? :-/ Sometimes it's hard to know what you want. I have ideas what I want, but I don't know how to get them. I just have to get my confidence up I guess. somehow.
went to Kzoo last Tuesday for Ali's early birthday celebration. Stopped by the office so I could give Mitzi the baby gift for Jaquelyn. Went out to dinner with Matt and Ashley. He moved to Milwaukee this past weekend, and Ashley will be moving there once she graduates in April. Crazy. Saw Dave for a couple minutes. Hit up Firehouse with Eve, Carla, Ali, and Kelsey. Got delightfully drunk. did way to many drunk dials, including one to Doug....shit. don't know why I did it. I just did. Tripped into Ali on the dance floor and we got kicked out by a new bouncer. Oh, well. It was gettin' late anyways. The Big Burrito was closed, and that was devestating to us. We were so looking forward to the Big B. :-(
classes last week. Torts is gonna suck, all this stuff I have to retake. I'll just have to make the best of it, I guess. At least I sit next to a guy who's also retaking it, and we make fun of the class together. worked Thursday and Friday, by typing up labels, printing them, and typing up letters. Like 550 of them. not fun stuff, let me tell you. Met Brent for a Stella. I was stuck baby sitting for Heather Saturday and Sunday, so I couldn't go anywhere. I never want to have kids. I don't know how she does it. Emily's 5 and constantly demands that you play with her and then pair that up with 12 year old Alex who mercifully teases her, it's hell. She's screaming, he's screaming and I want to shoot myself. They both were up at 7 when I got there, so no extra sleep for me. I finally had to lay the smack down on Alex and tell him he couldn't go to his friends house if he didn't behave and that worked for the most part. He asked me why I was acting like an adult and I told him because I am one. *sigh* Sunday at least Alex wasn't there and Emily slept until 8, so I could get some sleep in. When I got done, I just wanted to drink. Alot. I still have that absinthe from Prague, and I was really tempted to bust it open, but I didn't want to drink it on my own. I would have felt like a alcoholic loser.
the weekend was crappy for other reasons, too. I let myself get all bent out of shape by an email again. Things that I've asked not to hear, but continue to hear anyways. It's like he has a 6th sense or something. Katie's doing ok, let's fuck with it. Just when I finally have my confidence on the rise, it falls back to the ground. *sigh* then there's my "crush." I think I fucked that up, too, and I'd be amazed if we ever talk/hang out again. With the weekend, I think I said a few things that I shouldn't have, IMed too many times. *sigh* I'm suck a fuck up. Honestly. But then I wonder about something else. Am I so desperate to "like" a guy, that I'm forcing it? There's that one paragraph in "Gone with the Wind" about Scarlett when she realized she never really loved Ashley; she just loved something that she had invented and forced it onto Ashley. Is that the way I did it? Did I just imagine him to fit all of what I want in a guy? :-/ Sometimes it's hard to know what you want. I have ideas what I want, but I don't know how to get them. I just have to get my confidence up I guess. somehow.