(no subject)
i got called into work last night. so now i am at work right now. but i will be leaving soon...extremely soon. I have to go and buy clothes for this thing (for lack of a better term) that i have to go to. it is that Panhellenic Club of Annapolis thing. i don't know what it is.
i guess what you all want to read is about what happened yesterday.
i woke up and went over guido's house. we went to the store, and by the "store" i mean ollie's, walmart, kmart, cvs, and safeway, to get groceries and pillows and a perscrotion. in between walmart and safeway i got a call from my mom saying i had something in the mail from nyu. i asked if it was big or small. it was small...as expected. then i called jordan to see if he had gotten his letter yet. he did. i asked if it was big or small. he said it was big. i went home opened the letter. i read it. i had already been crying on the way home because i knew i had been rejected but, i started bawling when i actually read the letter. "I wish you every success in your future academic pursuits." isn't that nice? really mother fucking nice. because, obviously i paid $65 for a fucking rejection letter that essentially says "hey you can't go to school here, thanks for the money, and good luck with whatever your shitty life will amount to (but don't expect much because you aren't attending our school and therefore you will never doing anything worthwhile with your time here on this shit hole earth)." oh and by the way--everyone congratulate jordan because yet another major university wants him. not that he will actually go to NYU. he doesn't really want to go there. he's going to go to stamford. so he applied for no reason...and wasn't even the slightest bit excited about getting in. hey, jordan, thanks alot for that.
sorry. sorry for being angry with you. you deserve it. you are a hell of alot smarter than i could ever hope to be and you deserve all the success in the world. but i am bitter. and i am contemplating my failure and every other goddamn dissapointment in my life and i honestly have no idea how i could ever hope to attend NYU. good luck to everyone in the fall. i will still be here. in pasadena. where i am destined to rot and hate and die and fuck. fuck.
i have no back-up plan. no money. no job. nothing. i don't even have a motherfuking car. but, hey that stuff isn't important...right?
p.s.-- i don't need and mother fucking sympathy from anyone. this is my fucking fault for over estimating my worth, my ability, my intelligence.
i guess what you all want to read is about what happened yesterday.
i woke up and went over guido's house. we went to the store, and by the "store" i mean ollie's, walmart, kmart, cvs, and safeway, to get groceries and pillows and a perscrotion. in between walmart and safeway i got a call from my mom saying i had something in the mail from nyu. i asked if it was big or small. it was small...as expected. then i called jordan to see if he had gotten his letter yet. he did. i asked if it was big or small. he said it was big. i went home opened the letter. i read it. i had already been crying on the way home because i knew i had been rejected but, i started bawling when i actually read the letter. "I wish you every success in your future academic pursuits." isn't that nice? really mother fucking nice. because, obviously i paid $65 for a fucking rejection letter that essentially says "hey you can't go to school here, thanks for the money, and good luck with whatever your shitty life will amount to (but don't expect much because you aren't attending our school and therefore you will never doing anything worthwhile with your time here on this shit hole earth)." oh and by the way--everyone congratulate jordan because yet another major university wants him. not that he will actually go to NYU. he doesn't really want to go there. he's going to go to stamford. so he applied for no reason...and wasn't even the slightest bit excited about getting in. hey, jordan, thanks alot for that.
sorry. sorry for being angry with you. you deserve it. you are a hell of alot smarter than i could ever hope to be and you deserve all the success in the world. but i am bitter. and i am contemplating my failure and every other goddamn dissapointment in my life and i honestly have no idea how i could ever hope to attend NYU. good luck to everyone in the fall. i will still be here. in pasadena. where i am destined to rot and hate and die and fuck. fuck.
i have no back-up plan. no money. no job. nothing. i don't even have a motherfuking car. but, hey that stuff isn't important...right?
p.s.-- i don't need and mother fucking sympathy from anyone. this is my fucking fault for over estimating my worth, my ability, my intelligence.