Fatty entry
I'm bipartisan. Or, more accurately, nonpartisan. Does this mean I'm a confused idealist in a big bad polarized world? ...Probably. In any event, here's a comical take on some very serious developments of late. What do you all think?
Here’s an unofficial transcript from the Daily show a few nights back. Thank you Interweb.
STEWART: White House Press Secretary Tony Snow said the president’s veto showed no moral ambiguity.
SNOW (from Wednesday’s press conference): The simple answer is: He thinks murder’s wrong.
STEWART: Wow. Uh, well, Tony Snow is right about one thing. That is a pretty simple answer. But is there any way to say that with more ....condescension or self-righteousness?
SNOW: What the president has said is he doesn’t want human life destroyed. Now you may consider that insignificant …
STEWART: You may consider that insignificant. You may have a baby juicer at home, where, where...newborns are squashed to provide you and your, ahem, "hippie" friends with fresh baby smoothies. Uh, but as far as we’re concenred, flattening babies for their sweet, sweet nectar is wrong.
BUSH (from Oct. 13, 2004, presidential debate): I think it’s important to promote a culture of life. I think a hospitable society is a scoiety where every being counts and every person matters.
STEWART: Every being counts. Every person matters.
BUSH (from Dec. 12, 2005, press conference): How many Iraqi citizens have died … in this war? Um …(pause). I would say 30,000. More or less.
STEWART: Each one, precious. Each one, sacred. Ish. As it turns out, there seems to be a bit of a loophole in the “culture of life” promotion thing. When spreading democracy, more absolute gets a little wiggle room.
SNOW: It is one of the horrible side effects that civilians do get injured and killed, and that is one of the lamentable things.
STEWART: It’s not murder. It’s a lamentable side effect. The...the upset stomach and diarrhea of freedom, if you will. So when it comes to the theory that embyronic stem cells can help the fight against disease...
BUSH (Aug. 12, 2004, interview with CNN’s Larry Knig): This country has to be very careful on destroying life to save life.
STEWART: And when it comes to the theory that military intervention can promote Middle East democracy...
SNOW: In a situation like this, you don’t want to create undue carnage with civilians.
STEWART: (just a little sarcastic) Yes, you want to create due carnage with civilians. You know what I’m saying: The carnage they had coming.
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A few minutes later, on the Colbert Report:
"...George W. lost his veto-ginity today---Atta boy, Georgy--..."