I hate Comcast SO MUCH
All I want to do is set up my new Tivo. (Alas, my old one has gone to join the choir eternal.) But I need a cable card to replace the cable box. So I call Comcast, and they say I have to go pick it up at the office in person, despite the fact that a number of other people I talked to on this odyssey asked me if I had had it mailed to me, so clearly that's a possibility.
Fine. But I can't do that during the week, of course, because they're only open until 6. I go on Saturday. Monday I stick the thing into the Tivo and call the number I'm supposed to call for activation.
I have now spent approximately two and a half hours of my life trying to deal with this. Last night it was Jill. Jill's name is not Jill, it's Amita or Priya or Radhika or something, which I am offended by because I really dislike the lying. I don't care if you're in India, lady! But I will bet $100 that your name is not Jill, except in the sense that you call yourself Jill when working this job.
ANYWAY.
I spent 45 minutes on the line with Jill, including two hard reboots of the Tivo. Jill did not seem to get that this took time. Fair enough the first time I did it, but the second time too. ("We will need to wait for it to be complete, then." No shit, lady.) At the end, she says that the card is defective and I'll have to go back and get another one.
I'm not going to be home on a Saturday for another two weeks. Fine. I take an hour of comp time today so I can go to the office and switch out cards. I wait the requisite two hours. I call Comcast again. The three calls go like this:
1) I hack my way through the menu until I reach Lady With A Southern Accent. LWASA eventually involves her supervisor. Half an hour in, they discover that I am talking to the wrong department and they can't activate a cable card anyway. We will transfer you to the right department, they say! I am put on hold for five minutes, at which point the call disconnects.
2) I hack my way through the menu the same way I did last time, but inexplicably end up in the phone billing department. The lovely if somewhat confused gentleman I speak to says he'll transfer me to the right department. I am put on hold for five minutes, but this time I am taken off hold and told that he's having trouble transferring me, but he can give me the direct number! I am pleased with somewhat confused gentleman.
3) I call the direct number and reach some dude with an Anglo name who is, once again, almost certainly not Anglo. He has less of an accent than Jill, though, so, progress. I am on the phone with Some Dude for approximately 45 minutes, at the end of which time he tells me that I'm going to need to have a technician come and do a visit. I feel that this is bullshit and, because I am a bad person, am a little ill-tempered with SD. I apologize for this, but frankly continue to be a little cranky as it becomes clear that I am going to have to blow more leave on this whole thing. The next appointment is tomorrow, but I'm in Worcester all day so I say no, I can't do tomorrow, how about the day after. He seems confused by this concept. How about Thursday, I clarify. You mean Friday, he says. No, I mean Thursday. No, the day after tomorrow is Friday. Here in Massachusetts, I clarify, it is currently TUESDAY. He seems confused by this concept and asks what TIME on Tuesday. 9 PM, I tell him. On TUESDAY.
He gets it. I think of barkley, who would not make that mistake. (The number of times I had to give my zip code, you'd think they'd have that automatically up on their screen or something, right? It's clearly going to come up if you're dealing with places as far apart as the US and South Asia! Though OTOH I kept having to type in my zip and then having the person I talked to ask for it again, so their system seems to be problematic overall.)
So anyway, I now have a service visit scheduled for Thursday between 3 and 5 PM. Based on experience, I figure I have about a 33% chance of this actually happening. I just... how do they do it? How? Why is every single technical interaction I've ever had with Comcast over the course of years been such a clusterfuck? THERE HAS GOT TO BE A WAY FOR THEM TO DO BETTER. I cannot believe there isn't a technical solution to this problem that doesn't boil down to "and then I log on to a website and push a button." I mean, come on.
I am cranky about all this. Cranky! And also I am taking a surprise trip to New York this weekend because hey, graduation picnic for my niece Saturday! Which I was not actually invited to or anything, my parents just asked last night if I was coming. I am 99% certain this is just my brother not thinking and not him actively not wanting me there, but damn, dude, the last time I saw you I said out loud that if you did something for her I'd like to be invited, THAT WAS HARD FOR ME BECAUSE I AM STILL KIND OF SOCIALLY ANXIOUS AND I FEEL AWKWARD AROUND YOU ANYWAY SO COULD YOU THROW ME A BONE HERE?
Okay. Deep breaths. Leaving the house an hour early tomorrow so I can go sit in a room in Worcester and be bored to tears by my annual hazmat training. Must remember to bring a sweater, every year I forget and every year I end up freezing. Hey, I can use my murder axe icon for this post! That's cheer-making at least.
Fine. But I can't do that during the week, of course, because they're only open until 6. I go on Saturday. Monday I stick the thing into the Tivo and call the number I'm supposed to call for activation.
I have now spent approximately two and a half hours of my life trying to deal with this. Last night it was Jill. Jill's name is not Jill, it's Amita or Priya or Radhika or something, which I am offended by because I really dislike the lying. I don't care if you're in India, lady! But I will bet $100 that your name is not Jill, except in the sense that you call yourself Jill when working this job.
ANYWAY.
I spent 45 minutes on the line with Jill, including two hard reboots of the Tivo. Jill did not seem to get that this took time. Fair enough the first time I did it, but the second time too. ("We will need to wait for it to be complete, then." No shit, lady.) At the end, she says that the card is defective and I'll have to go back and get another one.
I'm not going to be home on a Saturday for another two weeks. Fine. I take an hour of comp time today so I can go to the office and switch out cards. I wait the requisite two hours. I call Comcast again. The three calls go like this:
1) I hack my way through the menu until I reach Lady With A Southern Accent. LWASA eventually involves her supervisor. Half an hour in, they discover that I am talking to the wrong department and they can't activate a cable card anyway. We will transfer you to the right department, they say! I am put on hold for five minutes, at which point the call disconnects.
2) I hack my way through the menu the same way I did last time, but inexplicably end up in the phone billing department. The lovely if somewhat confused gentleman I speak to says he'll transfer me to the right department. I am put on hold for five minutes, but this time I am taken off hold and told that he's having trouble transferring me, but he can give me the direct number! I am pleased with somewhat confused gentleman.
3) I call the direct number and reach some dude with an Anglo name who is, once again, almost certainly not Anglo. He has less of an accent than Jill, though, so, progress. I am on the phone with Some Dude for approximately 45 minutes, at the end of which time he tells me that I'm going to need to have a technician come and do a visit. I feel that this is bullshit and, because I am a bad person, am a little ill-tempered with SD. I apologize for this, but frankly continue to be a little cranky as it becomes clear that I am going to have to blow more leave on this whole thing. The next appointment is tomorrow, but I'm in Worcester all day so I say no, I can't do tomorrow, how about the day after. He seems confused by this concept. How about Thursday, I clarify. You mean Friday, he says. No, I mean Thursday. No, the day after tomorrow is Friday. Here in Massachusetts, I clarify, it is currently TUESDAY. He seems confused by this concept and asks what TIME on Tuesday. 9 PM, I tell him. On TUESDAY.
He gets it. I think of barkley, who would not make that mistake. (The number of times I had to give my zip code, you'd think they'd have that automatically up on their screen or something, right? It's clearly going to come up if you're dealing with places as far apart as the US and South Asia! Though OTOH I kept having to type in my zip and then having the person I talked to ask for it again, so their system seems to be problematic overall.)
So anyway, I now have a service visit scheduled for Thursday between 3 and 5 PM. Based on experience, I figure I have about a 33% chance of this actually happening. I just... how do they do it? How? Why is every single technical interaction I've ever had with Comcast over the course of years been such a clusterfuck? THERE HAS GOT TO BE A WAY FOR THEM TO DO BETTER. I cannot believe there isn't a technical solution to this problem that doesn't boil down to "and then I log on to a website and push a button." I mean, come on.
I am cranky about all this. Cranky! And also I am taking a surprise trip to New York this weekend because hey, graduation picnic for my niece Saturday! Which I was not actually invited to or anything, my parents just asked last night if I was coming. I am 99% certain this is just my brother not thinking and not him actively not wanting me there, but damn, dude, the last time I saw you I said out loud that if you did something for her I'd like to be invited, THAT WAS HARD FOR ME BECAUSE I AM STILL KIND OF SOCIALLY ANXIOUS AND I FEEL AWKWARD AROUND YOU ANYWAY SO COULD YOU THROW ME A BONE HERE?
Okay. Deep breaths. Leaving the house an hour early tomorrow so I can go sit in a room in Worcester and be bored to tears by my annual hazmat training. Must remember to bring a sweater, every year I forget and every year I end up freezing. Hey, I can use my murder axe icon for this post! That's cheer-making at least.